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Accidentally roasting my way through the aristocracy

I_Can_Copy_Heaven
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Synopsis
Socially-anxious Meng Shuping transmigrated into ancient times as the newly-recognized bastard son of an earl’s household—freshly hauled in from the countryside. What suffocates him most is the sheer number of people: hordes of brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, plus random cousins who drop by without warning. Meng Shuping, who loathes socializing: My heart is exhausted—save me! SAVE ME! Though he appears quiet and aloof, his inner monologue is a 24/7 roast-fest. What he doesn’t know: whoever he mentally roasts can hear every single word. So when the steward treats him like thin air, Shuping silently fumes, “Seriously? This is supposed to be an earl’s estate? The servants have less manners than a country landlord’s back home. How does Grandpa even run this place?” Earl Meng’s blade-sharp gaze snaps to the steward; the man turns white and drops to his knees. When a concubine tearfully begs Shuping’s father to forgive her children for framing him, Shuping shudders: “Eww, such fake fragile-lotus acting. Dad actually falls for this?” The concubine freezes; Dad coughs in awkward shame. After the emperor tricks him once, Shuping scowls inwardly, “You royal types have filthy hearts.” Emperor & assorted princes: “……” Everyone knows Jiang Cihe, court minister extraordinaire, is famously petty and vengeful—cross him and life becomes unbearable. The first time Jiang meets Shuping he “overhears”: “Pfft, looks human, doesn’t act it.” Shuping glances up, meets a pair of dark, heavy eyes, quickly looks down—and keeps roasting: “What’re you staring at, never seen a handsome guy? Mental case.” For some reason, the stare on him turns even icier.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter - 1

The sun climbed to its zenith, and traffic on the official road gradually dwindled. In contrast, the roadside inns, taverns, and other establishments began to fill with a steady stream of travelers.

At a small-town tavern located just over twenty *li* (about 10 km/6.2 miles) from the capital, many people had gathered to rest and eat. The crowd, hailing from various places, filled the main hall with a noisy, lively atmosphere.

As he ate, Meng Shuping perked up his ears, listening with great interest to the latest gossip from the capital being discussed at the table behind him.

Across from him, Steward Chen frowned and shot him a disdainful look. *After all, he was raised in the countryside—crude in manner and lacking in refinement, far inferior to the other young masters of the Earl's household who were carefully nurtured.*

*Moreover, this country lad, who has never studied or learned proper etiquette, wouldn't pass for a true scion of an aristocratic family even after returning to the Earl's estate. In Steward Chen's opinion, he must be thoroughly drilled in etiquette, lest he end up embarrassing the Earl's family.*

Meng Shuping was completely unaware of Steward Chen's thoughts. Even if he had known, he wouldn't have cared—he was too absorbed in the hilarious gossip from the table behind him.

"Pfft—Noble Consort Tao's nephew and Esteemed Consort Zhao's nephew got into a fistfight in the street over a girl, only to find out the 'girl' was actually a young man in disguise! Hahahaha, those two are such blockheads!"

"Minister Li was swindled out of five hundred taels of his secret stash by a shameless swindler.

But after reporting it to the authorities, it was discovered that the scammer had been arranged by his wife! Now that's rich!"

"The Earl of Anyang…"

"Ahem! Ahem!"

For some reason, Steward Chen, sitting across from him, suddenly choked, spraying bits of food he hadn't yet swallowed. Meng Shuping quickly leaned back, alarmed.

"Aaaah—did he just spit on me?"

Steward Chen froze, his face flushing red. After coughing for a while, he gradually recovered.

Once Steward Chen had straightened up again, he found himself facing Meng Shuping's innocent expression.

Steward Chen: "…"

*Hmph, this kid is far too cunning. If not for inexplicably being able to hear Meng Shuping's inner thoughts, Steward Chen might have been fooled by that pure and honest appearance. Who would have thought that someone who seemed so well-behaved and simple could be so bold and unruly on the inside?*

*And worst of all, he's always making snide remarks about Steward Chen in his mind!*

*But no matter how sly he is, he was still raised in the countryside—what could he possibly know? Once they return to the Earl's household, he'll probably be too scared to say a word!*

Noticing Steward Chen looking at him, Meng Shuping immediately put on a concerned expression. "Steward Chen, are you alright?"

*"Why is he looking at me? Does he want me to show concern? Hahaha, how ridiculous!"*

Steward Chen's face twitched slightly. He coughed twice before replying stiffly, "…Thank you for your concern, fifth young master. I'm fine."

Meng Shuping nodded casually. "Oh."

