"Ter, are you okay?"
"Just a moment."
"Qinnn, Duang is totally fine. Come here and cuddle."
The large hand knocked on the bathroom door, signaling the other person to come out already. Don't say he's the only one preparing—Qin already knew what to prepare if they were going to have sex.
We just went to get tested together three days ago. It was just a formality... clean in both body and heart. He is, at least.
"Youuuu."
"Shut up."
Qin shouted from the bathroom, leaving Duang to sigh alone. Alright, if Qin wants to try, it has to be today—tonight, for sure.
Shit, just thinking about it makes his hands cold.
"Do you want Duang to come in and help?"
"I'll punch your mouth."
The tall one laughed to himself because Qin kept scolding him non-stop. At this point, all he could do was sit cross-legged on the sofa. Oh right, that MV where he randomly got cast as the lead had already been released. The view count exploded because of the final kissing scene that the director begged Qin repeatedly until he nodded that he would let him use it.
Who knew they secretly filmed from that angle? Now, it's become a gender-neutral love song. Whether it's a man and woman, woman and woman, or man and man—it doesn't matter. Love itself is already hard enough. Why worry about the gender? In the end, they had to shoot extra scenes of the old memories the characters shared.
When the crew saw that he and Qin had matching tattoos, they filmed our ankles for the tiptoe-to-kiss scene, the lying-together scene, and even the video thumbnail. The sun in the forest and the moon falling into the sea.
Brutally romantic.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Took you long enough."
"Why don't you try doing it yourself, then?"
"Don't give Duang false hope. I'm already imagining too much."
"You're so shameless," Qin shook his head. He shouldn't have told Duang that he didn't want to be the one on top—it really was tiring. But honestly, if it weren't Duang, he wouldn't let anyone else do it either.
"Come watch the movie already. You don't need to prepare anything. Geez."
"It's your fault. You can't keep your hands to yourself. Always touching."
"Well, you always let me."
"Shut up."
"Okaaay," the two of them moved up onto the bed to watch a movie on Netflix together as they had agreed that they wouldn't do anything tonight, after surviving a hellish week. The workload felt like they weren't even freshmen anymore, and just thinking about the future made them want to cry.
"Next time, Duang has to draw someone again. You be the model, okay?"
"No way. I sat so long that my legs went numb last time."
"Alright, this time you can lie down while I draw you."
"And what do I get for being your model?"
"What do you want?"
"Can I have you?"
"Qin!" Duang shrieked, hugging himself tight. He's said things like this so many times already. Is he really going to give in to Qin? T_T He promised not to get his hopes up, but here he is, hoping again.
"Stop talking. Watch the movie."
"Yesss," the tall guy drawled, sneaking an arm around the other until Qin eventually rested his entire body against Duang's chest. They cuddled like that, watching the movie on the MacBook screen in the chilled, dimly-lit room, just like always.
Duang listened to the English dialogue between the main character and his father. He pressed his nose into Qin's fragrant hair. After they'd both showered, their bodies moved closer together until they were pressed against each other.
"I love this scene," Qin whispered as the movie reached that moment.
The scene he had watched ten times and still loved every time.
"We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty."
Duang watched Qin's pretty lips move along with the character's dialogue without making a sound. He was captivated by the way Qin got captivated by things such as books, music, jazz, movies, sneakers, the taste of cigarettes.And before he realized it, they'd lost themselves in each other, enough to make the movie's dialogue fade into near silence. Qin's corn-colored T-shirt was pulled away, leaving pale skin exposed to the chilly air and the mingling scent of both of them becoming one.
Maybe it was the desire wrapping them together.
"Lift your hips a bit."
Qin was so obedient that Duang felt his heart melt. If someone asked when Qin was the cutest, he wouldn't know how to answer, because there was never a moment that wasn't the cutest. Every time he looked, Qin seemed even cuter, even when being teased until his whole body trembled. Pale hands tangled in Duang's hair while Duang bit down on the inside of Qin's thigh with no small amount of force. Then he glanced up at the person leaning against the headboard and their eyes met.
"Are you okay?"
"Don't be cocky."
"But am I really good at it?"
"..."
"Duang's mouth, is good, isn't it?"
