The cherry blossoms were late this year.
I watched a stray pink petal drift past the classroom window, carried on a gentle spring breeze that did little to calm the frantic beating of my heart. It was the second week of the new school year, and the air still held the electric promise of new beginnings. For me, it held the sweet, terrifying scent of Saki's shampoo.
"Earth to Kaito! Hey, you in there?"
A hand clapped me on the back, jolting me from my thoughts. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. The voice, rich and laced with an easy-going confidence that I could never hope to emulate, belonged to only one person.
Ryo.
He slid into the seat next to me, his uniform jacket already slung casually over his shoulder despite the teacher's imminent arrival. His grin was a flash of perfect white teeth, a sunbeam in the slightly dusty, sun-warmed classroom.
"You were staring off into space with a pretty stupid look on your face," he chuckled, not unkindly. "Dreaming about your beloved again?"
My face heated up instantly. "Shut up, man."
"No need to be shy." Ryo's eyes, the color of warm amber, crinkled at the corners. "It's cute. Our little Kaito, all grown up and in love."
Our little Kaito. That's how he'd always seen me. The sidekick. The loyal friend. The shadow to his brilliant, blinding sun. And for most of our lives, I'd been perfectly content with that. Being Ryo's best friend was like having a backstage pass to life. He was the lead actor, and I was the stagehand who got to share in the applause by proxy.
"I was just… thinking about the math homework," I lied, fumbling with my textbook.
Ryo laughed, a sound that drew glances from the other students filtering into the room. "A likely story. I saw you two walking to school together. You looked pretty cozy."
We had. Saki had linked her arm with mine, her head leaning lightly on my shoulder as we navigated the crowded sidewalks. Her touch, even through the fabric of my gakuran, had sent jolts of electricity straight to my core. Every time she smiled up at me, with those big, doe-like brown eyes, I felt like the luckiest guy in the world.
How could someone like me end up with someone like her? Saki Tanaka was… well, she was Saki. She had a smile that could power a small city and a gentle kindness that made you want to be a better person just to be worthy of her attention. She was the class representative, for heaven's sake. Organized, responsible, sweet.
And she was dating me. Kaito Sato. Average height, average grades, average at best looks. The only remarkable thing about me was my proximity to Ryo Ishikawa.
Speaking of the devil, Ryo was now holding court, a small group of our classmates already gathered around his desk, hanging on his every word about the upcoming baseball tryouts. He was the star pitcher, of course. He had that natural, effortless athleticism that made everything he did look easy. I was on the team too, as a backup outfielder. I had to work for every catch, every decent hit. For Ryo, it was as natural as breathing.
The morning bell chimed, and our homeroom teacher, Ms. Fujimoto, swept into the room. The chatter died down immediately. Ms. Fujimoto was young for a teacher, probably in her late twenties, with sharp, intelligent eyes and a no-nonsense demeanor that commanded respect. But even she couldn't hide a slight, almost imperceptible softening of her expression when her gaze landed on Ryo.
"Good morning, class. Settle down. We have a lot to get through before the end of the period."
I tried to focus on her lecture about university preparation paths, but my eyes kept drifting to the back of Saki's head, two rows over. Her sleek, black hair cascaded down her back, and I found myself tracing its path with my eyes, remembering how soft it felt between my fingers.
My phone vibrated silently in my pocket. I discreetly slid it onto my lap.
Saki <3: This is so boring. Can't stop thinking about our walk this morning. <3
A goofy, uncontrollable grin spread across my face. I quickly typed back.
Me: Me neither. You looked really pretty today.
Saki <3: Only today? ;)
Me: Every day. Always.
I hit send, my heart doing a little flip. This was real. This was happening to me.
"Mr. Sato."
I flinched, nearly dropping my phone. The entire class was looking at me. Ms. Fujimoto stood at the front of the room, one eyebrow arched.
"I'm glad you find your future so amusing," she said dryly. "Perhaps you'd like to share with the class which prestigious university you're so confidently smiling about?"
A wave of heat rushed up my neck to my ears. "N-No, sensei. I'm sorry."
From the corner of my eye, I saw Ryo give me a subtle thumbs-up under his desk. A few people snickered. Saki glanced back, her expression a mix of sympathy and amusement.
"See me after class, Kaito," Ms. Fujimoto said, her tone leaving no room for argument before she turned back to the whiteboard.
I slumped in my seat. Great. Just great.
---
The lunch bell was a sweet release. As the classroom erupted into the familiar chaos of pulled-out bento boxes and rearranged desks, I gathered my courage to approach Ms. Fujimoto's desk.
"Don't worry, man," Ryo said, slinging an arm around my shoulder. "Fujimoto-sensei's a softie. She just likes to act tough. Buy her a coffee from the vending machine and she'll forgive you."
"Since when do you know what Fujimoto-sensei likes?" I asked, only half-joking.
Ryo just winked. "I make it my business to know these things. It's called social intelligence, my friend. Something you sorely lack." He gave me a playful shove towards the teacher's desk. "Go on, get it over with. I'll save you a seat."
I trudged up to the front, where Ms. Fujimoto was neatly organizing her papers. She didn't look up immediately, letting me stew in my anxiety for a moment.
