They say nothing makes your heart race like falling for a musician... Duang knows now that it's true—so much so that his heart skips a beat when he sees Qin pushing his hair back while smoking beside the hall where the performance will be held. It's almost six in the evening, and his talented guy is dressed so well that it's breathtaking.
The slim figure is wearing a black satin shirt, unbuttoned three buttons down, revealing the necklace he always wears with a locket holding a picture of his family—it's so dreamy it's insane. He pairs it with black high- waisted, straight-leg pants with subtle details, a thin leather belt, and leather shoes that Duang didn't even know Qin had.
He looks like he just stepped out of some Western movie, and Duang is the fool hopelessly in love with everything about him.
"Hey, Duang's here. Okay, talk for a bit—5:45, meet me backstage."
"Yeah, see you." Qin puts out his second cigarette halfway—maybe because the person he doesn't want to expose to the smoke has just arrived.
Duang, who's still in his university uniform because of his classes today, smiles wide as he hands Qin the a cup of coffee, because Qin had sent him a message saying he wanted an iced Americano.
"Are you okay? You look worried."
"You can tell?"
"Yeah, I pay attention."
"Always gotta look good in front of me, huh?"
Qin pushes against the forehead of the cheeky guy, taking the coffee and sipping it while answering the random questions Duang throws at him—oddly enough, it helps calm his nerves.
"If you're worried no one will enjoy the show, I'll send Jet to the front row."
"Please, no." Duang laughs, trying to comfort the other person who lookedstressed to the point that he wanted to hug him.
"People will love it, trust me. Your music is amazing—and so are you."
"Thanks."
"No problem."
"And you... where will you be standing?"
"You won't find Duang? I'm hurt."
"It's dark."
"Just kidding. Probably somewhere in the back. Left corner sound good? Let's set it."
Qin nodded, watching Duang take the empty Americano cup he had finished, like someone who always volunteers to do little things—even though the trash can wasn't far away.
Why is he like this?
How did he grow up?
"You're so cute."
So warm, it makes his heart ache.
"Wait a second."
"Really cute."Duang feels like crying—what kind of wind blew in to make Qin say something like this right here, right now? As if that wasn't enough, he reaches out to ruffle his hair. But before Duang can say anything in return, Qin speaks up again.
"I have to go. See you inside. I'll look for you."
"You've got this! you're the best, Qin. I'll be waiting to hear you sing."
And once again, someone's smile feels like magic that can heal everything. Qin nods, and we hold hands lightly before letting go as the time draws near. Duang looked at the back of the other person who disappeared into the hall through the side entrance reserved for the jazz performers. Regular attendees like him, though, have to enter through the main door.
The tall guy sighs softly—when Qin is stressed, he can't help but feel stressed too. But he can't let it show. As long as he can handle it, he'll carry Qin through anything—he never wants him to feel disappointed. Not in anything. Not even in him.
"Chiwin, are you coming or what?"
"Yeah, yeah—you came all the way to get me?"
"I thought I'd run into Khun Qin."
Pae scratches his head while his friend stares at the door, still clutching the iced Americano cup which is now only filled with ice. He guessed that they had met already because Duang only drinks stuff like this when he'sworking himself to the bone.
"How's he doing?"
"Stressed, obviously. Makes sense, though—it's his first big performance, and it counts toward his grades too."
"Did he sleep last night?"
"Yeah, but not until almost morning. Good thing his friends scheduled the meet-up in the afternoon today."
"I comforted him like crazy." Duang thought before nodding, not sure if the word 'comfort' was the right one, but he held Qin all night until his arm went numb... No, it felt like his arm had completely disappeared, but he didn't complain because it was totally worth it.
Getting to hold someone he felt so much for in his own arms.
"Hey, did you know? The performance order is based on their singing scores for the whole semester."
"I didn't know. Qin didn't say, but I'm not surprised. He's obsessed with jazz music."
"A friend of my friend studied with him in high school. They said he's always been this talented but just doesn't show off his skills much."
