I stood in the doorway of Poppy's bedroom.
Her bed was neatly made and nothing looked out of the ordinary. The Interior Designer had selected a combination of bottle green and warm amber, no doubt inspired by her hair and eyes.
Her bed was overflowing with pillows. Soft rugs covered the floor, with plush cushions scattered about.
"I thought it best to ensure she doesn't hurt herself if she suddenly falls asleep, sir," Grimsby said as my eyes were caught by a particularly large cushion in the middle of the room.
"Good idea."
Clover's room was a shocking display of pink and cream. I wasn't sure that was anything to do with her hair, though. Her bed didn't have as many pillows, and she'd set up some shelves which she clearly hoped to fill with books.
The pink, though, hurt my eyes.
Shuddering, I turned to Violet's room which was much more sensible.
She'd chosen simplicity in wood and a wallpaper of patterned lilacs.
Otherwise, everything was neat, tidy, and exactly what I'd expect of her.
Everything looked perfect, and I was sure the girls were most happy with their new lodgings.
However, the magical array carefully hidden under rugs and behind the closets might bother them if they knew it was there.
Strings of necromantic runes swirled in the shadows, linked to each other by infinitesimally small threads of mana which shouldn't be noticeable even by a half-decent mage.
The only reason I knew they were there was I'd spent a few months learning Necromancy.
Not that I'd wanted to. But Grimsby being a lich meant someone had to be around to assist him when he needed it. And I didn't trust Necromancers anywhere near my butler, so it would have to be me.
I gave the necromantic array a final glare and shut the door.
It bothered me.
Really bothered me.
I'd only just got home from being irritated by the Mage Guild.
Now I was going to be infested with skeletons?
"What made them think you wouldn't see it?" I asked him.
"I'm not convinced the decorators were aware of what they were installing, sir," he said. "One of them knew exactly what I was and didn't seem too bothered by it. I would have thought they'd have reconsidered their actions once they saw me."
I nodded. So, someone had either stealthily added it to the furniture before arriving or had paid the decorators to look the other way.
Either way, it was most distressing.
This was my tower. My home. It was very peak of mookishness for someone to install a necromantic array inside another gentleman's home without his permission.
"You've set the ladies up in other rooms?"
"Of course, sir." He paused. "I told them that the fumes from the glue and paint needed two days to dissipate. I assumed you wouldn't want them to be worried?"
"Thank you, Grimsby."
Mortal, a voice purred in my head as a shadow detached from the wall to coalesce into the being called Noodle. Mortal, I hunger.
"Has Noodle eaten today?"
"I did put down some kibble, sir," Grimsby said. "He barely touched it."
Mortal, the void cat growled more heavily. I said, I hunger.
I sighed.
"I think I'm going to go for a walk," I told my butler. "I shan't be long."
"And Noodle, sir?"
The void cat squatted on his haunches, looking up at me with bright glowing purple eyes. Within those eyes burned the heat of a being whose sole purpose was the destruction of every living thing.
He flicked his tail and offered me a cold depthless gaze which would drive most people mad.
"I suppose I might as well take him with me and see if I can't find him something to eat."
"Very well, sir."
I want flesh, the void cat hissed in my mind. Sweet flesh. Rippling with fear. Juicy with blood.
"Yes, yes," I waved my hand at the cat dismissively. "Go and get your collar and you can come with me."
I do not want.
I bent down, peering into those burning eyes. "I don't care. Get your collar, or stay home."
I will destroy you.
"Collar."
I will devour your soul and claw the flesh from your bones!
"What's it to be?"
The void cat held my gaze.
Then looked down at his paws.
With a flurry of noise which sounded like a hundred bats flapping their wings, the creature exploded back into shadow and swept away with a hiss.
"Are you sure that's the right tone to have with it, sir?"
"Yes," I said firmly. Today I would accept no more silliness. "It is exactly the right tone. He's too spoilt. Far too spoilt. And he's getting fat."
"I'll cut down on the kibble."
