Lying down on the hospital bed, looking outside at the drizzling rain, I kept on wondering what exactly it is I have lived my life for, whether I have actually been happy at all. I don't know much but I know that I'm an expert at escaping reality…
"Mrs Laurent… Mrs Laurent", the doctor called.
I was far into my world to realize I was being called… "tap, tap, tap" I turned. Good morning Theo, I don't know why but the over friendly doctor had insisted I call him Theo instead of "doctor Theo".
"You have come for your routine check up i guess"? i asked rhetorically
"Mrs Laurent, how do you feel today", Theo asked while checking my IV
I flashed back to how it all started, I married my long time senior in college, to me, he was like a savior. Looking at him made me forget my troubles, the fact that I was an orphan and everything. I can remember how seeing him made me so shy until one day I walked up to him after the lecture and blurted out "I like you, can I be your girlfriend"... He looked at me for a few seconds and those seconds seemed like a lifetime until I heard "sure". So that's how we started dating till we graduated and we got married. I can still remember when I bought the ring and proposed to him and after a few seconds…
"Sure", I heard. Thinking about it still brings a smile to my face. He loves me.
"Mrs, Laurent" Theo called again
" Oh, I'm fine doctor". "What about your husband? You said he would the day before yesterday and yesterday, are you going to say the same thing again today?" Theo asked, "is he that busy with work?"
I sat, gaping at the doctor. The truth is that Draven didn't have a job, I was the breadwinner of a Family of four…don't get me wrong, I don't have children yet, by four, I meant Draven, his mother and sister. Draven was sacked after two years of our marriage and since then he plays game at home all day, claiming he will find a job, without even making an effort to go out and look for one. We've been married for five years by the way.
"You urgently need surgery, Mrs. Laurent. Your system is gradually getting immune to the medicine you are taking and once the bleeding starts again, I'm afraid… We won't be able to control it anymore". I have heard this from Theo for two months now that I can accurately quote his exact words.
"He will come today". was all I could say.
After a long pause…
"Ok, Mrs Laurent, we need him to give us permission to commence surgery as soon as possible. Meanwhile, have a good day".He said, all the while smiling so much that I was afraid his cheeks might actually burst out.
"Thank you, doctor"… He smiled again and gave me that look that screamed "Theo!" before he left.
"Draven must be busy right? , seeing that he hasn't visited once for 2 months since I got admitted. What about my mother - in-law and sister? Same thing right?", I thought.
I picked up my phone and dialed Draven's number, after a long ring, he picked "hey, babe.I'm so sorry, have been so busy, i promise i will come today to sign the document.
"Okay babe", I said. Hope you are not stressing yourself? No babe, he said. "Please come today, I miss you"...
"MmmmMmmm," he murmured, and ended the call.
......
Later that evening, Darven came and signed the document and i was booked for surgery the next day. He left without seeing me only to call me that he has something urgent to attend, I seriously began to wonder what it is that is so urgent than his wife about to have surgery. But he must have his reasons right?
The next day, as i was being carried into the theatre i asked the nurses to stop
"Can you wait a little? My Family will be here, i want to see them before entering the theater", i begged
"Ok ma'am", she answered
tick tock, the time crawled slowly as i waited for Darven. "He is supposed to be here, where was he? Did he forget? No, i doubt, he wouldn't forget, he just signed the document just yesterday", i allowed my thought to wander until i heard
"Sorry ma'am, but we have to go now", said the nurse"
"Ok". Was all i could say.
I opened my eyes, everywhere was blurry. "where was I?" it all came back… I had surgery and my husband hadn't come, "how long was i in coma?
"Can you see me Mrs Laurent?" blink twice if you can…i blinked. Good! , now try gripping my finger… good, you are doing well Mrs Laurent", Theo commended.
"How long have I been out for Theo?", i asked
"Two days", he answered
"Did… Did", i hesitated... "Did my husband come?" I asked, but at the same time afraid of his reply.
"Ummm not yet, but I am sure he will. Meanwhile, we will check on your recovery progress later in the day… Have a speedy recovery" said Theo before leaving.
As the machines beeped near her, she realized she was all alone, had she been abandoned long before her body did?.
***
Few days later after her discharge has been processed, she stepped out of the hospital breathing in the fresh air and flagged down a taxi.
"No. 23, Haven court please", i said while entering the taxi.
"Ok madam", the taxi driver replied.
It was a silent drive, I kept on having a weird and stuffy feeling. The taxi pulled to a stop and i paid and stepped out. For a while, I stood looking at the gate of what I called home, wondering if I would find my busy husband or in-laws there, hoping for reconciliation and normalcy.
I opened the gate and walked in. The key barely touched the lock… "something is wrong" I thought I knew every corner of my home but today I was greeted by something foreign. I opened the already opened door and was greeted by a laugh too bright. A laughter that wasn't meant for me. In the dim of our bedroom, I saw Darven only that he wasn't alone, his hands were wrapped around another. My chest tightened, my world spun and everything I believed in shattered in a heartbeat.
I suffered for this marriage, worked extra hours to put food on the table, came back to do the cooking and chores all the while enduring insults from his mother and sister… Why was I diagnosed with IBS in the first place? I was so stressed that I began to experience pains I tried to hide.
***
The pain was too much, I opened the fridge, took a bottle of water which I gulped to flush the pain down, and looked at the sofa, Darven was lying there smiling at his phone.
"Darven… Darven", i called
"huh"?, he answered without looking at me.
" I have been experiencing some stomach pain for a while now", i said cause i couldn't hide it anymore
"Oh, really? Don't worry it's not serious, it's just stress, you worry too much, you are strong so you will be fine", was all he said all the while smiling at his phone.
It was only until I started vomiting blood that I went for a diagnosis. I can still remember the doctor's words "This didn't happen overnight, your body has been begging you to stop"
***
And what! "is Darven seriously cheating on me???
He wasn't mine alone. Not anymore. It was there and then I truly understood the truth of my loneliness.