How long has it been now? A few hours, a day, years? I started counting the seconds, wanting to keep my sanity like the MCs in the Webnovels I've read, but gave up 43 seconds in because fuck that. Plus, TikTok cooked my attention span years ago. Weirdly enough, despite the fact that it feels like I've been here for centuries and at the same time only seconds, I've retained my sanity. Completely.
I've just been reminiscing about my life, thinking about all the things I've done and not done. All the girls I fucked and didn't. Just waiting for my ROB to show up. After all, that's what's supposed to happen when Truck-kun pays you a visit on your way back from work—right after a fucking promotion from your 100k-a-year job, right? Sigh. And I just bought my house too. Oh well, fuck that mortgage anyway.
Just as I started complaining to myself again for god knows how many times, a bright light shows up beside me and starts sucking me in. Next thing I know, the most beautiful woman I've ever pictured in my head is cooing me in her arms. There are beautiful flowers in her hair. When she started speaking—oh my god—it sounded like I was floating toward the gates of heaven.
"My beautiful baby boy, my angel. Oh, how perfect you look."
"I'm your mother, Gaia."
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Yes, that's right—Gaia, as in the Gaia. The Mother. The mother of pretty much all the pantheons on the planet. When I first heard it, I doubted, of course. Despite how beautiful and perfect she looked—and the flowers that seemed to come straight from the hidden river at the peak of Mount Hua, where the first ancestor took his last breath and infused the ground with the remaining chi in his dantian after achieving enlightenment and ascending to the celestial realm—still I thought she could just be named after the mother of Chronos herself.
But as soon as tree roots and flowers came together to form my crib, I knew I was in for a different type of ride in this new life.
About three months after my birth, I resolved myself to it. I was definitely not on the same Earth I originated from, nor was I a normal child at all. Well, as far as normal children go.
First thing I noticed is that Gaia really loves—like REALLY loves. Pretty much obsessively. She takes me everywhere and does everything for me, despite the fact that there are countless spirits everywhere, ready to live and die for her at any moment if she even so much as thinks it. And they'll do it with the most joyous smiles on their faces.
Secondly, I'm definitely not human. At least not the regular type of human I remember. Why, you may ask? Well, if the fact that I look like a three-year-old toddler at the ripe age of three months doesn't sell you on it, then me being able to breathe underwater surely should.
You can imagine the panic that settled into my soul when Gaia first carried me into the water. It took me a whole two minutes to calm down and realize that I was actually breathing. How that worked without fins? Only ROB knows.
Life as a demigod is amazing. Yes, DEMIGOD—that's what I am. Mother says I'm actually at the highest levels of demigods. Apparently, there are levels to this shit. The way she explained it was that the child of a god and a mortal will have less purity of divine energy than the child of a god and a demigod. And divine energy is what makes gods and demigods what they are.
It's like mana, but at the next level. Whereas magicians and wizards use mana either from within (in the case of the homomagi—humans blessed by Hecate, the daughter of the primordial Nyx and elder goddess of magic) or borrowed from outside to alter the laws of reality and manifest things like fireballs, those with divine energy can completely ignore the laws and bring into existence what is commonly referred to as miracles.
Of course, the amount and purity of the divine energy determine the strength and duration of said miracles.
Take me for example. My mother Gaia—a primordial, who has the greatest level of divinity second only to Lady Divine, one of the Endless siblings—used her divinity to give birth to me without a father. Hence, a miracle.
That's just one of the many things Mother has taught me so far in my short life. Despite the fact that I'm only three months old, I seem to be much, much smarter than normal. Perks of being a demigod.
Time skip: 10 years later.
It's now been 10 years since my birth, and I look like I'm 18. Demigod perks. I've also never left our cave. Home is a cave—a giant cave full of plants and trees and dryads and mermaids and spirits and all sorts of animals. And despite the fact that I've never set a foot outside, I've never been bored. Probably because I can talk to animals and spirits and stuff. And trust me, there's gossip.
I learned from the dryads, who can communicate with trees, that I'm in the year 1717. So right now, it's the peak era of European colonial expansion, with major powers like Britain, France, and Spain establishing vast global empires and engaging in trade and conflict across continents.
And according to them, there are Amazons on Themyscira, Atlantis in the ocean, and a magician going around calling himself a Lord of Order, fighting demons all over the place. And unless you're an idiot, you can quickly figure out that I'm in the DC universe.
So as soon as I found out, I started grinding like a bitch. I've been having Mother tell me all she can about the universe and teach me magic. And I've been having some of the spirits with solid humanoid forms teach me martial arts and weapons arts—swords, spears, axes, etc.
Which brings me to right now.
"Swinging a spear is not just about your arms. You must use your whole body. Let the energy from the step before the swing travel from feet to spear."
Soon after he said that, he used the non-bladed part of his spear to redirect mine to his right, proceeding to knee my now open right torso with his left knee.
"You must always expect your enemy to block or evade and counter your attack."
"Yes, Uncle Veeriun."
And so for my next attack, after rolling to the left using the momentum of the knee he'd just given me to avoid his downward strike, I tried a feint by thrusting my spear toward his abdomen, extending my right arm. Of course, he didn't fall for it, but I committed by turning my body sideways toward the spear, now holding it with both hands, pushing the blade toward his chin. I expected him to step backward to dodge so I could lunge forward and stab him in the face.
And just as I predicted, he stepped backward, only to simultaneously grab the shaft of my spear and pull me toward him, where the sole of his right foot met my abdomen with a Spartan kick.
"Better but I said anticipate, not overthink. Your mind must be one step ahead of the next move while at the same time present in the current one, Ouranios."
Whatever the fuck does that even means.
"Yes, Uncle," I groaned out, lying on the floor, feeling like I was slowly losing HP.
"Why do I feel like I'm still taking damage even after the attack?"
"That, my boy Ouranios, is because that kick was infused with spiritual energy. By infusing an attack with spirit energy—the energy produced by the combination of soul energy and willpower—you can cause damage not only to the body but also to the connection between the body and the soul where you hit. It's particularly effective against those with high physical defense and in prolonged fights. You will start learning that tomorrow."
"All right, that's enough for today, Veeriun."
"Yes, my lady."
"My love, go wash up and come have lunch. Today we continue with Magical Draughts and Potions."
As she said that, plants came alive from beneath the hard rock floor and lifted me up while healing me at the same time.
Man, I love my mom.