Usually, as a kid, you don't remember much as you grow older.
However, those moments I do remember.
I was running around the park. It was packed with kids. It always was. The slides here were the best in the city, according to everyone's opinion.
But then, out of nowhere, a shadow dropped from above.Before I could even blink, a heavy weight collided hard with my head. I barely had time to register the impact before I found myself shoved into the ground, my face meeting the earth with a brutal thud. Pain surged through me, and a lump formed in my throat as I struggled to hold back tears.
I turned my head slightly, wincing. The girl who had just plummeted out of the sky was already on her knees beside me, hastily brushing dirt off her skirt. She looked absolutely terrified, her eyes reflecting genuine, panicked guilt.
I wasn't known for my social skills back then, and I'm not now either.
Amid my tears and pain, I felt it, a soft, delicate hand tenderly touching my cheek. She was wiping away my tears. I couldn't help but wonder if she had experience comforting others, for she seemed so natural, so caring.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice tinged with remorse.
Her voice was soft, and she didn't make fun of me for crying. Gradually, I wiped the rest of my tears away and caught my breath.
"I-I-It's okay," I stammered, "It was my fault for running without thinking."
She gave me a bright, easy smile. "I'm Nakamura, but you can call me Ichika. What is your name?"
My name. It was a simple question, but it caught me completely off guard. Aside from my teachers during roll call, no one ever really asked.I swallowed hard. "Oh... I-I'm Yamamoto," I managed to say, my voice embarrassingly quiet.
I wanted to ask for her name. Would she think I was weird? No, just ask', I told myself. Don't be a coward.
I blurted, "What's your name?" and cringed the moment it left my mouth.
"I just told you! Ichika, Nakamura Ichika," she said in such a sweet way.
"So... what should I call you?"
"K-Kenji."
I looked away as fast as I could. But then I heard her say, "That's a great name!"
I blinked in surprise. No one ever said stuff like that to me.
"Y-you have a beautiful name too."
The words spilled from my lips without thought. I clutched my shirt as Ichika's smile widened.
"Aww... thank you so much!"
Ichika tilted her head, studying me for a second.
"You look sad," she said, her voice lighter now. "Let's cheer you up."
Before I could figure out what she meant, she crouched down and pointed. "Look!"
I followed her gaze. A ladybug was climbing a thin blade of grass, its tiny legs gripping like it was on some dangerous mission.
"Make a wish before it flies away," she whispered, as if the bug could hear us.
"...That's not real," I muttered.
She gave me a mock gasp. "You don't believe in magic?"
"Not really."
"Well, you should. Go on, try it. You can't break a ladybug's heart like that."
I didn't want to admit she'd made me curious, so I shut my eyes and made a quick, silent wish.
When I opened them, the ladybug took off, wings flashing in the sunlight.
Ichika grinned. "See? It's listening to you already."
I rolled my eyes, but... maybe I wanted to believe her.
She stood and dusted off her knees. "Okay, I have something even cooler to show you."
"Cooler than a bug?"
"Way cooler. Come on."
Before I could ask what she meant, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward the far end of the park. We weaved past slides and swings, laughter and shouts fading behind us. At the edge, she ducked through two overgrown bushes.
"Uh... is this allowed?" I asked, ducking after her.
"Shhh. You'll ruin the secret."
The narrow dirt path smelled like sun-warmed leaves and earth. After a short walk, it opened into a hidden clearing. A wide old tree stood in the middle, branches low enough to touch. Its bark was covered with carved hearts, stars, and messy initials.
"This is my spot," Ichika said proudly.
"Only me and my cousin knew about it. But she moved away, so now it's just me. And now... you."
I couldn't meet her eyes after that. My chest felt warm in a way I didn't understand.
We sat under the tree and talked. About her dog who ate her sofa, about how she wants to learn how to do a gum bubble, about my Lego tower that collapsed on me. She laughed at all my stories, like every word was worth hearing.
At one point, she suggested a climbing contest. I refused twice before giving in, and she beat me to the lowest branch, dangling her legs while I was still halfway up. She teased me the whole time, but it didn't sting the way teasing usually did.
After that, we sat side by side under the tree, our knees bent, grass tickling our ankles. The afternoon was so still that even the breeze felt like it was holding its breath. Sunlight dripped through the leaves in scattered patches, sliding across her cheeks whenever the wind swayed the branches. I could hear the faint hum of cicadas in the distance.
She was quiet for a long moment, drawing circles in the dirt with her fingertip. Then, out of nowhere, she asked, "Kenji... what do you wanna be when you grow up?"
The question caught me completely off guard. "...I don't know," I mumbled, shifting my weight and staring at a particularly stubborn blade of grass.
"No ideas at all?" she pressed, tilting her head toward me, her eyes curious but not judging.
I shrugged, still plucking at the grass between my fingers. "I guess... a doctor?"
Her brows lifted. "A doctor?"
That's at least what my parents want me to do. I tried to make it sound like I believed it, but my voice cracked just slightly.
She gave a soft hum, then smiled faintly. "Doctor is amazing. I think I want to be a singer, you know? Making songs, having fans all around the world... Pretty nice, don't you think?"
I blinked at her. "Wow... singing is hard."
She let out a small laugh, brushing a stray leaf from her lap. "My little brother says I'm the worst singer ever, but I think he's lying."