"I've heard him sing—like, really sing—only once. Not counting the humming in the car or the times I accidentally overheard him practicing before we even started talking."
Duang smiled to himself. That's why everyone came today. Everyone wants to hear Qin sing. He's someone special without even trying.
"Pae! Duang!"
"Whoa, Jet! It's a concert, not a movie. Why'd you bring popcorn?"
"Mind your business." Pae raised his hand to smack the friend who could never hold a proper conversation. That's just how he was.
"Are we going in? I wanna hear Khun Qin sing already. I overheard a girl at the True café saying Qin looks so good today it's making her wet."
"Did she really say that?" Duang snapped.
"Yeah. Like, literally wet. I sat there and listened to the whole thing.""That's normal. He's famous, you know. But he doesn't really hang out with people or crave attention."
"If I were as hot as him—oh man, I'd be showing off in every faculty!" Jet said dramatically. Earlier, while waiting for his iced chocolate, everyone was talking about Qin and his singing.
That's why Duang was so anxious. It's not that he was afraid Qin would like someone else—he just didn't want anyone else to like Qin. But that was impossible. Jet saw his friend sigh and slump his shoulders as they walked into the hall, wondering why he was getting so down about it.
"Duang, listen to me."
"What now, you idiot?"
"You've already beaten hundreds of people. He's only talking to you."
"..."
"For real, even if a hundred people like him—so what? Are they the ones sleeping in Qin's bed like you do?"
Duang felt his shoulders lift as his confidence surged. Jet was right. Why was he stressing over little things? Yeah... who else gets to see Qin's clingy side like he does? This must be the biggest blessing of his life. He could die after graduation and have no regrets—he'd already used up all his merit.
"It's starting!"
"Aaaaaah! Qin~~~"
"Jazz kids are the best!"
"This is insane—the lighting is amazing!"
Duang raised his compact camera to capture the atmosphere, thinking Qin would probably want to see it later. He looked toward the stage. It was a bit far, but he was sure Qin would be able to spot him because he was quite tall, and they had agreed on the left corner.
The bassist was the first to step on stage, warming up the strings and testing the sound. The girls' screams were loud enough to break glass, and the chatter filled the hall, buzzing non-stop until the singer would arrive.
"Damn, the whole jazz department is here!"
"It's a big deal."
"Even the saxophone section is here, I wasn't expecting that. Not at all!" Jet clapped in excitement because the band was huge—so big that it made him want to carve 'I love you' into the floor with his blood.
As a concert lover, he was impressed, but before he could dwell on it, the whole hall erupted into screams because Qin had just stepped onto the stage, looking unbelievably cool.
"I wanna be his wifeeeee!"
"You damn fool." Duang put Jet in a headlock, covering his mouth tightly. He felt a sharp pang of jealousy, burning inside as he stood in the back and realized that everyone liked Qin.
"Oh my God, he's like a dream."
"Seriously, my friends and I all agree—Qin is the best."
"Ahhh, it's starting!"
Duang stood there with cold hands, even though his body usually ran warm. He had no idea how Qin was feeling on stage right now. From where he stood, he felt so nervous for him that he couldn't stay still. But the momenthe heard Qin's familiar voice greet the audience through the speakers, his heart pounded wildly.
And honestly—there were probably many hearts skipping beats because of this man."Hello."
Qin was announcing the event's name and thanking everyone for coming in such a large number. Duang thought Qin chose his words well and managed his time before starting to play surprisingly smoothly because, normally,
Qin wasn't much of a talker. Maybe it was because it was a formal event. But he liked that he got to see new sides of Qin. And every time he saw them, he fell for every side of him.
"The music vibe is so damn good," Jet muttered.
"For real. And they're only freshmen, this is already giving me chills."
As the sound of the saxophone and piano faded, playing a rhythm that made you want to sway along softly, Qin's voice came through the high-quality speakers. Duang smiled wide because his heart felt like it was about to burst.
"Oh my God, my heart."
"So good, seriously."
"It's like a dream."