*"What kind of attitude is that? I show concern, and he gives me attitude. He's just a steward from the Earl's household—who does he think he is, acting superior in front of me? As if everyone doesn't know he's not even ranked among the top stewards. It's only because I have a good temper that I don't bother with him. Anyone else would have slapped him silly by now."*

This Steward Chen, relying on his status from the Earl's household, always put on a haughty front in front of him. He was constantly going on about "this is the Earl's household's rule" or "don't embarrass the Earl's household." Meng Shuping had long been dissatisfied with him.

But since he was new here and knew nothing about the Earl's household, he decided to endure it for now—at least until he could get the lay of the land.

Two months ago, Meng Shuping had suddenly found himself in the body of a country squire's son. Initially, he was worried that others would notice he was different from the original owner.

But then, just over ten days ago, Steward Chen had suddenly appeared, claiming that Meng Shuping was the Earl's household's long-lost young master. After verifying that Steward Chen was legitimate, Meng Shuping gathered his things and followed him out.

Although he knew nothing about the Earl's household, at least none of them were familiar with him, so he didn't have to worry about being found out.

Even if someone noticed he was different from how he'd been in the countryside, it would be understandable—after all, he'd changed environments.

After finishing his mental grumbling, Meng Shuping stopped overthinking and turned his attention back to the conversation behind him. Steward Chen, however, was seething.

Steward Chen held back for a moment but couldn't resist. Seeing Meng Shuping's ears perked up and his meal forgotten, he took it upon himself to lecture him.

"Fifth young master, we'll soon be returning to the Earl's household. You can't act as freely as you did in the countryside—you'll be a laughingstock. According to the rules, you must not engage in other activities during meals. It's a matter of etiquette."

Meng Shuping, who had been enjoying the gossip, was annoyed at being interrupted again. Still, he held back and replied politely, "You go ahead and eat. I'm full."

*"Ugh—Steward Chen doesn't even realize he just spat into the dishes. Who could still eat that? Spitting out something you've already eaten and then swallowing it again—only Steward Chen wouldn't mind. Gag—"*

"Gag—"

Steward Chen felt a wave of nausea rising in his throat. He turned aside and gagged.

But no matter how much he gagged, the food was already in his stomach, and nothing came up.

Meng Shuping was startled by Steward Chen's sudden reaction. "What's wrong with Steward Chen? Could he have come down with something?"

Hearing a hint of concern in that voice, Steward Chen felt slightly puzzled. *Was Meng Shuping actually worried about him?*

But the next moment, he knew he must have misunderstood.

*"Oh no, I've been eating and traveling with Steward Chen these past few days. What if I catch whatever he has?"*

After all, this was ancient times—medical care was primitive. Meng Shuping didn't want to risk it with his life.

Steward Chen's face alternated between green and pale. After a long moment, he smiled tightly and wiped the corner of his mouth with a handkerchief. "Since the fifth young master is full, let's set off now."

Meng Shuping had no objections. Since he couldn't eat anymore, it didn't matter whether they left early or late. The coachman, Uncle Li, seeing that neither of them planned to continue eating, quickly stood up. "I'll go bring the carriage around."

The three of them left the tavern and boarded the carriage, heading toward the capital. After traveling for another half an hour, they could see the majestic city gates in the distance.

Meng Shuping leaned out and admired the towering city wall. "Wow, the capital is truly different. Even the city walls are more imposing than anywhere else."

Once inside the city, he grew even more excited.

As the capital, it was indeed more prosperous than other places, and the people's clothing was noticeably finer.

Noticing Meng Shuping's gawking, Steward Chen sneered. *Such a country rube.*

He cleared his throat and said smugly, "Fifth young master, what do you think? Never been to such a bustling place, have you?"

Meng Shuping glanced at Steward Chen speechlessly. "Yes, yes. I've never even left my village since I was born. I ate bran and wild greens every day, and even smelling meat was a rare treat."

Steward Chen grew even more pleased with himself. "Let me tell you, the capital is full of delicious food and entertainments. You won't be able to see it all in a short time. Since you'll be living here from now on, you'll have plenty of time to explore slowly."

Then, believing himself to be kindly offering advice, he added, "But once we enter the Earl's household, you mustn't stare around like this. The rules are strict there, and there are many masters and servants in each branch of the family. You wouldn't want to be laughed at…"

Meng Shuping felt like Steward Chen was a wasp constantly droning on in his ear. He was extremely impatient. "Steward Chen talks far too much. Doesn't anyone in the Earl's household find him annoying?"

Steward Chen choked off, speechless. After a moment, he flicked his sleeve and snorted. "Fifth young master, you'd better watch yourself!"

If he'd known this would happen, he wouldn't have been so "kind" earlier.

Meng Shuping thought Steward Chen was completely irrational, losing his temper for no reason.