"Kaito," she finally said, looking up. Her gaze was assessing, but not unkind. "Is everything alright? You've been… distracted lately."
"I'm fine, sensei," I said, my eyes fixed on a scuff mark on the floor. "I'm just… sorry. It won't happen again."
"It's not just today. Your last quiz score was lower than your average." She leaned forward slightly, lowering her voice. "This is a crucial year. You can't afford to let your focus slip. Not everyone has the natural gifts of someone like Ryo. The rest of us have to work for it."
There it was again. The Ryo Standard. The unspoken benchmark against which everyone else was measured.
"I know, sensei. I'll try harder."
She studied me for a long moment, and for a split second, I thought I saw something else in her eyes—a flicker of something that wasn't just teacherly concern. Pity, perhaps? "I know you will. You're a diligent boy. Just remember why you're here. Don't let… extracurricular activities… completely consume you."
My face flushed again. Did she know about Saki? Was it that obvious?
"I won't, sensei."
"Good. Now, go enjoy your lunch." She offered a small, rare smile. "And no more phones in class."
"Yes, sensei. Thank you, sensei."
I escaped to the hallway, feeling like I'd just run a marathon. As I made my way to the roof where we always ate lunch, I passed the vending machines. Remembering Ryo's words, I hesitated, then dug out some change and bought two canned coffees—one black and one latte. I didn't know how she took it, so I'd cover both bases.
I ducked back into the classroom, which was now mostly empty. Ms. Fujimoto was at her desk, sipping from a thermos. She looked up in surprise as I approached.
"I, uh, brought you this. As an apology," I mumbled, placing the two cans on her desk.
Her surprise melted into a genuine, warm smile. It transformed her face, making her look younger, almost girlish. "That's very thoughtful of you, Kaito. Thank you." She picked up the black coffee. "This one is perfect."
"How did you know?" I blurted out.
She just smiled enigmatically. "A good teacher knows her students. And it seems a good student is learning to know his teacher. Now, go on. Your friends are waiting."
I left the classroom, a strange mix of confusion and accomplishment swirling in my chest.
---
The school roof was bathed in brilliant afternoon sunlight. The chain-link fence was dotted with couples and groups of friends, all enjoying the brief respite from classes. I spotted Ryo immediately. He was like a magnetic pole; people naturally oriented themselves around him. He was surrounded by a few guys from the baseball team, laughing uproariously at something he'd said.
And there, sitting slightly to the side on the spread-out blanket, was Saki. She was talking animatedly with my sister, Maya.
The sight of them together sent another warm surge through me. Maya, a year younger than us, was a first-year at our high school. She was bubbly, energetic, and saw Ryo as the coolest big brother figure imaginable. She'd had a massive, blatant crush on him for years, which Ryo handled with a kind of amused, affectionate tolerance. The fact that she and Saki got along so well was another point on the long list of things that made my life feel impossibly, perfectly charmed.
"There he is! The man who faced the Fujimoto dragon and lived to tell the tale!" Ryo announced as I approached. The other guys clapped me on the back.
"What'd she do? Make you clean the boards?" one of them asked.
"Nah, he just had to look at her with those sad puppy-dog eyes and she let him go," another joked.
I just shrugged, smiling weakly. "It was nothing. Just a warning."
My eyes met Saki's, and she gave me a private, reassuring smile that was meant just for me. It was enough to make all the embarrassment vanish.
"Come sit, dummy," Maya said, patting the space between her and Saki. "You're blocking the sun."
I settled down, and Saki immediately leaned her head against my shoulder. The simple contact was enough to short-circuit my brain. I could smell the faint, sweet scent of her cherry blossom shampoo.
"You okay?" she whispered.
"I am now," I whispered back, and she giggled softly.
Ryo watched us with a fond expression. "You two are disgustingly sweet. It's enough to give a guy a cavity."
"Jealous, Ryo-nii?" Maya teased, using the honorific she'd adopted for him years ago.
"Of Kaito? Always," Ryo said with a dramatic sigh. "He's got the best girl in school, a awesome little sister, and he's got me as his best friend. The guy's got it all."
Everyone laughed. It was a perfect, comfortable moment. This was my world. My best friend, my girlfriend, my sister. All together under the spring sun. What could possibly be wrong?
"So, Saki," Ryo said, unpacking a ridiculously elaborate bento that looked like it had been prepared by a professional chef. "Are we still on for studying at the library after school? I'm completely lost in Classical Japanese."
My ears perked up. Saki was a genius in Classical Japanese.
"Of course!" Saki said, lifting her head from my shoulder. "I promised I'd help you, didn't I? We can meet at our usual spot."
Our usual spot? How many study sessions had they had?
"You're a lifesaver," Ryo said, flashing her that million-watt smile. "I'd be failing without you. Right, Kaito? You don't mind if I borrow your genius girlfriend for a few hours, do you?"
All eyes turned to me. Saki looked at me expectantly. Maya was grinning. The baseball guys were waiting for my response.
