"....and this is why the only true way of eating a pizza is with pineapples on it!! The Italians have it all wrong; they are too goddamned stuck in their ways to even understand what a true pizza looks like.
Pineapple is something that belongs on the pizza. Americans and the rest of the world have understood it long ago. When the sweetness of the pineapple meets the savouriness of a New York slice, it just creates a flavour bomb in your mouth.
So what if you are from Italy? I don't care. I am wrong, your mother!! I am wrong, your grandmother!! Go ask your grandma who your real grandfather is. I bet she will say my name.
What? No!! I don't have a fetish for old people, you have a fetish for old people!! Your entire family has a fetish for it!!
Anyways, my point is, pineapple on pizza is the best way to eat it. I can bet my life on it, if I am wrong, may the lightning strike me down where I am standing!!" Just as Xuan Di pushed the post button.
He heard a loud boom, then everything exploded in white.
----------------
Xuan Di woke up again with a nursing headache. He looked around himself and was confused by the environment. Everywhere he looked, it looked like he was on the set of some ancient Chinese drama. Everywhere, the people were walking to and fro from one place to another, wearing gorgeous ancient clothing, while some were flying on swords, others on spears.
It looked like a cultivation world that came alive.
How did he end up here? The last thing he remembered was that he was fighting someone from Italy about what a true pizza tastes like; the next thing he knew, he ended up here.
Just as he was about to approach a passerby to stop and ask him where this place was, he was flooded by a torrent of memories.
His name was the same as his, Xuan Di. He was a poor boy from a far, far away village. His parents died when he was young and he had no one he was close to when he was young.
So he set out of the village when he was young to become an immortal cultivator.
Then, he bumped into a speeding carriage in the middle of the road and died.
Xuan Di was speechless when he read this information.
He basically found out nothing from the memories other than the fact that he was in a world filled with cultivators.
First, he was excited when he found out he was in a world of cultivation. He wanted to break out in cheers. He was finally free of his monotonous office life. He had no one in that world anyway, and his only way to entertain himself was fighting internet strangers.
Now that he was here, he wanted to make sure that he became an immortal and play with those fair-looking immortal sisters every day.
Next, he started waiting patiently on the side of the road, waiting for some fateful aunt/grandpa/system that would find him.
Soon, 15 minutes passed, and there was still nothing.
But he did not give up and kept waiting. Then he was waiting for 3 more hours.
Day turned into night as he kept waiting on the side of the road.
Before he knew it, he fell asleep on the side of the road waiting for god knows what.
----------------
BAM!!
Xuan Di woke up with a startle when he felt someone kick his bum.
He looked around frantically, only to see 2 guards standing in uniform on top of him.
"Get up and leave this place, you filthy beggar. The sect selection is starting. Wake up and go somewhere else to sleep. Or we will throw you out!!"
One of them said in an insulting way as he spat on the road.
Hearing this, Xuan Di was furious. Who were they calling a beggar?! He was a bona fide, future immortal cultivator.
"Who do you think you are, huh? Do you see me? Feast your eyes, as you will not get another chance in life to meet someone so pretigious in your lives."
You are looking at a future, immortal cultivator. When I start on the path of immortality, you will not even have a chance to touch the soles of my feet!!" After saying his piece, Xuan Di put his hands behind his back and tilted his face at a 45-degree angle, acting mysterious.
Hearing his words, both guards looked at each other before they broke out in loud, boisterous laughter.
"Hahaha, good one, kid. I haven't laughed this hard in the past month. Now go away, and make way for real immortal cultivators so they can take the test. Shu shu~"
After finishing their words, the guards walked away, clearing the rest of the street of people like him.
Meanwhile, Xuan Di felt pissed while standing there.
"Just you wait, I will show you all. But where is my damned golden finger system? Or the magical grandpa? I've been waiting since yesterday for them!!"
"Ding! Congratulations, Host for Awakening Mega Broadcaster System!
This system will make host the biggest online streamer in the world!"
Xuan Di was happy after hearing the announcement initially, but he was dumbfounded by the end.
"Hey system, what did you say you were?"
"I am the Mega Broadcaster System Host".
"And what is my task or goal of the system again?"
"To make the host the biggest online streamer in the world."
After hearing the words, Xuan Di's lips twitched.
"Hey system, are you sure you are in the correct universe? Are you sure you're not from a dog-blood, face-slapping universe of movie empress or something?"
"I am a positive host. Host, your goal is to become the biggest streamer in the modern world. The system will give you rewards or gifts based on how many people watch your stream or give donations. It will be broadcast all over the world on all major platforms that start with the Tw one, or the Tube one, Face one, Tic one, or the Q one, etc. "
Xuan Di was speechless. He was probably the first person in the world to get a system like this in a cultivation world.
"Ding! You have one 'Newbie Starter Pack' unopened!! Would you like to open it?"
"Alright, what the hell!!! I will roll with whatever I have!! Open it!!"