The answer was the inarticulate moan rising from Qin's throat. It slipped out gradually, like water overflowing from a glass. Qin whimpered, watching the person between his legs pleasure him thoroughly, making his whole body tremble with the realization that tonight, they'd go further than ever before.
Far enough to almost touch the edge.
"Duang."
"What is it?""Kiss on"
There's nothing Qin has ever asked for and not received. Because the moment the words leave his lips, he gets kiss after kiss from someone who's always a little wicked when they're in bed. Duang strips off Qin's shirt, followed by his underwear the very next second. They hold each other close like that—skin to skin, breath to breath.
Qin feels like everything around him fades into a blinding white. White—like the paper Duang uses to draw.
"The first finger, Qin."
"Mm."
"If it's too much, tell me, okay?"
The first touch feels intense—so intense that it makes him squirm, even though Duang uses plenty of lubricant. It's not easy, no matter how much they try. But soon, the skilled artist softens the bold strokes, blending them gently until the intensity fades—eased by soft, soothing kisses. The second finger follows, slipping in just as Qin holds his breath.
"Relax a little."
"Duang... It's—"
"You're so tight."
His cheeks burn, just as hot as the warmth between Duang's legs when Qin reaches out to touch him. The rhythm they move with, the way their bodies guide each other toward a shared destination—it feels like a love song he's never heard before.
The sound of their kisses mixes with the slick, wet noises filling the air. Duang smiles in satisfaction when Qin's hips push back against his fingers, eager and pliant. There's something about the way Qin looks—so delicate and yet so tempting—that makes it impossible to resist. His fair skin flushes a vulnerable shade of red, while a thin sheen of tears glimmers in his eyes.Duang presses kisses everywhere he can—his forehead, the bridge of his nose, his cheeks, his lips—never missing a spot.
His voice drops to a whisper, guiding Qin gently through every step. When he finally pulls his fingers away, the absence makes Qin lift his hands to cover his face, as if trying to hide his flustered expression.
"You're so cute."
"Duang... don't."
Qin's voice trembles slightly as he protests the next kiss—this one pressed to his ankle after Duang props his hips up with an extra pillow and lifts oneof his legs over his shoulder. It's too much—too intimate. He feels utterly exposed, his body turning soft and pliant under Duang's touch. It's beyond just being embarrassed—it's overwhelming. Qin doesn't even know where to place his hands anymore, his flushed face turning away from the eyes that drink in every part of him.
"Ah..."
"You bastard."
"I just want it to be even harder."
"Damn it... ah—"
Qin gasps, biting down on his lower lip as he watches Duang slide a condom over himself, using his teeth to tear the wrapper open. The sensation when Duang presses the tip against him—slick and cool—makes
Qin's body tremble with impatience.
"Duang, don't tease me."
"Qin, you're..."
"You—" Qin interrupts, because the flood of emotions inside him is too much to contain.
"What is it?"
"Just... put it in already."
"..."
"I don't want to wait anymore."
Everything felt difficult—the effort to control his strength, to hold himself back from finishing too soon. The moment Duang slowly pushed himself iinside Qin, it felt tight, hot, and overwhelmingly pleasurable. Duang let out a low moan, gripping Qin's hips firmly while the other bit his own lip to stifle any sound. They didn't move right away, staying still to let Qin's body adjust to the intrusion.
Duang kissed Qin everywhere he could think of—his forehead, the tip of his nose, his cheeks, his lips, his Qin, the center of his chest, his delicate collarbone, and the small beauty mark on his shoulder.
"Duang is going to move."
"Mmh, slowly... please, go slow,"
"Okay," Duang laughed quietly. He liked it like this—when neither of them rushed or demanded too much from each other. He began to move gently, as tenderly as he had always wanted with Qin. It was a slow, intimate rhythm that made Qin moan softly against his lips. Duang captured those sounds with more kisses, their tongues tangling until a thin trail of saliva slipped from the corner of Qin's mouth.
They kept kissing—over and over—until the pace naturally grew deeper and more intense.
"Duang... ah... you... it's...,"
"Does it feel good?"
