The Ghibli dream is dead, Soum. The moment Josuke Higashikata sensed a slight against his hair, the watercolor paint began to peel off the walls like cheap wallpaper. The orchestral piano music glitched, turned into a heavy synth-bass line, and then exploded into neon sparks.
The lush forest of the Ghibli world didn't just fade; it was deleted. One second, Deadpool was holding a dandelion; the next, he was holding a glowing neon tube that flickered with a "LOW DATA" warning.
"Ugh, my eyes!" Deadpool screamed, shielding his face. "We just went from a peaceful afternoon nap to a 2 AM rave in a basement! Soum, check the settings! Everything is glowing, everyone is wearing leather, and I think I have a cybernetic eye now!"
Indeed, the mall had transformed into a Cyberpunk: Edgerunners nightmare. The escalators were now high-speed magnetic rails, and the food court was selling "Synthetic Soy-Ramen" for 5,000 Credits.
The Hair-Trigger Temper
Josuke Higashikata stood in the center of the "Cyber-Court," his pompadour glowing with pink neon light.
"I'll ask one more time," Josuke hissed, his Stand, Crazy Diamond, flickering behind him like a glitchy hologram. "Who said my hair looks like a paintbrush that ran out of ink?!"
Saitama looked up from a bowl of glowing blue noodles. "I didn't say it. But now that you mention it, it does look a bit like a burnt baguette."
The silence that followed was so heavy it crashed the mall's server.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY HAIR?!" Josuke roared.
The Chrome-Up
Before Josuke could launch a punch that would rewrite Saitama's DNA, Deadpool slid between them on a pair of rocket-powered rollerblades he'd just found in a trash can.
"Wait, wait, wait! Don't fight the bald guy!" Deadpool yelled, his voice now filtered through a robotic vocoder. "Look at the corner, Josuke! We've got bigger problems!"
Standing on a balcony overlooking the food court was David Martinez and Rebecca (Edgerunners). Rebecca was currently dual-wielding shotguns that were larger than her entire body.
"Hey! Who are you colorful losers?!" Rebecca shouted, firing a blast into the ceiling just for the aesthetic. "This is our turf! If you don't have at least 40% chrome in your body, you're just scrap metal!"
"I have a heart made of chainsaws," Denji volunteered, raising his hand. "Does that count as chrome?"
"Close enough!" Rebecca laughed. "But the bald guy? He looks like a thumb. A very shiny, un-augmented thumb."
The Sandevistan Shuffle
"I'm getting bored," Saitama sighed. "Can we just go back to the normal mall? I still haven't found a bathroom that isn't digital."
"You want a bathroom?!" David Martinez smirked. He tapped the back of his neck. "Catch me first."
David activated his Sandevistan. To everyone else, David became a yellow blur, moving so fast that he left "after-images" behind him. He zipped around Saitama, preparing to deliver a thousand cyber-punches.
"Whoa!" Goku cheered, his eyes tracking the blur. "He's fast! Not 'Instant Transmission' fast, but he's definitely got some zip!"
Saitama didn't even turn his head. He just reached out a hand and grabbed David by the collar mid-dash.
The physics of the Cyberpunk world screamed in agony. David's after-images slammed into his back like a car crash.
"How... how are you moving in my time-frame?" David gasped, his chrome clicking in protest.
"I just moved my hand," Saitama said. "You were running into it. It was actually very convenient."
Deadpool's Cyber-Heist
While Saitama was accidentally breaking the speed of light, Deadpool was busy at a terminal labeled "ADMIN ACCESS."
"Okay, Soum, listen," Deadpool whispered to the camera. "We've been through Ghibli, CGI, and now Cyberpunk. If we keep this up, we're going to hit the 'Stick Figure' dimension by Chapter 25. I'm hacking the mall's reality-core!"
Deadpool's fingers blurred across the keyboard. "Let's see... Delete 'Edgy Lighting'... Enable 'Classic Battle Shonen'... and let's add a little bit of... Gintama?"
"NO, WAIT!" Gintoki Sakata yelled, appearing out of thin air with a wooden sword and a strawberry milk. "Don't add us! Our show is already cancelled! We don't have the budget to be in a 200-chapter fanfic! We can barely afford the rent for our own dialogue boxes!"
"Too late, Gin-chan!" Deadpool cackled, hitting the 'Enter' key.
The neon lights flickered out. The leather jackets disappeared. The mall suddenly smelled like cheap sake and unwashed kimonos.