Spade Kingdom Castle - The Royal Cellar
Time: 30 Minutes Post-Victory
"This is looting," Saitama said, holding a bottle of wine that probably cost more than his apartment building. "Is this hero behavior?"
Yami Sukehiro leaned against a wine rack, bandages wrapped around his chest, smoking a fresh cigarette.
"It's not looting," Yami exhaled smoke. "It's 'Civil Asset Forfeiture.' We beat the bad guys. Their juice is our juice. Besides, you saved the castle foundation. Technically, you own the building."
Saitama looked at the dusty bottle. Label: Essence of Frozen Grape, Year 500.
"I prefer soda," Saitama said, putting it back. "Do they have orange juice?"
"Top shelf, back left," Yami pointed. "Zenon had a sweet tooth. Kept a stash."
Saitama found it. A glowing bottle of Spade Orange Nectar.
"Nice."
They sat on the cold stone floor of the cellar. The war was over. The yelling upstairs (Asta and Mereoleona arguing about who killed more devils) was muffled.
"You held my katana," Yami said quietly.
"Yeah." Saitama looked at his hand. "It's heavy. The balance is weird. I used it like a club."
"That sword chose you, Baldy. For a bit, anyway." Yami grinned. "You have zero mana, but your Ki... it's louder than anyone's. It's blinding."
"I don't know what Ki is," Saitama popped the cork on the orange juice. "I just swing stuff."
Yami laughed. A real, tired laugh.
"Cheers to swinging stuff."
The Return Trip
Getting home was easier. Finral had rested, drank a potion, and—motivated by the terror of being left in the Spade Kingdom—opened a stable portal directly to the Clover Capital.
One by one, the raid team stepped through.
The Royal Capital plaza was waiting.
When Asta stepped out, carrying the unconscious but alive Captain Vangeance, the crowd erupted.
When Yami stepped out, supported by Finral, the Black Bulls cheered.
When Saitama stepped out...
Silence.
Then, a small kid in the front row waved.
"IT'S THE CAPE GUY!" the kid yelled. "HE PUNCHED THE SKY!"
"YEAH!" another commoner shouted. "HE SHUSHED THE DEVIL!"
Applause started. It wasn't the polite applause for royals. It was the rowdy, stomping applause for a folk hero.
"The Shushing Hero!" someone screamed. "Silent-ama!"
Saitama stopped. He looked at Genos.
"Silent-ama?" Saitama frowned. "That sounds like a brand of sleep medication."
"I shall register the trademark immediately, Master," Genos said, holding a stack of Spade Kingdom hard drives he had 'liberated'. "Merchandise opportunities are high."
King Augustus Kira Clover XIII watched from his balcony, trembling.
"He's popular?" The King chewed his nails. "He flicked my nose! He ruined my carpet! And now they cheer for him?! UNACCEPTABLE!"
"Sire," Damnatio whispered from the shadows. "Do not engage. He can close dimensions with his fingers. Just... wave."
The King waved stiffly.
Black Bulls Base - The BBQ of Victory
Charmy went nuclear.
She had access to Spade Kingdom Boar, Heart Kingdom Fruit, and Clover Kingdom Potatoes.
"FUSION MAGIC: ULTIMATE BUFFET!"
The feast was legendary. Even the magic beasts in the forest came to watch (and were eaten).
Saitama finally—finally—got his beef.
A steak the size of a manhole cover. Perfectly grilled by Genos's finger-laser.
"Oh," Saitama bit down. Tears welled in his eyes. "This is it. This is the peak. Fighting Lucifero was annoying. Closing the portal was work. But this..."
He swallowed.
"This is justice."
Genos sat next to him. The cyborg didn't eat, but he was pouring oil into a port on his neck.
"Master," Genos said softly. "The mission is complete. The immediate threats are neutralized. However..."
Genos looked at his new metal hand, etched with glowing Heart runes.
"We have changed, Master. I have integrated with magic. You have adapted to this world's physics. If we return home... will we revert?"
Saitama paused. He looked at the stars. They were different constellations than back in City Z.
"I dunno, Genos," Saitama said. "Maybe you keep the tattoos. They look cool. Edgy."
"Thank you, Master."
Noelle walked up. She wasn't yelling. She held a drink.
"Here," she set it down next to Saitama. "It's fancy water. From the Heart Kingdom."
