Finally
I'm going back to my country.
Being away from friends and family is a little tough.
Yes, it teaches you how to grow on your own—how to handle situations you've never faced before.
But it also comes with its own kind of emptiness.
You miss your parents, their love. You miss your friends, the comfort of home.
Ahhh..home
Nothing matches the energy of your own home.
It's been a tough journey, but somehow, I've reached my first milestone — I've completed the basics of psychology.
I remember back in school, there was this girl.
She always sat at the back, quiet.
Not bullied, not a nerd — just… distant.
She only talked to her close friends.
One day she came to school, smiling constantly. But something about that smile felt off.
I wasn't her friend. I'd never even spoken to her.
But for some reason, her smile bothered me.
It felt like she was hiding something.
Later that day, we found out her cat had died in a car accident.
That hit me.
Was she faking the smile to avoid breaking down in front of others?
Or was she afraid of being judged — for grieving something that others might call "silly"?
That moment stayed with me.
I want to become a psychologist.
Not a psychiatrist.
It's not that I have anything against them — they're amazing at treating people.
But I don't want to treat symptoms. I want to understand the story behind them.
I want to help people before they need medication.
Because I truly believe emotions are healed by listening, by understanding, by valuing someone's pain — not by suppressing it with pills.
Medicines treat the surface.
But emotions… emotions run deep.
Since childhood, I've had this quiet ability to sense people's moods.
A small change in voice.
A flicker in someone's eyes.
The way someone breathes when they're holding something in — I notice it all.
But I never told anyone.
I didn't want to make people uncomfortable, knowing I could see what they were trying to hide.
I don't know if it's a gift or a curse, honestly.
Sometimes I wish I had an on-off switch in my brain — so I could stop thinking, stop observing, stop feeling so much.
Because knowing too much can hurt.
It's not easy.
I know how to hide what I'm going through, but hiding from my own mind?
That's a whole different battle.
Still… even with all that — I want to go deeper.
To understand what others leave unsaid.
To grasp the weight behind words spoken so casually.
Is it okay to want to understand emotions, knowing they can hurt?
Yes. I believe it is.
Because emotions aren't as simple as they seem.
We toss the word around in everyday conversations, like it's light. But it's not.
Trust me it's not.
Emotions have weight.
Real weight.
You have to be strong to carry them.
To me, emotions are the core of a person.
Your attitude, your personality, your manners, your wisdom — even your silence — all of it is shaped by how you feel inside.
How you react when you're hurt.
How you behave when you're overwhelmed.
How you manage when you're breaking inside but still smiling.
That's why I want to study psychology.
Because emotions define us — and I want to understand them, no matter how deep, no matter how painful.
Even if it hurts, I'd still love to know…
a little deeper.
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Do you ever feel like emotions deserve to be heard... not just treated with pills?
This chapter is just a glimpse into a quiet mind that believes healing begins with listening.
If you relate to this, if you've ever felt misunderstood—drop a comment.
And every pretty angel who's reading this... yes, I'm talking to you 🤍
Let me know you're here. And
Thank you so much for reading this chapter💚 .
Zuwa 🍁