Qin didn't answer, instead burying his face against Duang's neck. The more Duang moved, the more Qin's legs spread wider without realizing it, inviting him in. Duang kissed the shell of his ear, whispering words of love and gentle reassurances as he continued to guide their movements. He thrust into Qin as if he'd lost control for a moment, but the other let him take advantage without protest.
"You... it's too much... ah!"
Qin had no idea where Duang had learned to do something like that—quickening his pace until the obscene sounds echoed through the room. When he pulled out, it left Qin feeling empty, only to push back in fully again.
The pale-skinned man moaned incoherently, and before he knew it, Duang had already lifted him onto his lap. Duang gazed at Qin's trembling, weakened body with eyes that made the other's heart race.
"You're already so good at this," Duang murmured, holding Qin's hips firmly as the other started to take control.
He had guessed the view would be incredible, but he never thought it would be this good—the sight of Qin moving on top of him, the expressions on his face, the way he bit his lip and called his name, the soft, pleading words that reminded him of a cat craving its owner's warmth and affection.
Without realizing it, Duang's warm palm cupped the side of Qin's cheek. Qin kept moving, his body rising and falling steadily, and it was almost too much for Duang to handle. The unrelenting motion of Qin's slender waist pushed him dangerously close to the edge.
"Qin... I can't hold on," Duang gasped.
"M-Me too... just a little more..." Qin's voice trembled.
Their position shifted again as Duang locked his arms around Qin's waist and leaned back against the headboard. Qin winced at the sensation—it was so deep and tight that it was almost too much to bear. His lips, flushed redfrom trying to suppress his moans, parted wider when Duang thrust upward to meet him.
Qin whimpered like a child when Duang held his arms down, preventing him from touching himself. Duang continued to move, again and again, the sound of skin meeting skin echoing through the room. And in the final moment when his mind went blank, Qin realized he had reached his climax—without even needing to touch himself.
A warm sensation bloomed deep inside him.
"Duang loves you, Qin,"
"Hah..." Qin panted, feeling the warmth spreading inside him despite Duang wearing a condom. Duang gave a few more slow thrusts, and Qin's gaze fell on the milky white mess on Duang's stomach—evidence of his own release.
It was good sex.
"What are you staring at, my good boy?"
"I love you too."
"..."
"I love you, Duang."
It was the kind of 'good' that came from love—Built on intention, desire, and readiness.
In the end, there was only one word.
One word that filled his heart.
"Thank you."
It was the one word they both said simultaneously before holding each other close.
Thank you—truly.
_________
Duang yawned so wide that his eyes teared up. Anatomy class—both human and animal—was making his head throb. But the upside? Everyone knew the professor was super chill. You could bring anyone to class if you wanted, like right now, with Qin fast asleep beside him.
Their hands were intertwined beneath a slightly damp jacket, but neither of them seemed to care.
Duang didn't know what to call this—
But whatever it was, it had stuck them together like glue since that night.
"Hey, Duang, Khun Qin's waking up."
"Shit."
Jetana nudged him, pointing at Qin, who looked particularly uncomfortable and, honestly, very confused. Seriously—why hadn't he just gone back to his own room? But please, lately, the two of them were glued together like gum in someone's hair.
No joke—Jetana was stressed.
"A real lover boy," Pae whispered, nudging Duang to check out how he was gently stroking Qin's hair in an attempt to soothe him. Only fifteen minutes left until class ended—hang in there, Qin.
"Duang is a number one—no runner-up. At this point, my friend's standing alone on top,"
"Jet."
"Yeah, Pae?"
"Do you feel theaura of love?"
"Always. But Duang's? It's blinding."
"No, seriously—there's something going on between those two."
"Wait—you're saying...!" Jetana's eyes widened dramatically.
"Khun Jetana?"
And just like that—karma hit.
"Stand up and answer the question. If you get it right, I'll let everyone out early."
"Jetttt!"
"Dude, focus."
"Jetanaa!"
Meanwhile, Duang—who had just finished coddling Qin—let out a quiet laugh. Watching the class clown squirm under pressure? Priceless.
"Duang."
"You're awake? I was so proud of myself for getting you to fall asleep."
"I'm hungry."
"Aw, Qin."And just like that—Duang's heart melted again. He wanted to kiss him right there, but this was still class. Instead, he handed Qin a bottle of water while letting go of his hand to start packing up, confident that Jetana could totally nail this.
