Apartment 4A, Pasadena.
Sheldon Cooper sat at his desk, sorting the mail with the precision of a surgeon. "Bill, bill, coupon for tampons—clearly misdelivered—and… oh my."
He froze, eyes widening at the golden envelope in his hands. His name was etched in calligraphy so fine it practically shimmered. He slit it open with his Green Lantern letter opener and read aloud:
"You are cordially invited to the wedding of Paige Swanson and Christopher Justin Reeves, also known as Mr. Miracle."
Sheldon's jaw dropped. "No… it can't be."
"Can't be what?" Leonard asked, walking in with a Diet Coke.
Sheldon thrust the card in his face. "Paige Swanson! My one true intellectual rival! The only girl who ever bested me in mathematics in third grade is getting married… to Christopher Justin Reeves, billionaire super-genius, immortal golden anomaly, and golden guardian of Earth!"
Leonard scanned it, nearly dropping his soda. "Wait—the Chris Reeves? Mr. Miracle? The guy who destroyed a meteor the size of Texas before Omni-Man even showed up?"
Sheldon nodded gravely. "The very same."
Howard, popping his head in from the hallway, grinned. "Dude, Mr. Miracle? The guy who put out a raging forest fire with one breath? I can't even blow out all my birthday candles."
Raj gasped, clutching his chest. "And he saved Japan from that tsunami! With a clap. One clap! Do you know how many anime fans owe him their lives? All of them."
Howard smirked. "So basically, Mr. Miracle is the reason we still get One Piece episodes."
Penny wandered in, grabbed the invite from Leonard's hands, and shrugged. "Oh yeah. I dated him once. Nice guy."
Leonard choked. "YOU WHAT?!"
Howard's jaw dropped. "Penny, is there any insanely powerful man you haven't dated?"
Penny smirked. "Relax. It was one date. Besides, he clearly moved on to bigger things."
Leonard groaned. "Bigger? He's basically Superman with a PhD!"
Penny grinned. "Exactly. And he's way out of my league. Which, trust me, is saying something."
Sheldon began pacing. "This is unacceptable. Not only has Paige Swanson chosen matrimony before me, but she has chosen a man of equal genius. I am forced, under the crushing weight of empirical evidence, to acknowledge Christopher Justin Reeves as my intellectual superior."
Leonard blinked. "You're actually admitting that?"
Sheldon muttered, "Yes. Him… and Paige. Though my dominance in theoretical physics remains undisputed."
Howard grinned. "Mark the date, boys. Sheldon Cooper admitted someone's smarter than him."
Raj wiped away a tear. "This is the most beautiful and intellectually devastating thing I've ever heard."
Sheldon looked at the golden lettering once more, muttering with awe:
"Christopher Justin Reeves. Mr. Miracle. Today, science has betrayed me."
Cue laugh track. Fade out. Next episode: the wedding.