Everyone was saying things like that. They weren't loud, but Duang could still hear them—and he thought the same. How could someone be so dreamy? And now that he was singing right in front of them, his heart couldn't take it.
Where did he get all this charm from?
And damn, he knew how to work the stage.
And that face he made while singing the line.
"Oh, cherie amour, pretty little one that I adore. You're the only girl my heart beats for. How I wish that you were mine."Who the hell taught him that?
"You're awfully quiet," Jet teased.
"Can't stop looking at him."
"You're even more gone than before. My friend here—a hopeless romantic,"
Jet shook his head in mock disapproval, watching his friend respond absentmindedly while keeping his eyes locked on the stage. Duang raised his camera to snap a few shots of the person singing over there.
Jet figured he'd probably push his way to the front soon—because, of course, he had to get closer to his 'life partner.'
Yeah, 'life partner' really fit at this point—Duang was looking at Qin like he'd gladly die for him.
"Dude, listen to that high note."
"I'm gonna lose my mind," Duang swore under his breath, running a hand over his face because it was just too much. How was falling for a musician this intense? And Qin wasn't just playing—he was singing. When he got into the song, he'd sway a little, tease with his expressions—it was nothing like when he was just sitting around. This version of him?
Absolutely lethal.
There was no way out of this.
"Damn, this song is so good."
"For real. It fits Qin's voice perfectly."
"I'm about to faint, I swear."
"Stay strong, my friend. Today is not your dying day."
"You can't die yet, Duang. Not until he's yours."
Duang wanted to lie down on the floor and cry when Qin spotted him in the crowd. And even though the song wasn't that suggestive, the music and theway Qin's face looked while singing—it was so intimate, it was insane.
The tall guy walked from his original spot to the front to take a picture of the person singing and doing a little dance that was so tempting to cuddle.
What even is this guy's deal?
And now—now he was looking at him, too. Looking so much that people nearby started noticing and glancing his way. His face felt hot—not because of the venue's temperature. Duang just silently thanked the jazz club for keeping the hall dim. If it weren't for the lighting, everyone would know how red his ears were.
How can someone be this sexy while wearing a full outfit?
"How could I think to myself that you're the only one for me?"
Duang watched him through his camera lens. The purple lights made Qin look even more like a dream. A soft smile crept onto Qin's face when he noticed how much the audience was enjoying the performance.
It was in that moment—when the double bass hummed along with the keyboard—that Qin, playful as ever, pointed directly at him like it was just part of the performance.
Maybe to everyone else, it seemed like a natural move—just a performer going with the rhythm. But Duang knew better. It wasn't that simple. Not for them.
There was meaning behind it—a meaning just for the two of them to understand.
"You're my cup of tea."
Just the two of us.
____________
It was me who bought food and waited for him in the room because he had to come back to change clothes after handling the musical instruments once the event was over, before going out to drink with his faculty friends. I wanted to go too—not to drink, but just to sit and keep an eye on him—but since it's friend's day , I didn't want to overstep that much.
Being a good boy and waiting for him in the room seemed like a better idea.
"Duang."
"Oh, you're here earlier than I thought."
I turned and smiled at him as he walked into the room, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it aside. My breath hitched because of his beautiful collarbones and the locket resting against his fair chest. He raised an eyebrow, glancing at me with a curious look before walking over to the fridge to grab a drink.
"Are you in a hurry? If you are, eat first and shower later."
"I'm in a hurry, but not too much."
"Hey, are you messing with me?"
"I can be late—I want to be with you first."
Maybe it's because my mind is dirty, but I swallowed hard when he slowly unbuckled his sleek belt, rolled it up, and tucked it into his Hermès box. His hair was starting to grow long enough to tuck behind his ear. Neither of us had plans to cut it, but his hair had grown far longer than mine.
I poured his favorite food onto a plate while sneaking glances at him. He seemed hot, fussing around looking for the air conditioner remote and checking his phone to answer messages. I couldn't help but smile at his irritated expression."What's so funny?"
"You're like a kid—if you're annoyed, sit down and cool off."
"It's hot."
