City Z - Underground Lab
Location: Dr. Kuseno's Research Facility
"IMPOSSIBLE!"
Dr. Kuseno—a genius in cybernetics, a man who defied death with machines—was pulling out his mushroom-shaped hair.
Monitors around the room were flashing red. ERROR. LOGIC FAILURE. PHYSICS VIOLATION.
"Genos!" Kuseno shouted, waving a tablet. "Your internal core temperature is zero degrees, but you are generating plasma heat! How?! Thermodynamics dictates you should be a puddle of molten slag!"
Genos sat on the diagnostic chair. He was shirtless. The blue Heart Kingdom Runes on his chassis glowed rhythmically, syncing with the rusty, gear-covered Grimoire floating next to his head.
"Doctor," Genos said calmly. "It is the Mana Method. I have rewritten my OS to accept natural atmospheric energy. The 'Magic' cools the 'Science'."
"MAGIC?!" Kuseno grabbed a wrench and pointed it at Genos. "Stop saying that word! We are men of science! There is no magic! Only unexplained energy!"
"Whatever you say, Doctor. It is the Unexplained Energy of a Water Spirit."
Kuseno slumped against a console. "And the coolant lines? Why is the liquid... red?"
"Witch Blood," Genos noted. "It repairs dents automatically. Though it smells like wine."
Kuseno looked ready to cry. "I spent fifty years perfecting regenerative nanobots... and you replaced them with soup from a witch?!"
The Katana Crisis
Saitama sat in the waiting area, spinning on a swivel chair.
"Weeeee," Saitama whispered. "Spin spin."
He stopped. He looked at the coffee table.
On it lay Yami's Katana.
"Hey, Doc," Saitama called out. "While you're fixing the toaster-man, can you look at this?"
Kuseno waddled over, adjusting his goggles. "A sword? Genos told me you acquired a primitive blade. Does it have a mono-molecular edge? A vibro-motor?"
Kuseno reached for the handle.
"Careful," Saitama warned. "It bites."
"Nonsense. It is inanimate matter." Kuseno grabbed the hilt.
BZZZZZT.
The sword didn't shock him. It rejected him with Dark Magic.
A heavy, purple aura exploded from the blade. It felt like being glared at by a furious Yakuza boss while sitting on a toilet.
"HIIIIEEEE!" Kuseno shrieked. The killing intent locked his joints. He fell backward, his lab coat flapping. "The sword! It... it hates me! It feels like nicotine and anger!"
"I told you," Saitama picked up the sword. The aura vanished instantly, purring like a kitten in his hand. "It only likes muscles. Or Ki. You're too smart for it."
Kuseno panted on the floor. "Data log: Sword possesses sentient hostility. Recommended action: Melt it."
"No melting," Saitama said. "It's a souvenir."
The Lab Test
"Very well," Kuseno stood up, composing himself. "If we cannot explain the energy, we must test its output. Genos! To the Testing Chamber!"
They moved to a reinforced concrete bunker used for testing ballistic missiles.
"Target: Standard Titanium Block," Kuseno announced. "Genos, use your standard Incineration Cannon."
Genos raised his palm. The rusted Grimoire fluttered open violently.
Flip-flip-flip-flip.
"Negative," Genos stated. "Standard Protocol is obsolete. Initiating Clover-Tech Hybrid: Mana Zone Simulation."
Runes crawled off Genos's skin and floated in the air. They formed a magical circle around his hand.
"Wait," Kuseno adjusted his glasses. "Those geometric shapes... they are increasing the oxygen density in the room! It's altering the environment!"
"Machine Spirit Art: Salamander's Breath."
Genos fired.
It wasn't a beam. It was a creature.
A roaring dragon head made of fire and electrical plasma shot out. It hit the titanium block.
It didn't melt the block.
It cursed the block.
The metal turned black, withered, and then crumbled into ash.
Kuseno stared at the pile of ash.
"That wasn't heat," Kuseno whispered. "That was... entropy? Acceleration of decay?"
"I mixed in some 'Spade Kingdom Gloom' data," Genos admitted. "It is effective against biological and non-biological targets. Though it makes me feel slightly emo."
Saitama clapped. "Nice light show. Can you use it to heat up ramen?"
