Life is a big joke.
That was the only conclusion I'd come to after seeing my future prospects.
The economy, the environment, social and political issues on the rise… It was all turning to shit.
That's when I made a decision.
Since life is a big joke, I might as well add to the joke.
The year was 2015. I dropped out of university, and dumped all of my student loans and the money I had saved up into my Bitcoin wallet.
I bought, in total, 60.000 dollars worth of Bitcoin.
To everyone, this was crazy, made no sense, and was proof that I had completely lost it.
In a way, I had. Either win big, or lose everything. That's the bet I had made.
"Until then, you'll have to do as your mother says." My uncle muttered, handing me a folded uniform.
It was a white jumpsuit with a bug logo stitched over the chest.
I stared at it in horror. "Uncle. This is… A joke, right?"
"Nope. Pest Control Services. We kill roaches, termites, bedbugs, spiders, rats… Anything that needs to be exterminated, basically.
My stomach sank. "I know mom wants me to get a job and all, but isn't this a bit too much? You know this would kill all my chances of getting a girl, right?"
"The pay isn't so bad."
"But girls…"
"You've never had a girlfriend anyway."
"Still!"
He shrugged, lighting his cigarette. "It becomes fun after a while."
'Doubt that.'
"Anyways, you start in a week."
I hated everything about the idea. Why can't I just chill until my investment pays off? Bugs? Spiders? Hell no!
"Gods, if you're real… Help me out here." I prayed. "I can't do this shit, for real. Throw your boy a bone. Just once. Please, just once. Can you just once…"
The gods did throw him a bone.
On his first day, walking toward the company truck to meet his uncle's crew, Ken stepped into the crosswalk when,
"Somebody call an ambulance!"
"He came out of nowhere! I swear I'm not drun– I'm not drunk!"
As his soul drifted upward, Ken managed a bitter laugh. Hehe. Better than spending my days killing bugs. Thank you, gods. Ahh… I can feel my soul floating… Floating on its way to heaven… Wait… My… My Bitcoin wallet! Who's going to-
Darkness.
…
Then light.
When his eyes opened, he saw her.
A woman with golden locks for hair, and eyes bluer than the sky. Her beauty was so radiant…
Yes, I'm definitely in heaven. She looks just like an Angel…Thank you, Gods…
"I am Angel, actually," she said matter-of-factly. "But, um… You're not in heaven."
"Huh?" Ken blinked. His eyes moved to the right, then to the left. He raised a hand. "I have a body."
"Yes, indeed." The Angel nodded.
"Where am I?" He asked, sitting up. "Grass, trees…"
"You've been transmigrated to a different world."
Ken looked around for a moment, scratched his chin, and looked around some more.
"Sick. So what am I, a Hero or something? Am I getting a System?"
An ounce of embarrassment twisted the Angel's face.
"Actually, um… About the System-"
"So I am getting one?!" Ken's eyes were brimming.
"Well, normally you would but…"
"But? But what? What do you mean but?!"
The Angel looked away, too embarrassed to say it while looking at him. "We've um… We've run out of Systems, so I will act as your personal System."
"The fuck?"
"Yes! Don't worry, it's all good!"
"It is?!"
"Of course!" The Angel clapped her hands, ready to turn the page. "Alright, um…" She looked for a moment. "Perfect!"
Seconds passed.
"What uh… What is that?" Ken asked.
The Angel frowned. Her gaze moved from him to the ground.
"Isn't it obvious? It's your Status Window." She answered, waving the tree branch in her hand around.
Ken couldn't help but gulp. Using that branch, she had written his Status Window on the dirt.
He shook his head. No use thinking too much about it. Just gotta accept reality.
Ken started reading and, as he did, the Angel started talking.
"It is unfortunate that you didn't get to walk your chosen path on Earth." She nodded with her arms crossed, looking proud and smug. "That's why I've decided that we will rectify it."
Ken's eyes brimmed as he arrived at the most important part,
"Class… SSS-Rank…" His heart started beating faster. He never felt more excited.
