There's no point in keep looking for it, it feels fucking weird being in her room. Should I get a new ring?
Fuck! Why do I even want that ring? It's not like they had a good marriage, and we weren't even that close, he was a trucker, so we only saw him every other week, or month...
But he did say it was for me when I grow up.
Oh, fuck it! I'm gonna get a matching pair and to hell with this shit.
I'm adding to the huge pile of trash outside when a car parks in front of me.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
It's Curls's husband, can I get at least one day without fucking drama??
He's frowning looking at Quentin's family street art. Yeah bruh welcome to my life.
"Want a whiskey?"
He looks at me "it's 10 am".
"You can't say that! Come on dude, have you never seen a movie?" He seems really confused "it's like the most cliche line you could have said, and now in the next scene we'll be trashed with an empty bottle between us"
"But it is 10 am" the dude is more uptight then curls, go figure!
"So you don't want one?" If we're gonna do this I really want one "you rather we talk dry?"
Fel's eyebrow trick does it's charm "sure I'll have one"
I take him to the back, we sit in the porch like two ol'pals. I take a good swig of liquid courage. "Before we start to talk of whatever you want to talk about, I need to ask you a question..." Another swig "it's there a chance we might be brothers?"
...
...
I think I broke him. I push his glass to him and he takes a modest sip and reacts like he just drank acid. I laugh at his face and bring him a soda.
"My dad died when I was eight so I don't really know much about him" I don't really want to give him to much info, that's a habit that Fel installed on me the first week home free.
"My dad it's still alive"
Oh thanks the fucking gods!
"Oh thanks fuck!! That was really bugging me" I shrug it off "sorry I wouldn't have been able to concentrate without asking"
"No it's fine, I haven't even thought of that"
"Well you had more important issues"
"No, yes, right... But... I'm sorry but are you sure your dad was your biological father?"
"Yes yes, really sure, people always said we looked really alike... How about you?"
"No, yes I'm sure, we also look alike"
"Do you have a picture?"
He finds one on his Insta... His dad has insta? Is insta for oldies now??
"He does look a lot like you, but that's not my dad" That motherfucking fucker, that's totally my old man... But I was at his fucking funeral, granted it was a closed casket and there weren't many people there, but that is cause he almost never was in town so he didn't knew many people... That motherfucking fucker! We were totally his second family.
"Are you sure? It's been like what? Twenty years?"
"Thirty, but thank you" I wink at my little brother. Fuck!!!
I was so happy for being in Curls chick flick, and now I'm on my own trashy drama? "He kind of looks like him, but my dad was about that age when I was a kid"
I know what you might be thinking, but I don't give a fuck, I don't need more drama, especially the family kind.
Nope.
Nope nope nope nope
I pour me another glass "I see you are still wearing your wedding ring?" So that's were it was. That motherfucking fucker. "And since you're here to talk to me I assume you haven't talked to Curls yet?"
"No, not yet"
"Ok, but I have, so let me assure you that there's nothing between us, only lingering feelings of friendship" swig "so whatever it's happening between the two of you it's between the two of you" and maybe Matt, fuck! my lil bro is getting cheated on?
"So you think it's a coincidence that we look a lot alike?"
"Well the fact that you are incredibly handsome might have something to do with it"
He takes a moment to realize that I'm actually complimenting myself, and laughs.
"No, but for real, I do believe him when he says that he didn't notice the similarities until we were in front of each other" he is looking at me expectantly. Dude! You were the one who wanted to talk! Why am I monologuing?? "I mean... Your amazing looks may have subconsciously attracted him at first, but that is superficial bullshit, and beyond the surface, you and me" I point at us just in case there is any doubt duh "we are nothing alike, you are like super uptight and I'm like super cool" I am killing it at being a wise older bro.
He laughs at that "yeah, we're really nothing alike... But it's still kind of weird"
"Umm you really should talk to him about that, I don't know... Although I do have a theory, but it's not my place to say"
He's looking at me waiting for me to continue. Nope bro, it's your relationship, you do the talking.
"But he was in love with you"
"Nononono he might have thought he was, but he really wasn't, I think he was just mixing friendship with teen hormones, and you know how it is, we've all been there..."
"I don't know, that sounds a little far fetched, and still doesn't explain why would he go for someone that looks just like his first love"
"Maybe he has a type? Or maybe it's like he said and he didn't notice and it was just subconsciously?"
"Subconsciously because he was in love with you"
"Maybe, or maybe because of his trauma?"
"What trauma?"
Oh fuck! I really don't want to get into this "fuck! Long story short cause I don't have that much whisky" swig "my mom found me with a guy, kicked me out and called everyone I knew and told them that she found me raping someone, which was a lie by the way, and when all the parents were talking about calling the cops, and the asshole I was fucking didn't say shit, Curls told everyone that it was him, that we were boyfriends and my mom was lying, only to find out that I was already gone." Swig "that trauma"
"I didn't know that"
"He never told you how he came out?"
"He doesn't like to talk about that"
"Hence trauma" he is lost in thought and I just keep looking at his wedding ring, it has the same green line in the middle. Fuck. "You really should be talking to him about this"
"No, yes, right, you're right about that, thank you" he stands up and I walk him to the door.
We are handshaking good bye "Should we get a DNA test? Just in case?"
I froze for like a second, I let go of his hand "nah, no need, at best we might be some kind of distant cousins, no need to complicate things" fuck, sorry lil bro, you're nice and all but I want nothing to do with that motherfucking fucker.
"Yeah, ok, it was nice talking to you"
"Yeah, you too, it was not weird at all"
We share an awkward laugh and before he takes two steps I close the door and run to my room to call Fel "you're not gonna believe what just happened, cause like what da fuck!!!"