"What's the slogan of Phrae province?"
"Wait—what?!" Jetana gawked.
"Come on, Jetana. What's the answer?"
Qin who is now fully awake and catching up on the chaos, figured that, like everyone else, Jetana probably had no clue. Otherwise, why would he put up with being manhandled like that?
"Mor Hom, teak wood, the land of Phra Lor's love, Cho Hae, the city of wonders, and kind-hearted Phrae people!" Jetan rattled off confidently.
"HOLY—MY GUY!"
"Dude, he didn't even guess—I was Googling it the whole time."
"JETANAA!"
"Unbelievable," Duang muttered under his breath, laughing softly. Trust Jetana to pull off something like this—memorizing provincial slogans despite being a born-and-bred Bangkok kid. What a legend.
"Come at me—Jetana, the walking encyclopedia!"
"I'm impressed, man," Pae admitted, shaking his head as the professor sighed in defeat. True to her word, she released the class a whole ten minutes early—thanks to Jetana's bizarre knowledge. If it had been a question from the lecture, he'd have failed for sure. The guy spent the entire period playing Mario Kart.
Classic.
"Can you two stop flirting already?!""Shut up—Qin just woke up."
Duang raised a hand to smack Jetana on the head for his teasing. It wasn't like they were holding hands or anything—at least, not in public. Maybe outside of school, but even then, it was just casual proximity. Yet, somehow, everyone still managed to tease them nonstop.
"Why are you so sleepy, Khun Qin?"
"I pulled an all-nighter working last night."
"And you had class this morning?"
"Something like that, but the professor let us go early—he had something to do. It was like he just came to take attendance. If I had known, I would've skipped. I was too lazy to go back to the dorm, so Duang told me to sleep in class."
"I'll take you out for garlic shrimp at noon." Duang said.
"You always bribe him with food."
The person being criticized just shrugged—told you, food can buy Qin over. The love he has for food is pure and true! The four of us split up when we reached the faculty exit. Jet had to go to the bank, Pae went to have lunch with their partner from another university, and Qin and I had to go all the way out there for garlic shrimp—almost to Bangkok. But a promise is a promise. We're both free in the afternoon, so we can do whatever we want.
"I'll drive."
"Are you still sleepy? If you are, I can drive—I went to bed way earlier than you last night."
"It's fine. I'll drive."
"So stubborn.""It's just driving," Qin said as he reached into Duang's pants pocket for the car keys. He never used to do things like that, but ever since that night, he's been more touchy-feely—even in public.
It's such a win—I could cry T_T
"I forgot to tell you. We're going to It's Bar tomorrow."
"Oh? Is it someone's birthday, or are you just going to hang out?" Qin, who was turning the wheel to exit the university gate, shook his head before answering.
"A senior asked me to play bass for them."
"I don't approve."
"Don't be silly, they asked me for a favor."
"I'm just jealous, okay? Playing bass is cool."
"Please."
"Qinnnn," Duang wrapped his arms around Qin and buried his face against his shoulder while they were stopped at a red light. Qin let out a long sigh and gently patted Duang's head. He wanted to scold him, but he also understood why he was being possessive. He felt the same way about a lot of silly things too. But when a senior asks, you can't exactly say no— especially as a freshman.
"You'll survive, Duang. You'll be a sophomore soon enough."
Fine, I'll come to watch you then."
"Bring your friends too. They're offering free drinks—I'll share some with your table."
"Don't accept drinks from anyone else. I don't want you getting drunk—you get all clingy when you're wasted."
"Don't exaggerate. I got spiked that time—who could stay on their feet? You're no better when you're drunk."
"Don't argue, don't argue, don't argue!"
"Are you raising your voice at me?"
"Shit. Sorry. I'm scared now," Duang pressed his hands together in a prayer-like gesture. And yeah, he really was scared—scared of Qin more than his mom. If anyone called him whipped, he wouldn't even bother arguing.
"Don't overthink it. I'm just playing bass."
"Fine. As long as I get to watch you, it's okay."
"Mm. Thanks for understanding."
"Don't be this sweet, Qin—my heart can't handle it."