"Good idea."
Take my snacks, and I'll take everything you love and reduce it to ash, Noodle snarled, crawling out of the ground like a wretched zombie rising from the grave.
In his mouth, he carried a little collar with a small brass bell on it. The tentacles on his back flicked irritably.
I bent down and took the collar before gently wrapping it around his neck.
"It's for your own good," I told him. "I've told you that before."
I don't like it. It itches.
Once the collar was in place, I gave him a small pat on the head. "There. It's only while we're outside."
The void cat gave a sulky shake of his head and eyed me sourly. One day, I will make you wear a collar for a thousand years.
"Sure." I got to my feet, looking down at my tweed. "Maybe I ought to change first."
"Did the Headmaster enjoy seeing the Wibbly, sir?"
"I forgot to ask," I told him, scratching my head in disappointment as I headed to my room. "But he didn't look very happy to see me."
"That's a shame, sir." He clicked his tongue. "Will sir be seeing the Headmaster again?"
"No," I said. "Unfortunately, the Headmaster decided to witness the more efficient bureaucracy as practiced by the void."
"Then does sir wish to keep the Wibbly Tweed, or shall I dispose of it?"
I glanced down at it. I had sort of grown fond of it over the last year.
But now the Headmaster was dead, I couldn't see any reason to wear it.
"Might as well get rid of it," I said. "Maybe it's time to visit my Tailor."
"I shall book an appointment, sir," he said, sounding pleased. "There's some very interesting new fashions this year which I do believe would suit sir rather well."
Noodle trotted beside me, the little bell tinkling as he walked.
"Hmm." I entered my room, shrugging off my coat and handing it to Grimsby. "Could you also see if anyone's making custom collars? Noodle says his itches his neck. Perhaps we can get him something more befitting for the Destroyer of Worlds."
"Very good, sir. I will make enquiries."
The cat glanced at me with a surprised glint in its eyes as I took off my shirt.
Perhaps I will kill you swiftly instead of slowly, mortal, he said grudgingly.
"That's very kind of you."
Suddenly, the door burst open and three girls rushed into the room.
"Taran!" Clover cried.
Their eyes widened as they caught sight of my bare chest.
Poppy let out a small squeak and promptly fell asleep. Clover dived for her, and tripped over her feet. Violet's knees clapped together with an awkward click as she gasped in shock.
Half a blink later, Poppy was in Grimsby's left arm, while Clover was balancing on his right.
"Thank you, Grimsby," Clover blushed, flailing to keep her balance as she stumbled upright. "I think I'm okay now."
"We're sorry!" Violet cried, turning her gaze away from me. "We heard you were back. We didn't know you were getting changed!"
"Hmm?" I looked down. I still had my pants on. That much was a relief. "Oh. It's fine. Grimsby told me your rooms are ready."
"I can't believe they did it so fast," she said, still avoiding looking at me while Grimsby hoisted Poppy gently.
"Yes, well. I asked Grimsby to get someone who could do everything quickly."
"Thank you, Taran," Clover said, grinning broadly as she stared at me. "It's real nice of you."
"You're welcome," I said.
"You have nice-" Clover started to say, but Violet clapped a hand over her mouth.
"Trousers," Violet finished for her. "She was about to say trousers. We'll leave you to it. Sorry, again."
I watched, a little bemused, as Violet dragged Clover away. Clover gave me a happy wave, her parting words muffled by her sister's hand. I smiled and waved back just as the door was closed.
Noodle glanced up at me.
Shook his head.
They're very strange, mortal.
"Yes," I said, feeling a warm bulge in my pocket. Poor Violet would be blushing very brightly right now, I assumed. "Yes, they are."
I hunger.
"I know," I said, noticing that Grimsby had somehow laid out another suit on my bed.
When had he done that?
How had he done that? I scowled at it.
"Blasted man."
Mortal, the smell gets stronger. Death is close.
"Yes, yes," I sighed, snatching up my new pants. "I'm hurrying."