"What's Duang supposed to do? Just wait for the AC."
After setting the food on the plate and waiting for him to eat, I grabbed the thinnest jazz book he owned and fanned him. He pouted, pointing for me to sit next to him, so I did—but I kept fanning him without stopping.
I told you—I'd be anything for him.
Anything I possibly could be.
"Not stressed anymore, huh? You're just cranky because it's hot."
"Why did they make us wear black? It's hot as hell."
"You're like a different person on stage—flirting with your eyes and all. I was clenching my fists the whole time."
"You're overreacting."
I immediately straightened my back when he rested his head against my chest... him, with his bare upper body, his skin touching mine directly in a way it never had before. I pressed my lips together, took a deep breath, and stopped fanning when I realized the air had cooled down.
"You were amazing today. Really."
"Mm. Thanks."
"Everyone was praising you. I'm so possessive of you, but... I also want people to respect how talented you are."
"Since when are you so reasonable?""Maybe since I fell in love with you."
I held my breath when I realized I had said it out loud... and he froze for a moment, long enough to make me wonder what to do next. I decided to pull out a finished roll of film from my bag, placing it in his hand before saying,
"This is for you."
"Hmm? Film?"
"Yeah. I took pictures of you and the atmosphere—but mostly you."
"I thought you said you wouldn't take any."
"I lied."
"Smartass."
He swore but smiled, and I smiled back before pressing a kiss to his hair. He tilted his head up to glare at me. Yes, he did it even though he was leaning down against my chest.
And at that angle,
With the light like this...
"Thank you."
"..."
"For everything."
And it was me who was bold enough to kiss him first.I kind of knew that once there was a first time, there would inevitably be asecond—but I didn't think I'd be the one to start it. I smiled against his lips when he allowed me to kiss him, when he kissed me back.The sound of our tongues sliding against each other was wet and messy.
My hands touched his skin—it was smooth, soft, and fragrant when I pressed my nose against the crook of his neck. I kissed his chin reverently before moving back to claim his lips again. Qin started to get playful, pushing things even further by teasingly biting my lip.
I wasn't sure if he was teasing me or if he just couldn't help himself...
But now I was straddling him.
"Calm down."
"You're the one—... you're unzipping my pants, Qin."
"I'm not—I'm just holding you back."
He argued, but that wasn't true. I could feel my zipper sliding down, the buttons of my jeans being undone smoothly, and that unfamiliar smile on his face.
He was such a tease.
"Don't do this."
"I'm helping."
"Qin..."
"Hold it in."
"Can Duang help you too?" Well, we're both guys—why wouldn't I know?
He stayed quiet for a moment before nodding. I slid my hand over his waist. It was so slender that I wanted to leave kisses all over it, but all I could do was think about it.
"How long can you stay late?" I asked after pulling away from the kiss and softly kissing the corner of his mouth. His eyes were hazy and dreamy, even more than before. I felt satisfied that no one else could see him—no one else could see this. He was shirtless and about to have his pants taken off.
He was definitely going to be teased by me. Qin wrapped his arms around my neck, lifting his face to kiss me softly before saying,
"As long as I want."
And he really did get teased by me.
__________
"I'm not leaving yet. If you're in a hurry, eat without me. I'm fine like this."
Duang glanced at the person who had already changed into new clothes. Damn it. We showered together. I want to die. I want to disappear from this world.
And now, just looking at the sofa in the middle of the room makes my face burn, especially since I was the one who slipped my hand into his pants first. I still remember his breathless moans, the way he kept calling my name over and over again with those half-lidded eyes while I pressed him down into the sofa. I felt so much that I ended up biting him a few times as he reached his peak.
Thank God it's a leather sofa—otherwise, we'd be cleaning it forever.
"What are you staring at?"
"You."
"Eat."
"It's cold now—whose fault is that?"
"Yours. Can't get enough, can you?" Qin scolded him relentlessly, once again becoming the most hot-tempered person in Nakhon Pathom. It made me want to dive in and kiss his head, especially seeing him eat stir-fried squid with salted egg like a thug, his wet hair falling messily over his face."But you're so pale."