An SSS-Rank Class! Even without knowing what the Class was exactly, it was obvious that it would be super amazing!
"Insect Exterminator!" The Angel proudly completed his sentence with a shout.
A silent second passed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" He shouted, his voice cutting through the quiet forest.
…
"I'm deathly scared of cockroaches! I hate spiders! I hate insects in general!" Ken shouted.
Under the weight of his complaints, the Angel ended up falling to her knees.
"But that's a good thing, no? You get to kill the things you hate! Isn't that good?"
"No, it's not! It's not good! Not good at all!"
"What are you trying to say? That I made a mistake?"
"Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying! They say that as AIs and phones got smarter, people got dumber! I'm glad to see the logic applies to Angels as well!"
"What's that supposed to meaaaan?" The Angel almost had tears welling up in her eyes.
"You're used to Systems doing the work, so now you did something stupid!"
"It's not my fault! Do you know how long files on humans are? They're super duper long, like what the hell? What was I supposed to do, read everything?"
"Isn't that what you're supposed to do?!"
"It is, but nobody actually does that!"
"Oh, my freaking god." Ken shook his head. "Can we rectify this, at least?"
"N... No…"
"Huh?"
"We… We're just going to have… To make do."
"Make do? The fuck do you mean, make do? I want to be a Dragon Tamer, a Supreme Necromancer, a Heavenly Archer, a Shadow Assassin, not a goddamn Insect Exterminator!"
"Well, it's too late!" The Angel shouted, obviously tired of the complaining. "You're an Insect Exterminator, and that's that!"
"Fuck you!"
"What?"
"You heard me!"
"Nu-uh! Fuck you!"
"Fuck you!"
"Fuck you!"
Eventually, both turned away from one another.
"I'll have you know, I had to give up most of my Angelic Powers to do this. I am to act as your guide and System. If you're ready to deal with this properly, then I can help you-"
"Fuck you." Ken interrupted, and started walking away.
"Wha-" The Angel shook her head. "Fine, suit yourself!" She started walking in the opposite direction.
Ken gulped, before giving a quick glance at his Status Window, still written down on the ground.
'Gotta memorize my Skills and-'
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
"FUCK YOU!" The Angel cursed, continuing to use her foot to wipe the Status Window away.
"FUCK YOU TOO! I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT ANYWAYS!"
And so, the System and the User parted ways.
Ken walked.
And walked.
'This is some bullshit.'
And walked some more.
"This is what happens when no System is provided," he sighed, completely lost in the forest. "Thank you, gods, but your messenger needs a trainer, or a good whooping."
Every now and then, he looked up through the branches, hoping for a landmark, maybe a mountain or some distant village smoke. Nothing but leaves and sky.
'What to do? Should I just choose a direction and head there? Looks like the sun is setting that way, so that would be West. I hope this works the same in this world. Well, where the sun sets is West and that's it, even if they might call it differently for some reason-'
Rustle.
Ken froze.
'Could this be my first enemy?' Ken licked his lip, heart skipping a beat. 'My first mob encounter. Let's hope it's not the Boss Monster type of encounter. The Angel did go in the opposite direction…'
He crept forward, crouching. A bush shook.
'Alright, let's see…'
A groan resonated.
Ken pushed past branches and stopped dead.
'Huh.'
A young woman lay on the ground.
'Not the mob I expected.'
Clothes torn, pale skin streaked with dirt, sweat rolling down her temple. She writhed, chest heaving with shallow breaths.
Ken stared cautiously for a bit. It could be a trap, after all. About a minute passed, and nothing happened. Apart from the young woman's pain worsening.
"H-Hey," Ken approached.
Her head jerked up, and fear flashed in her eyes.
Ken raised his hands, showing that he meant no harm.
Before he could say anything, the fear melted away from her face, and was replaced by relief.
"Thank… God… Someone..." she whispered. Her lips curled into a pained smile. "Someone is here… D-Do you… think you could help me?"
Ken blinked.
"Um…" He shrugged. "Yeah, sure."