"W-well..." I hesitated, glancing at her from the corner of my eye. "You could... try to sing."
Her grin widened like I'd just given her permission she'd been waiting for. "Right now?" she asked, almost bouncing in place.
I felt my ears warm. "I-I mean... if you want."
She leaned back against the tree trunk, took a deep breath like she was about to perform on a stage, and began humming a soft, slightly off-key melody. It wasn't perfect, her voice wavered in places, but something about it made me want to keep listening.
When she finished, she peeked at me through her lashes. "Well?"
I looked away. "Y-You sing well..."
Her face lit up, and for a second, it felt like the whole world existed just in that moment under the tree.
We kept talking as the afternoon stretched on. The conversation bounced awkwardly at first, then smoothed out as we traded opinions on school, the weird shape of the clouds above us, and which convenience store snacks were superior. I didn't have much practice talking to people, but Ichika made it easy. Every now and then, she laughed at something I said, a light, airy sound that got lost in the rustling leaves.
The sunlight started turning orange through the leaves. Ichika stood up from the ground. "I should go before my mom comes looking for me."
I nodded, reluctant to move. "Oh, okay..."
A warm smile played on her lips. "Do you... Maybe wanna hang out again?"
Wait, what? I wasn't expecting that.My brain scrambled to find the right word. If I said the wrong thing, she might take it back."Y-y-yeah... I'd like to."
"Great! Um, I don't have a phone yet, so could you give me your number? I'll give it to my mom."
"uh.. How do you plan to.. R-remember it?"
"Oh, right..." Ichika made a face of disappointment.
"So... Can we hang out here after school tomorrow? I'll try to get a phone and then we can talk!"
"O-okay Tomorrow After school I'll be here," I said, probably too fast.
"You don't sound very sure..." Ichika said, tilting her head slightly. "Do you promise?"
"I-I promise!" I blurted out, way too quickly again.
She didn't have a phone at age 10. I figured maybe her parents were strict or something. I didn't ask.
"Okay, I believe you! Bye, Kenji! See you!"
"B-Bye, Ichika!"
Looking back, I don't think I understood what I was feeling. I just knew she made the world feel less cold.
We didn't even go to the same school, yet the thought of seeing Ichika again made my chest feel strangely light. For the first time in my life, tomorrow felt like an adventure instead of just another day.
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When I woke up the next morning, my throat felt like sandpaper. At first, I thought it was just a mild cold. I lay in bed, staring up at the familiar cracks in my bedroom ceiling, my head still completely consumed by yesterday.
I couldn't shake the feeling of amazement that had settled over me. I had made a friend, a real friend. It was a concept I hadn't entertained much in my young life. I mean, I wasn't entirely friendless. Some classmates exchanged words with me during school hours, but none of those interactions had ever transcended the classroom.
But when I tried to push myself up, my arms shook. My muscles ached, my head spun, and swallowing felt like swallowing glass.I collapsed back onto the mattress. The dread hit me harder than the fever. I can't go. I was supposed to meet Ichika after school. I had promised. But as I lay there shivering under the blankets, I knew I wasn't making it to the park today.
With a sigh, I sank against the pillows, feeling utterly powerless in the face of my illness. The world outside continued to buzz with activity.
'Hey! Wait for me!'
A cruel reminder of the adventures I was missing out on.
Each movement sent waves of pain radiating through my body.
I heard my mother's voice calling from upstairs. "Kenji, it's time to wake up! You don't want to be late for school again, do you?" Her cheerful tone pierced through the heavy fog of my sickness, a stark reminder of my obligations despite my current state.
Summoning all my strength, I attempted to respond, "Mom... I don't feel good."
"I know school is hard for you, Kenji, but not this trick again.."
"No, Mom, I'm serious, I don't feel so good."
I heard her footsteps hurrying up the stairs.
"What do you mean, you don't feel good?" she asked, pushing my door open.
She stopped the moment she saw me. I was pale, sweating through my shirt, and too exhausted to even sit up.
Her frustration vanished, replaced instantly by a soft, worried expression. She crossed the room and pressed the back of her hand against my forehead.
"You're burning up..." she exclaimed, her voice filled with worry. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"
I felt a pang of guilt at my mother's concern, knowing that I should have spoken up sooner. "I thought I could shake it off," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
Her expression softened as she fetched a thermometer and some medicine from the bathroom cabinet, urging me to rest while she prepared a bowl of soup.
"You can stay at home this time, just rest for today."
"Thank you", I replied.
My mind raced with self-recriminations as I replayed the events of the previous day. I had finally mustered the courage to make a friend, to step out of my comfort zone and connect with someone new. And now, just when it seemed like things were looking up, I had let it all slip through my fingers.
The world didn't want me to make friends?
Then, a troubling thought crept into my mind. My parents didn't know about this newfound connection. Would I go and tell them? The mere idea of their reaction made me hesitate. I could almost hear their playful teasing, the sarcastic comments masked as humor. 'Oh, Kenji actually has friends now! I hope he didn't have to pay her.' They meant no harm, of course, but their jests stung, a reminder of the isolation I had felt for so long.
With a sigh, I decided to keep her a secret. But as the days passed and my fever lingered, my anxiety took over. What if she was mad I hadn't shown up? What if she thought I had lied? The fear of her disappointment, and the dread of my parents' teasing, paralyzed me. I never went back to that park.