"..."
"And you smell so good."
"Asshole."
"Marry me."
"I haven't even asked you yet."
"Marry me." And of course, Duang got a cucumber thrown at him—but as usual, he wasn't bothered. Because when Qin acts like this, it means he's embarrassed. Definitely.
"Shameless."
"Don't act like I did it all by myself. You unzipped my pants first."
"You put your hand in my pants."
"Whatever. This is what they call mutual wrongdoing."
"No self-control."
"Wow, you can actually say that out loud." Duang, who was about to argue, got a finger pointed at his face by the pale guy.
"Just eat. Don't talk."
"Yes, yes, yes."
As Qin ate, he kept glancing at the person who seemed unusually cheerful. Honestly, when he was singing, he barely took his eyes off Duang—even though he really shouldn't have done that. He'd probably lose points for not scanning the entire hall like he was supposed to. But whatever—how many points could they even take off anyway?"Where did you leave marks?"
"Not on your neck—I didn't want people to look at you the wrong way."
"At least you have some sense."
"Oh, by the way, Duang's going to Hua Hin on Saturday—to paint for an assignment."
"With who?"
"Pae, Jet, and two other girls."
"Who?"
Holy shit.
Just like a real wife... which he is.
Why? Who's going to argue with that? Duang held back a smile. Did Qin know that the way he looked and the tone he used when asking 'who' was so damn jealous? It was adorable—so freaking adorable. Oh, God.
"Paeploy and Kee—you probably don't know them."
"They don't like you, right?"
"Uh, how would I know that?"
"Shitty answer. Try again."
"Damn it."
"Answer again."
The pale guy put down his fork and knife, clasping his hands under his chin while staring at the other intensely... If Duang fumbled even once more, he wouldn't let him breathe peacefully."Whether anyone likes me or not, I don't know. I only like you."
"..."
"Is that good enough for you?"
"Are you just saying this to please me?"
"Qin!" Duang cried out before bursting into laughter because this version of Qin was new to him too. So cute—how could anyone be this cute? Was Qin really that determined to win this? Duang didn't want to go anywhere anymore—screw the drinking plans.
"Drive safely—you're coming back the same day, right?"
"Yeah, we'll take turns driving."
"Don't sit next to the girls."
"Qin, are you serious right now?"
"What? I can't be possessive?"
"Qinnn!"
How could he even say that?
He's crazy.
"Calm down, my heart can only take so much."
"If I'm jealous of you, you can be jealous of me too."
"..."
"You said I'm your only one."
Duang locked eyes with Qin, who said those words with such seriousness that his heart pounded as if it would break free from his chest. It overflowed inside him—the realization that everything Qin had been doing and saying was his way of showing that they were equals.
No matter who started this first, Qin always tried to keep things fair between them.
"You're my only one too."
That's why Duang kept saying—
Qin was unbearably cute.
"If you don't stop, I'll get up and kiss you, and you won't be leaving this place ever again. That's final."
"Do I look like I'm scared of you?"
"Don't push it. I get it—you're jealous. I understand completely. Should I send you hourly photo updates?"
"Do I seem that fussy to you?"
"Nope. Because if I asked, you'd do it too, right?"
"Yeah... you're always so clingy."
"But I'd never ask for anything that makes you uncomfortable. And whatever you ask for—I'll do it happily. It's no big deal, so don't overthink it."
"I don't want you to force yourself for me."
Qin placed more food on Duang's plate, his gaze lingering on the eyes that always warmed his heart. He wanted to keep things just like this—warmand steady. He wanted it to last without either of them having to change. Because no one should have to bend over backward for someone else.
"With you, I never have to force myself.""..."
"Is it too cheesy if I say it feels like I've prepared everything just to loveyou?"
At that moment, Qin let his guard down.
Maybe he had already done so a long time ago.
"Really?"
Because the truth was—
"I've prepared everything just to love you too."
He had already given everything to love the person sitting right in front of him.