Chapter 1: The Last Laugh, The First Glitch
The last thing Adam Stiels saw was the pixelated face of a particularly smug demon on his laptop screen, right before a rogue piece of popcorn, launched with the precision of a heat-seeking missile from his own mouth, decided his windpipe was its new, exclusive VIP lounge. "Seriously?" he thought, a desperate gurgle escaping his lips. "This is how it ends? Not saving the world from a supervillain, not a dramatic sacrifice, but a rogue kernel of corn? My life is a bad sitcom, and this is the season finale with the worst cliffhanger ever." His vision blurred, the demon on screen seemed to wink, and then… darkness. Not the peaceful, serene kind, but the kind that felt like someone had just unplugged the universe.
Then came the static. Not just visual static, but a full-body, brain-rattling, sensory overload of pure, unadulterated noise. It was like every single pop culture reference he'd ever consumed was being force-fed into his brain at hyperspeed, mixed with the sound of a thousand dial-up modems having a rave. He felt stretched, pulled, compressed, and then, with a jarring thump, he landed. Hard.
A groan escaped him, tasting faintly of stale alleyway and existential dread. His eyes snapped open, and the first thing he registered was a dumpster. A very, very real, very smelly dumpster. "Okay, this isn't my apartment," he mumbled, pushing himself up. The alley was grimy, narrow, and distinctly not the familiar, slightly sticky carpet of his living room. The air tasted… crisp. And vaguely of desperation and burnt coffee.
Then, the world decided to get even weirder. A shimmering, translucent blue interface materialized directly in his line of sight, like a poorly rendered video game HUD. It was overlaid on reality, yet somehow, he could see through it, past it, and into it, all at once.
[SYSTEM ALERT: Transmigration Complete. Host Body Integrated. Welcome, Adam Stiels.]
Adam blinked. Once. Twice. He pinched himself. Hard. "Ow. Definitely not a dream. Unless this is one of those Inception-level dreams, and I'm about to wake up in a dream within a dream, and then I'll really be annoyed."
[SYSTEM OVERVIEW: Abra Kadabra's Nanotech System Active. Abilities powered by advanced, internalized nanotechnology. Progression via Achievement Unlocks.]
"Abra Kadabra?" Adam's mind, despite the lingering confusion, latched onto the name. "Like, the Flash villain? The one with the future tech that looks like magic? Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. Did I just get zapped into the Arrowverse by a cosmic prankster with a penchant for 64th-century tech?" A nervous laugh bubbled up, quickly morphing into a slightly hysterical giggle. "This is either the best thing that's ever happened to me, or the universe's most elaborate way of telling me to get a life. Probably both."
He tried to take a step, his legs feeling like jelly, and stumbled. In a flash of blue light, he found himself three feet to his left, face-to-face with a particularly aggressive-looking rat. The rat, equally startled, squeaked and vanished into a crack in the wall.
[SYSTEM: Initial Abilities Granted: Teleportation ("Disappearing Act"), Illusions & Holograms ("Smoke & Mirrors").]
Adam stared at the empty space where the rat had been. "Well, that explains the sudden change of scenery. And the rat's existential crisis. Sorry, buddy. First time for everything, I guess." He tried again, focusing, picturing the space a few feet ahead. Poof. He was there. Then, just for kicks, he imagined a giant, glowing rubber duck floating above the dumpster. Shimmer. A massive, yellow, smiling duck, complete with tiny, holographic bubbles, materialized above the overflowing bins.
A woman walking her dog down the street screamed, the dog barked hysterically, and both promptly turned and fled in the opposite direction.
Adam winced. "Okay, maybe not the most subtle entrance. But points for dramatic flair, right?" He dispelled the duck.
[SYSTEM: Energy Reserves at 100%.]
[SYSTEM: Warning: External data streams detected. Local universe properties: Earth-38 (Prime Earth designation pending).]
"Earth-38? Prime Earth designation pending? Oh, you beautiful, confusing System, you just confirmed it," Adam thought, a grin spreading across his face. "I'm in the Arrowverse. National City, specifically. Which means… Supergirl. Kara Danvers. Oh, this is going to be so much more interesting than my old life. No more choking on popcorn, only choking on the sheer audacity of my own existence."
He ran a hand through his hair, which probably looked like a bird's nest after his unscheduled dimensional shift. "Right. New life, new me. Or, well, same me, but with superpowers and a sentient operating system. I'm still quick-witted, still sarcastic, still obsessed with pop culture. But now, I can actually do something about it. No more just yelling at the TV. Now I can yell at the villains… and then maybe teleport their pants off." The thought made him chuckle.
He looked around the alley, a new sense of purpose settling in. "Okay, Adam Stiels. You're in the big leagues now. Time to figure out how to be a chaotic good force of nature. First order of business: find a decent coffee shop. Then, maybe, just maybe, save the world. Or at least make it a lot funnier." He took a deep breath, the scent of garbage surprisingly invigorating. "Let the games begin."