Oscar Wilde once said:
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
Such motivating words hit me like a revelation. Mostly because it screamed, screw everyone, only I matter. Probably the last decent piece of literature I ever read in that life.
The camel's back broke that day in the hospital.
I sat all alone on the cold bed, counting tiles for the nth time that day. There were 444 total tiles, 14 cracked. I wasn't superstitious, but nothing about those numbers screamed good luck.
Next on my daily task was cursing everyone out loud , a daily ritual for the past six months , before I stared out the window, looking at the bird chirping with so much life.
I stared at them with 90 parts resentment and 10 parts despair.
I was jealous of them.
Yes, I was really jealous of "animals simply minding their damn business."
Probably because they looked free , something that I've always craved.
Then, like every day, only one thought arose in my heart:
"Alice, you dumb piece of trash, did you really waste your life on those ingrates?"
But regret was too late. The cancer had spread throughout my body. No strand of hair was left. My eyes were more hollow than a ghoul's in those medieval drawings.
In short: I looked like an alien.
It was 6:15, 25 December 2025, when I took my last breath.
Of course, I was hesitant to die like this.
I imagined my family celebrating Christmas. They would be exchanging gifts, smiles, hugs, and eating pork chops right now. Damn, I'm craving some now.
The mansion would be lit with lights and music. Since they like wasting money so much, they would be throwing a party.
And the star of today, like every damn day, would be that bitch. Everyone would be surrounding that ugly dwarf like shoe‑licking dogs they were. Ugh.
I hope one of them drops dead. Oh God, yes! Please, for my last wish make them drop dead. (bonus points if it's that bitch).
No! No! No! That would be letting them off too easy.
I hope the Christmas tree catches fire and burns the entire house down with all of them inside. Please let me catch a glimpse of their misery before finally meeting you.
Though my final wish was making sure that I would be getting dragged down instead of floating above, I still wished desperately.
I was losing my senses slowly but steadily.
Nurses shrieked at me to stay awake as they called for the doctor. Their voices drilled a hole in my skull. Probably more noise than I have heard for the last six months. I don't know if I was grateful or simply irritated.
"Alice!"
A voice too familiar. What is he doing here? Shouldn't he be celebrating Christmas with his moonlight?
I weakly turned my head and saw his panicked face. Strange, I have never seen him this panicked.
"Doctor! What's happening?! What's happening to my Alice?!"
My heart quivered. Only for a slight moment before it became numb again.
In my last moment, my calm eyes met his panicked eyes.
I realize I wanted something else as my last wish. God must be annoyed by my last‑minute change of heart, but I hope He listens anyway.
I inhaled slowly. My hatred crystallizing slowly.
He plopped down in front of my bed as tears started streaming down his face.
My eyes closed. My chest hurt as the reality, that I thought I had accepted long ago, settled in once again. I loved the wrong person.
"Alice… hic hic… I'm sorry."
Let this moment burn itself into his memory.
"I… I made a mistake. I'm so sorry, my heart!"
Let me haunt him.
"Please… hic hic… please don't leave me."
Let me be the shadow he never escapes.
I want his nights restless. His days bitterer than medicine. His happiness ruined the way he ruined me.I hope every breath he takes tightens the guilt around his throat.
"I wish to become your greatest torment, Alexander White."
My last words probably shocked his core. He stared at me with widened eyes. Tears and snot slowly dripping from his face as his lips quivered in anguish. His tie was loosely hanging from his neck, the top buttons of his shirt unbuttoned. It was definitely strange for a neat freak like him.
His entire body shook as he raised his hand to touch me.
But before that, the world went silent.
Everything was supposed to end that day.
But,
Gasp,
I suddenly jolted up from the bed, my throat hurting from excruciating pain as my vision finally focused. Painful tears escaped from my eyes as I looked around.
"...….?"
Why the hell am I back here?
The last time I was in this room, I trashed it into an unrecognizable dump. Best moment of my life. No regrets. But why was I back here?
Did those dipshits drag me back?
But I'm sure they made it obvious that they won't care even if I die outside.
Did they finally find God? No, that's too unrealistic.
I looked at my hands. They were too warm, devoid of the pale spots that were formed by continuous drips and injections.
"Huh… what happe-? …No… NO WAY IN HELL?!"
I shot up from my bed and stumbled towards the mirror.
Standing there was… me. A younger me. With long brown hair, almond eyes, and healthy complexion. My fingers, trembling, touched my skin as tears started rolling down.
Something happened that I hadn't even dared to dream. That wish was buried deep inside my heart, and now it was finally fulfilled.
My hair was back! Yipee!
And then, to my horror, Another realization hit, my eyes widening in shock:
"I've really travelled back in time."
[Bzzzz… bzzz…]
"............?"
[Bzz…Connecting… Connected!]
WHOOSH—!!
A violent gust blasted through my room, knocking me straight into the wardrobe. I blinked rapidly, trying to understand what had just shattered my window and rolled onto my carpet.
It was… a rat.
A literal rat.
The tiny furball shook itself dramatically, then scanned the room. Our eyes met. Its mouth stretched into a disturbingly human smile.
"Oi! Oi! I finally found you, my beautiful Host!" it squeaked, flying toward me.
Tell me what would you do if a fricking rat start flying towards you?
Without hesitation, I grabbed a perfume bottle from my vanity and yeeted it towards the creature. It slammed into the bottle and sent careening into the wall. Its little limbs twitched like it was about to die.
I stared at it, horrified.
Did God send a rat to punish me for making too many deathbed wishes?
The creature staggered up like a zombie rat from a low-budget horror film. Panic took over. I grabbed another perfume bottle and launched it like a grenade.
"WAIT! WAIT! Host! OUCH!! NO NOT THE BIG ONE!Let me expla— ARGH!"
I continued shooting what I could find on my vanity.
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
I tried to roll away as the creature came closer and closer towards me.
SLAP-
I froze.
Turns out a rat's slap hurts like hell.
"Host, will you PLEASE listen?!" it screeched.
I covered the small reddened part of my face as tears pricked my eyes. I nodded like a victim in a hostage situation.
It sighed dramatically, levitated (again), then settled on my bed with dignity it did NOT deserve.
"Can you please stop doing that?'
"…..........?"
"Floating? It's… scary," I muttered.
The rat paused midair, blinked, then plopped down on my bed.
Get down from my bed, you little sewer waste.
It cleared its throat and squealed proudly, waving its hand in all direction,
"Congratulations Host! I, the mighty King of Rats, have been chosen to be your system!"
".........?"
Seeing my dumbfounded face, it puffed its tiny chest.
"I shall guide you to victory in this melodramatic setting! Together we'll defeat the vile villain Alice Lockwood and claim the Lockwood fortune! But beware, she is cruel! Venomous! A witch with no heart! But together, we'll destroy her ! While YOU, Jasmine Lockheart, will become the darling of high society! MWAHAHAHA!"
I stayed silent and stared at it. The rat misread my silence and continued:
"I know nothing makes sen-"
"I'm not Jasmine Lockheart." I cut it off.
The rat slowly turned toward me.
"Huh…? Then… who are you?"
The corner of my lips curled up. A smile bloomed on my face. No part of that smile looked innocent. The rat started shaking in his boots. Im sure it didn't took him more than 10 seconds to put two and two together. I chuckled slowly before walking towards the little creature. In response, it stepped further and further away from me.
When our faces were at close proximity, I mumbled softly:
"Why don't you take a guess~?"