"No wonder he's not given any real responsibility—bad temper and too talkative. It's no wonder he can't get ahead."

Steward Chen clenched his fists, barely restraining the urge to hit someone. *Hmph, once they returned to the Earl's household, there would be plenty of opportunities to teach him a lesson.*

The rest of the journey passed in silence. Eventually, the carriage arrived at the Earl of Anyang's residence.

Several gatekeepers, idle and lounging lazily, watched as a carriage stopped at the entrance. Steward Chen and a handsome youth of about sixteen or seventeen stepped down. They all eyed Meng Shuping with curiosity.

Under everyone's gaze, Meng Shuping shifted uncomfortably and subtly moved behind Steward Chen. As someone who hated being noticed, he hated being the center of attention and used Steward Chen to block the others' views.

Just as the gatekeepers were wondering about Meng Shuping's identity, Steward Chen said, "Fifth young master, let's hurry. The second master and second mistress are likely waiting for you!"

The Earl of Anyang's household consisted of four branches. The first and fourth masters were born of the legal wife, while the second and third masters were born of concubines. However, the first and fourth masters were not born of the same mother, as the Earl's first wife had passed away early, and the current lady of the house was a stepmother.

As for Meng Shuping, he was even more a son of a concubine's son—his birth mother of this body was a concubine of the Second Master of Berkeley Manor, though she had long since passed away.

Meng Shuping was even more eager than Steward Chen to leave this place. As soon as Steward Chen urged him, he strode ahead with a brisk pace. In the blink of an eye, Steward Chen found himself lagging far behind and hurried to catch up, all the while felt nothing but contempt for Meng Shuping.

*He must be so used to poverty that he can't wait to indulge in the wealth of Berkeley Manor.*

Once the two had left, the gatekeepers burst out into discussion: "Fifth young master? Which fifth young master?"

"Look at his shabby clothes—could he be some poor relative from some backwater?"

"Do you think he might be the fifth young master who went missing over a decade ago?"

...

After leading Meng Shuping a short distance further, Steward Chen brought him to a doorway, where an elderly maidservant greeted them with a beaming smile. "This must be the fifth young master! This old servant pays her respects. The Second Master and Second Mistress have long awaited your return. Now that you're finally here, please, come inside."

As she spoke, she subtly scrutinized Meng Shuping from head to toe. Noticing his ordinary attire—inferior even to that of the young masters' servants in the mansion—her eyes betrayed a hint of disdain.

Observing the maidservant's expression, Meng Shuping couldn't help but feel incredulous.

*Is she looking down on me? Seriously? Is she actually proud of being a mere gatekeeper and errand runner?*

Old Lady Qian was taken aback. Who had just spoken? She glanced around but saw no one. The voice seemed to have come out of nowhere.

Before she could investigate further, Meng Shuping had already stepped inside. Left with no choice, Old Lady Qian decided to set the matter aside for the moment and focus on her duty.

Guided by Old Lady Qian, Meng Shuping turned a corner and entered a long, narrow passageway before stepping into a garden. The garden was adorned with rockeries and lush vegetation. After several turns, Meng Shuping muttered to himself, "Why aren't we there yet?"

Old Lady Qian, assuming he was addressing her, replied with a smile, "Don't be impatient, fifth young master. It's not much farther. Our Berkeley Manor is no common household—how could it only take a few steps to reach? You've lived in the countryside all your life, so it's natural you're not used to it. In time, you'll adapt."

Meng Shuping curled his lip. *Is she mocking me for being an ignorant country folk? Well, even the servants of rural landowners wouldn't dare act as arrogantly toward their masters as the servants in this Berkeley Manor. This is certainly an eye-opener. I'll have to mention this to someone later—if things don't improve, we might need to make changes.*

Hearing this, Old Lady Qian remained unfazed. *What could a newly arrived illegitimate son possibly do? Look at him—he can't even tell when he's being fooled.*

Meng Shuping stared at Old Lady Qian's retreating figure. *Something's off. She's acting very strangely. Why is there no one else around on this entire route?*

A malicious thought crossed his mind. *Is she deliberately leading me to a secluded spot to quietly do me in? Should I strike first to protect myself?*

Old Lady Qian grew nervous. *N-no… that can't be. This is Berkeley Manor, after all,* she thought

Meng Shuping was puzzled. *Why are her legs trembling? Is she feeling guilty? I can't just let this slide…*

Just as he was considering whether to stop her and demand an explanation, Old Lady Qian suddenly took off running. Startled, Meng Shuping hurried after her, but when he turned the corner, she had vanished.

Bewildered, Meng Shuping looked around but saw no trace of anyone. He circled the area several times, but Old Lady Qian was nowhere to be found. He stood dumbfounded, *Where did she go?*