Matt
Why do I always fuck everything up? Why do I have to fall for married guys!?
That's not fair, Mike wasn't married when I fell for him, and we didn't do anything... Because he didn't want to... And Sammy interrupted us. Ugh!
But now? Not only did he want to, but we did a lot, and Jay instead of interrupt or stand in the way, just gave me a thumbs up and ran away...
Ugh! I'm a homewrecker! There's no other way to put it.
Curls is sobbing in my arms, and it takes a lot of coaxing to get him back to my place, he is kind of checked out. I help him to dry clothes, there's nothing sexy about it this time...
I keep talking about this and that, but he is completely out of it... I hate myself for doing that to him.
Why did I do this?? Why am I like this?? We're sitting at the front porch again, when the delivery I ordered arrives.
There is no problem that cannot be solved by ice cream. Especially if it's the strawberry jam flavor only found in Helltown. But when I placed the order I asked him what his favorite was... Vanilla... What kind of monster orders vanilla ice cream?? It's just wrong! It's a waste of a good choice, it's an insult to humanity! But the thing that arrived is not the typical yellowish white insipid thing, nope, it's a furious yellow vanilla ice cream, and it tastes amazing, and I totally get it now. His man really knows what's good...
Damn, Curls is it attacking the bowl, his face is regaining colour, and he is sighing every other spoon full, I wouldn't say he is back to normal, but he looks alive again, that's something.
He is halfway done with it when Mike walks by, waves at us and keeps going down hill, literally, not metaphorically.
Curls asks me about what I said before, I get it, he is trying to distract himself so I have no other choice but to tell him. I really don't want to expose my dirty past, but I can't lie to him.
After that first time I visited here when I was thirteen Mike and I kept in touch by letters and on special occasions by phone, then someone invented emails, so that made things easier. But after a couple of years we lost touch. We were teenagers, there were shinier things to pay attention to...
It wasn't until I went to live in the city for university that we found each other again, I was studying at architecture faculty and he was at the neighboring faculty of economic sciences, we only found each other when we were just a few months short of graduation. And he was engaged. The date was set in stone. His fiance was pregnant already. I knew that what ever illusions I had before, they were not going to come to nothing... Nothing!
One drunken night, Mike confessed to me that he's bi, and I was his first love. We talked about a lot of things that night, and somehow it got into my head that he was only marrying her because of the baby. I thought I was his true love. And there my carrier as a homewrecker began. That was all bullshit though, all in my head...
I tried to seduce him, I get pushy when I fall for someone, but Mike didn't pay much attention.
We graduated, he had his baby, then got married, he asked me to be his best man, but I told him it should be Sammy, I really didn't want to be standing up there with them. I mean how clueless could he be??
Any way, we were like best friend for a couple of years, I hated Sammy because he was always tagging along, now I'm really thankful for that.
Almost two years after we reconnected, on my birthday we got kinda tipsy, well a little more than that, and I got pushy, again, I was horned up, it was two years since I gave up my slutty ways, and we were about to kiss when Sammy showed up. It was a whole thing. He was cursing at us, Mike was kind of out of it, and I was a big ball of shame. The next day was even worse. Mike broke up with me as a friend, it was ... ... ... Yep, it was a shitty birthday. But it was the kick in the ass I needed. I refocused on my tesis that has been gathering dust for the last two years, graduated, got a job, and moved on, eventually.
Curls was listening to all of it without saying a word, attacking the ice cream, leaving nothing for me, he had a rough day, I won't hold it against him. But only this once.
And after I'm done with the story, he's looking confused, he asks me if I was really over Mike, then why did I move into town? I'm not going to lie, his interest gives me a little hope. Never have I fallen so hard, so fast, not even with Mike, so I tell him the truth "I moved here because of you"