"Master, the residual radiation would turn the noodles into tentacles."
"Oh. Never mind."
The Integration
Kuseno rushed to his computer. He was typing at light speed. His scientist spirit had overpowered his fear.
"Genos! This Grimoire... it acts as an external hard drive for reality!" Kuseno laughed maniacally. "If we connect it to the core... we can stabilize the output!"
Kuseno ran over with a specialized cable. He plugged one end into Genos's chest port and the other into the spine of the floating Rusty Grimoire.
CLICK.
The Grimoire shook.
"SYSTEM UPDATE DETECTED."
The book spoke. Or rather, Genos's voice spoke from the book.
The rusted metal cover began to shift. Nanobots from Kuseno's lab swarmed the book. They ate the rust. They polished the gears.
The Grimoire transformed.
It was no longer a piece of junk. It was sleek. Carbon fiber pages. Glowing blue spine. A digital three-leaf clover logo on the cover.
Grimoire Version 2.0: Cyber-Grimoire.
"We did it!" Kuseno cheered. "We digitized the magic!"
Genos felt the power. The lag between "Magic" and "Tech" was gone.
"Incredible," Genos clenched his fist. The Grimoire hovered perfectly, rotating like a satellite. "Reaction time improved by 0.05 seconds. Master! I am faster!"
Saitama looked at the shiny book.
"It looks like a tablet," Saitama observed. "Does it have games?"
Genos paused.
"Downloading Doki Doki Sisters... Installation Complete."
The Grimoire projected a hologram of the game.
Saitama's eyes went wide.
"Kuseno," Saitama said solemnly. "You're a genius."
The Invader
Suddenly, the proximity alarm blared.
"WARNING. INTRUDER IN SECTOR 5. BIOLOGICAL MASS DETECTED."
"A monster?" Kuseno panicked. "Down here?"
The steel blast doors crumpled like foil.
A creature stepped in. It was gray, slimy, and looked like a potato with legs. It had no eyes, just a mouth.
"I SMELL... MAGIC!" the Potato-Monster roared. "I AM THE MANA EATER! I TRAVELED THE RIFT!"
It was a stray Low-Rank Devil that had sneaked through before the gate closed. It was weak (by Clover standards) but terrifying to normal scientists.
"GIVE ME THE MANA!" The Devil lunged at Kuseno.
"Doctor!" Genos prepared to fire.
"Wait," Saitama stepped in. "Not in the lab, Genos. You'll break the new book."
Saitama held Yami's Katana (scabbard and all).
The Devil stopped. It sensed the sword.
"That... that smell..." The Devil trembled. "Yami... Sukehiro...?"
Saitama looked at the sword handle.
"I still don't know how to use this properly," Saitama admitted.
He flipped the sword around. He held the scabbard, using the handle as a hammer.
"So I'll just bonk you."
The Devil hissed. "Devil Magic: Nail Dagg—"
BONK.
Saitama lightly tapped the devil on the head with the sword pommel.
The "Light Tap" exerted enough pressure to liquefy the devil's physical form. The Anti-Magic Ki residue in the blade did the rest, exorcising the spirit instantly.
Poof.
The devil turned into black smoke and vanished.
"Problem solved," Saitama said.
Kuseno crept out from under his desk.
"You..." Kuseno adjusted his crooked glasses. "You killed a trans-dimensional entity... with the handle of a rusty sword?"
"It's not rusty," Saitama patted the blade. "It's vintage."
Genos scanned the area. "Threat eliminated. However, Master... the 'Mana Eater' suggests that traces of the Clover Kingdom are still leaking into our world. We may attract more."
Saitama sheathed the sword. He adjusted his blue cape.
"Let 'em come," Saitama smiled. "As long as they don't interrupt video game night."
He looked at the Cyber-Grimoire projecting the game menu.
"Player One ready. Genos, you're Player Two."
Genos bowed. "It would be an honor to lose to you, Master."
"You're not supposed to lose on purpose!"
As they argued over character selection, Dr. Kuseno watched them. He looked at his ruined lab. He looked at the readings of "Magic" and "Infinite Strength."
He picked up a bottle of sake (from Yami's stash).
"I need a drink," the Doctor whispered. "Science is dead. Long live the nonsense."