"How troublesome," I muttered.
"We won't take long," he promised apologetically. "But I'm sure you can agree we don't want to repeat all this in a few years?"
"Hmm." I glanced at Enid. "Then, make her Headmaster."
"What?" Enid blinked. "But I don't-"
"Done," Givens said. "All in agreement?"
A round of ayes filled the room, causing Enid to begin shaking.
"The ayes have it," he said. "Congratulations, Headmaster."
"I don't want the job!" She shouted. "I don't want to be thrown into the void any more than any of you do! And, no offence, Taran, but you don't seem to be the most stable sort of person. What if I do something you don't like? Then what?"
"Enid Squelch," I said slowly, trying to calm her down. "What do you think the last Headmaster's mistake was?"
She looked down at the list. "Umm. Bullying?"
"No," I said. "That's something I'm sure most people in power do by instinct. No, the real mistake was refusing to see me. Had he let me through in the beginning, I would have visited his office and given him a thorough lashing of the tongue. Then I might have offered him a biscuit. Finally, I'm sure he would agree that mookish behaviour isn't something the Guild should be any part of. Wouldn't you agree with me so far?"
"I suppose…" She pursed her lips. "When you put it like that…"
"No one is perfect, Enid," I said. "And I don't expect you to agree with me on everything I would suggest. But what I do expect is that you at least make yourself available, offer me some tea, and listen to my concerns. If I am wrong, feel free to educate me. I have lived in the void longer than you can imagine, you know. I'm very used to changing expectations. But what I am not used to is mookishness and rudeness. In the face of these two things, I will always respond in kind. Your predecessors refused to learn this. But I think you're more sensible."
"I don't know what to say," she said. But her eyes drifted to the Headmaster's chair. "I suppose it would be nice to improve things around here. For the students, I mean."
"Provided it's within budget," Givens put in. "But we can discuss that later, miss Squelch. Taran, the Council and I had a very peppy discussion while we had our tea, and we'd like to make a more permanent peace offering. So that, in the future, we don't have any more, err… Misunderstandings?"
Inwardly, I groaned.
Paperwork.
He was talking about paperwork.
And forms.
"It's a magical contract, isn't it?"
"Why, yes," he said jovially. "You are correct. Although, we could make ourselves feel more important and refer to it as a Treaty."
"Ugh."
"Here," he waved a hand and a scroll blew out from the shadows to hover in front of me. Thankfully it was short. I had been dreading it being one of those scrolls which unrolled across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. "We've kept it brief. I think you just covered it for us. It discusses your visiting rights to the Guild, outlining where we can make reasonable concessions to your suggestions. Where you consider the Headmaster is deliberately blocking you, you may call a Council Meeting, and..."
He rambled on. His brain had switched to official mode. The tone of his voice bubbled in my ears. I turned out his drone so I wouldn't fall asleep.
I let my gaze drift through the simply-worded document and felt a calm sense of satisfaction.
Givens, despite sounding like a bureaucrat, knew me a little too well. Where many magical contracts attempt to disguise things in grey terms and blurry contradictions, everything was clearly laid out.
The Headmaster could also force a Council Meeting if we clashed.
The goal appeared to be to have the Council mediate. At least they'd take the blame.
I had to admit it was quite bold of him.
Wasn't he afraid I would punt the entire Council into the void?
Come to think of it, some seats were empty. I scratched my head.
Givens was trusting me a lot more than he probably should.
"Alright," I said, cutting him off. "It looks fine to me. I agree to live by these terms."
The contract glittered brightly as my words took hold.
A sliver of mana drifted from my body and into the contract. I could see the other Council Members had already done the same.
There was no way to forge the signing of the contract, as everyone's mana signature was different. It would hold. While mortal courts and local authorities would never be able to enforce it over me, the contract itself could limit my magical ability if I broke the agreement.
"Excellent," he said. "Enid? Could you please sign as new Headmaster?"
"I'm still not sure I want to do this…"
"You can be my servant instead, if you prefer," I said, making a show of thinking it through. "I could use someone to polish my boots."
And, although I hadn't been serious, I was a little offended at how quickly she thrust out her hand and slid her mana into the scroll.
"There," Givens said, summoning the scroll back to himself. I was still a bit put out that he was hiding in the shadows on his chair. All the Council Members were. It was, they'd told me once before, to preserve their anonymity. I didn't like it much. It reeked of theatrical melodrama. "That should stop future Headmasters from wanting to spend Guild funds on ridiculous countermeasures and unproven tokens. That should improve the budget somewhat. Right, Jarvin?"
"Sounds good to me. It will take years to recover from Henry."
"Oh, I'm sure Enid will have some stupendous ideas on how we can do it much faster," Givens chuckled.
Enid looked a bit sick before shooting me a scowl.
"Sorry," I said to her. "I don't think I thought that far ahead."
"Hmph," she grunted, stomping over to where the small grimoire had fallen from Henry's hands. She picked it up. Looked at it critically. Then gave it a pat. "I'm keeping this."
"I don't see why," I said. "It's mostly rubbish."
"Except for one thing," she said, a sly smile beginning to form. "With it, I could summon your sister."
That didn't sound like a good idea to me.
I frowned.
Enid had seen how Mary liked sugar.
And if Enid discovered how Mary felt about scones with cream and jam… I shuddered.
"I'd really rather you didn't."
She smiled in a way which reminded me of a wolverine who'd spotted a vole. "I know," she said. Then turned and sat down in the Headmaster's chair. "Now. I have your grievances, and I will address them by next Thorsday. Is there anything else you wished to raise, Mister Taran?"
"About my sister-"
"I'll take it into consideration," she said, tucking the grimoire into her coat. "I really will. Deep consideration. Careful consideration. Does she also like tea and biscuits?"
I stared at the old woman.
She stared back at me.
Both of us refusing to blink.
As the tension chilled and the air felt sharper than glass.
"I'll remember this," I said, tapping my temple with a scowl. Then, spun away with a hiss. "Pohz T'nutt Kh'lar It'ee."
A yawning portal opened in front of me, edged with bright purple light.
As I entered, I heard Enid's voice follow me.
"Thank you for visiting, Taran! Next time, do bring more of those biscuits, please. They were quite good."
As a gentleman, I don't swear at ladies. But I was very close to it.
Thankfully, the portal snapped shut behind me as though the Old Twit was equally shocked by her mockery. It was almost as though she'd followed me from the Forms Office just for the chance to get the Headmaster's job.
Almost as though she'd had one last duel with him which used me as her weapon.
I had an uncomfortable itch in my belly that was telling me I'd been played.
But that…
That was just me being paranoid. A side product of being in the void. My mental state was clearly affected by the soft twittering voices.
There was no way she'd been that clever.
Was there?
Grumbling to myself, I stepped out onto my front porch and reached for the door.
Only for it to sweep open and reveal Grimsby.
Because of course he'd know I was there.
"Do you have to be like that?" I snapped.
"I'm not sure what you mean, sir," he said. There wasn't enough smugness in his tone. There should have been an oily sense of superiority.
I paused mid-scowl.
"What is it?"
"The rooms, sir," he said. "They've been decorated as you requested."
"That's good, isn't it?"
"I hired the very best, sir. As you requested."
"Still… good?"
Grimsby stood before me like a statue. To an outsider, he was unflappable and unphased.
But, to me, I could see he was deeply distressed.
"I think you'd best see for yourself, sir…"
***
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