Qin didn't reply, letting their playlist play softly in the background. When he glanced over again, Duang had already fallen asleep. Truth was, last night while Qin was working, Duang said he'd stay up to keep him company—and he really did, all the way until almost 2 AM. Qin had toforce him to go to bed, or neither of them would have made it to class.
He loved this kind of consistency from Duang like crazy. It didn't need to be more—just staying the same as the first day was enough.
"I feel like I've just woken up from someone else's dream, Life feels returned to me, some parts that were lost..."
The song playing was an old one by Stamp—yes, that was the name of the track. Qin found himself softly singing along. It was an old song, but the meaning always touched him whenever he heard it. The reason he put it on their playlist was because he wanted Duang to hear it too.
"What I didn't know before, you let me understand through your embrace— That the thing I've been searching for all this time... is you."
Qin smiled to himself, thinking back to the Loy Krathong festival last year. That bread krathong Duang insisted he buy—even though neither of them planned to float one—they were just passing through to get some cold drinks at the university fair.
Last year during Loy Krathong, he was still a freshman, wearing a name tag around his neck as part of the hazing tradition.
"Hey, hey—my friend likes you."
He still remembered Duang's silly face that day, but when he looked deeper into his eyes, he saw all the possibilities—and it made him hold his breath without realizing it.
And today, those possibilities had become reality.
"When you turned and smiled at me, I understood then—everything beautiful in this world is just an illusion, Except for you, standing right here in front of me."
"You!"
"What? Why are you so loud?" Qin asked in a voice that sounded like he was trying to soothe, because he wasn't quite sure whether Duang had a nightmare that startled him awake or if it was something else. Sensitive as ever, that one.
"I was just shocked that I fell asleep, hehe."
"I thought it was something serious."
"You're worried about me, huh~~"
"What are you doing this evening?"
"Can we do that?"
"Do what?"Duang bit his lip, his face turning red, ears flushing... Could he really ask for this? Honestly, after that night, he and Qin had been doing it pretty regularly. It was like an addiction. But over the past couple of days, Qin had been swamped with work, so Duang hadn't been bothering him much.
"Well... like, have sex."
"Sure."
"Whoa, just like that?"
"And why not?"
"Can I scream?"
"We're both getting something out of it. You're happy, I'm happy."
"Qin... I'm about to cry, you know?"
"Enough with that. You're such a crybaby. I promised myself I wouldn't make you cry, but you cry over every little thing. You wail like a kindergarten kid."
Duang loved it when Qin nagged like this—it was so wife-like. It made him want to grab him and kiss him just to shut him up, but if he did that now,
he'd probably get kicked.
"It's just... it feels so good, like I'm dreaming."
"No, you deserve this."
"You mean... you?"
"Yeah. Me. I'm trying to be the kind of love you deserve, so I won't take it back. Whether it's me or a good kind of love—it's all the same."
God, he wanted to hug him.
Why was Qin like this?"What's that face for?"
"My 'holding it in' face. Do you even realize how cute you are?"
"Stop exaggerating. We're almost at the restaurant—this alley, right?"
"Yeah. You want to eat a hundred shrimp?"
"How much money do you even have?"
"A lot. I just tricked some cash out of Hia Nan."
"Unbelievable."
Qin smoothly parked the car, turned off the engine, and just as he was about to get out, Duang tugged on his arm and pulled him in for a soft kiss—nothing too deep. That bright smile of his made Qin smile back again.
In the end, things were still simple.
"Let's eat."
Happiness.
Falling in love.
Love itself.
"Yeah."
A good kind of love.
"Eat a lot, my strong guy."
"You too."
"Because tonight, you're gonna need the energy. I'm thinking three rounds sounds just right."
"Asshole."
"Three rounds, three rounds."
"You'll be wiped out first. Don't push it—one round is enough."
They bickered all the way to the restaurant, keeping everything simple—saying what was on their minds, understanding each other clearly, meeting halfway. Not forcing things, not rushing ahead blindly, but still moving forward without losing themselves.
Holding hands.
Preparing everything to be just right.
"Hey."
And when that day comes—
When we reach that place—
"What?"
"Thanks for being so sweet to me every day."
We'll know with all our hearts how lasting it will be. How steady it will stay.
"Yeah. Thanks to you too."
We know best.