"Thanks."
"You... you're leaving soon? Aren't you?" Noelle asked. She tried to sound casual, flipping her hair, but her voice wavered.
Saitama looked at her.
"Yeah. Gotta go back. There's a sale next Saturday I don't want to miss."
"A sale..." Noelle laughed, but it sounded wet. "Right. Stupid reasons. Typical."
She turned and walked away fast. Asta looked up from his meat-mountain.
"Why is Noelle leaking salt water from her eyes?" Asta asked, confused. "Is she allergic to happiness?"
"She's gonna miss me," Saitama said flatly. "I am pretty charming."
Genos nodded aggressively. "Indeed. Master's charisma is S-Class."
The Meeting: The Truth of the Rift
Two days later.
Saitama and Genos were summoned to the Library.
Teen-Julius was there. So was Nacht. And a creepy floating devil named Adrammelech (who had decided to defect and just hang out because he liked the food).
"Saitama," Julius said, his face serious behind his oversized glasses. "I have researched the phenomenon that brought you here."
Julius opened a holographic map of the universe.
"This is the Clover World. Magic defines reality."
"This is your world. Science defines reality."
He drew a line connecting them.
"The punch you threw at Lucifero... and the 'Shush' against Zagred... and the Closing of the Gate..."
Julius looked at Saitama with awe and fear.
"Your existence is heavy. I've said that before. But I mean it literally. Your density is causing Dimensional Fatigue."
"Fatigue?" Saitama asked. "I'm not tired. I got eight hours last night."
"The World is tired," Nacht clarified from the corner. "Reality is bending to accommodate you. If you stay here too long... the fabric of this dimension will tear. Like a bag holding a bowling ball."
Saitama blinked. "So... I'm too heavy for your universe?"
"Basically," Adrammelech floated down, eating a cookie. "If you don't leave soon, the sky will shatter and we'll all fall into the void. No pressure."
Saitama stood up.
"Okay. I get it. I'm being evicted."
He adjusted his blue cape.
"So how do we go back?"
Julius pointed to a new reading on the map.
"The Land of the Rising Sun. Yami's homeland. There is a connection point there—a place where the veil is thin. If we go there, and if Genos uses his new Rune-Tech to synchronize with the ley lines... and if you punch just right..."
"We can open a door home," Genos finished.
"But," Julius warned. "The Land of the Rising Sun is currently... dealing with its own Dragon problem. A legendary Five-Headed Dragon has awoken."
Saitama cracked his knuckles.
"A dragon?" Saitama asked.
Genos opened his notebook. "Threat Level?"
Julius smiled nervously. "Cataclysmic. Stronger than Lucifero."
Saitama's eyes lit up. Just a little.
"Does it drop meat?"
The Final Departure Party
The Black Bulls gathered at the port. A ship was ready to take Yami, Saitama, Genos, and Asta (because he refused to be left behind) to the Land of the Rising Sun.
"I'm going home," Yami grunted, looking at the ocean. "Never thought I'd see the place again."
"Is it nice?" Saitama asked.
"It has sushi," Yami said. "Real sushi. Not this river fish crap."
"I'm in."
Asta was vibrating. "LAND OF SAMURAIS! AND KI MASTERS!"
Finral wiped a tear. "Captain... be careful. Don't get lost."
"Shut it, wheels. Keep the base running."
As they boarded the ship, Nacht walked up to Saitama.
"Hey, Blank Slate."
Saitama turned.
Nacht held out a small black object. A devil whistle.
"If you ever find a devil in your world," Nacht said, "Blow this. I can't come there. But the shadows might listen."
Saitama took the whistle.
"Thanks, spooky guy."
Saitama boarded the ship. He leaned on the railing. The blue cape fluttered.
As the ship pulled away, the Magic Knights on the dock waved. Noelle was hiding behind a crate, watching.
Saitama waved back. Once.
"Genos," Saitama said.
"Yes, Master?"
"When we get home... remind me to buy cabbage. We're totally out."
"Task added to queue: Cabbage Procurement."
The ship sailed toward the east. Toward Dragons. Toward Samurai.
And toward home.
But deep in the Land of the Rising Sun, the Five-Headed Dragon stirred. One of its heads opened a golden eye.
It felt the vibration in the earth. The rhythm of footsteps that weighed more than mountains.
The challenge was approaching.