What could I say? No, I mind? Please don't spend alone time with my girlfriend? I'd sound like a possessive, insecure jerk. That wasn't the person I was. I trusted Saki. I trusted Ryo. They were the two most important people in my life.
"Yeah, of course not," I said, forcing a smile that felt a little too tight on my face. "Knock yourselves out."
"See? I told you he wouldn't mind," Ryo said to Saki, as if they'd discussed it beforehand.
Saki smiled, seemingly relieved. "We won't be long. I'll text you when we're done, okay, Kaito?"
"Sure," I said, my voice coming out a bit hoarse. I cleared my throat. "I've got baseball practice anyway."
The conversation moved on, but a tiny, cold knot had formed in the pit of my stomach. It was stupid. It was nothing. Ryo was my best friend. He was practically family. He was always borrowing my stuff—video games, notes, even my bike once. This was no different.
So why did it feel different?
---
Baseball practice was a welcome distraction. The physical exertion, the smell of cut grass and leather, the sharp crack of the bat—it all helped to push the irrational unease to the back of my mind. I even managed a solid line drive into left field, earning a nod of approval from the coach.
Ryo, of course, was phenomenal. His fastballs whistled as they crossed the plate, his control absolute. He was in his element, a king on his mound. During a water break, he jogged over to me, barely out of breath.
"Good hit out there, Kaito! You're getting better."
"Thanks," I said, taking a long swig from my water bottle. "Can't all be aces like you."
"Nah, the team needs reliable guys like you," he said, clapping me on the shoulder. His praise was genuine, and it warmed me, melting a bit of the cold knot. This was the Ryo I knew. The guy who always had my back. "Hey, listen, about studying with Saki… you're really cool with it, right? I don't want to step on any toes."
"Don't be stupid," I said, and this time my smile felt more natural. "It's just studying. I trust you guys."
The words felt right as I said them. I did trust them.
Ryo's grin returned, brighter than ever. "I knew you'd say that. You're the best, man. The absolute best." He looked at his phone. "Speaking of, she just texted. We're meeting in ten. I'm gonna hit the showers. See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, see you."
I watched him jog off towards the clubhouse, his form perfect even in his retreat. The unease was gone, replaced by a faint sense of shame for ever having felt it. I was lucky. I had to remember that.
---
I walked home alone, the setting sun casting long shadows ahead of me. The house was quiet when I arrived, the familiar scent of lemon polish and simmering dinner welcoming me.
"I'm home," I called out, toeing off my shoes in the genkan.
"Welcome back, sweetie!" My mom's voice floated from the kitchen. "How was practice?"
I wandered into the kitchen. My mother, Keiko Sato, was at the stove, stirring a pot of what smelled like curry. She was a beautiful woman, people said she looked more like my older sister than my mom. She had the same dark hair as Maya and me, but she carried herself with a gentle, graceful warmth that was all her own.
"It was good," I said, leaning against the doorway. "Ryo was a beast, as usual."
Mom's face lit up at the mention of his name. "Oh, that boy! He's just so wonderful, isn't he? Such a hard worker. You're so lucky to have a friend like him, Kaito."
There it was again. The Ryo Praise. It was a constant refrain in our house.
"I know, Mom."
"Is he coming over for dinner this week? I'm making tonkatsu on Friday. It's his favorite."
"I'll ask him," I said, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl.
"Please do. He's such a pleasure to have around. He always helps with the dishes and tells the most interesting stories. He really livened things up the other night when your father was away on business."
I paused, the apple halfway to my mouth. "The other night? When was he here?"
"Oh, just a few days ago," she said, not turning from the stove. "He stopped by to borrow that textbook you'd promised him. You'd already gone to bed, poor thing, you were so tired. We ended up talking for almost an hour. He's so mature for his age. Really, just a lovely young man."
A tiny, almost imperceptible shiver traced a path down my spine. Ryo had come over? After I'd gone to bed? And he'd stayed for an hour talking to my mom? It was… unusual. But again, it was Ryo. He was charming. He could charm the birds from the trees. Of course my mom adored him. Everyone's mom adored him.
It meant nothing.
"Yeah," I said finally, taking a bite of the apple. The sweet crunch was comforting. "He's great."
I went upstairs to my room, the conversation with my mom adding another small, almost invisible hairline fracture to the perfect crystal of my day. I tossed my bag onto the floor and collapsed at my desk, booting up my computer. I needed to lose myself in a game, to stop overthinking everything.
An hour later, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Saki.
Saki <3: Study session was a success! I think Ryo finally understands the difference between auxiliary verbs. :) I'm beat, heading to bed. Sweet dreams, Kaito. <3
I smiled, reading the message over twice. This was the reality. This was what mattered. Saki loved me. Ryo was my best friend. My family was happy.
Me: Glad to hear it. Get some rest. Sweet dreams, Saki.
I put my phone down, the screen going dark. I looked at my reflection in the black mirror of the monitor. Just an average boy in an average room.
The cherry blossom outside my window, illuminated by the streetlamp below, finally let go of its branch and drifted silently into the darkness. I watched it until it disappeared from view.
Everything was perfect.
So why did I have this lingering, cold feeling that I was standing on the edge of a precipice, waiting for a push that was yet to come?