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The Slapstick Dragon

PV_Pendleton
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Synopsis
Karter Ribb moves to Maine and becomes a monster hunter. What happens when his girlfriend, Angela, is secretly a witch and used to date his mentor, Danny.
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Chapter 1 - The Slapstick Dragon

I'd been living in my two-story home for eight days and it was horrible. Every day was a different story with how wild it was. I'd moved to Maine for a quiet life yet, I have a purpose.

"Sir, we would like to tell you that you've been our number one customer. We would like to give you one million dollars."

Luck, the essence of the universe. I've been cursed with a long and adventurous life.

"Help, I've been kidnapped by pirates!"

"Not now mom."

Today, I've got another adventure. My adventure is to fight pirates that have been moving inland. Though they are pretty strong, I have spent my entire life through adventure. They came into the diner with masks and guns.

"How about you kids get on the ground?"

Everyone compiled but I didn't let them. I stood and walked forward.

"I prefer a different plan."

My fist crackled against one skull and the same for the other. They fell to the ground and my poor self was taken home.

"You know, there's a special profession for people like you."

It was an old man in a classic hillbilly outfit, flannel shirt, blue jeans with holes throughout, and a leather vest.

"What's that?"

"Well, there are creatures in this world that can kill a man in a second. You could help out."

"Does it pay well?"

"It doesn't."

"Then why would you ever do it then?"

"Adventure, mystery, and glory."

"What a horrible idea."

I left the car and went into my house to see that it was on fire. Everything was encapsulated in flames that went sky high.

"What magic brings you back to me?"

"I'm gonna take you up on that offer."

He never even left the driveway before my revisit.

"There's a job nearby."

"What are we facing?"

"My guess, dragon."

We drove for half an hour before we reached the point, a place where urban legends were made and told. It was a bunch of cabins that were uninhabited for decades. The reason it got its name was because of the fact that it used to be a battlefield in almost every American war, especially native.

"What are some monsters?"

"Dragons, fairies, vampires, grim reapers, and politicians."

"Politicians?"

"Route of all evil."

We rode in the car for a half hour before we made our stop. A small group of cabins with no windows. We got out and my acquaintance gave me a dagger and a torch.

"So, we kill a dragon with this?"

"No, you take the goblins whilst I slay the dragon."

"Goblins exist?"

"It's like an elf, just green."

"I've never met an elf."

"Oh, right."

He sat in silence for a couple seconds.

"Any other forms of explanation?"

"Small devil."

We entered the cabins and saw that there was a small hole in the floor next to the bed. It was dark and went down about fifty feet to a straight forward cave. All that was in these was pieces of gold.

"Master doesn't like you."

A green man about the size of a bar stool came at me with a furious look of desperation. He wrapped his small hands around my neck and started to squeeze.

"Help?"

"Yeah, forgot about that."

My mentor picked up a broom in the corner of the one room cabin and started to hit the goblin. The biggest tragedy of this squabble is that I took most of the hits.

"Just shoot him!"

He took out a stake and impaled the goblin.

"Guns don't work on them."

"How many of those are here?"

"Hundred, hundred fifty?" 

"Why was this my first mission?"

"Get you some experience from the jump. I'm trying to help you boy."

"Experience is doing anything in this field."

"Good experience, gets you paid for the job."

"By who, you're just a redneck out to kill a dragon?"

"You see, there's an underground sect of people who hunt these things and a rich few who will buy these objects once we kill the monsters. I've been living off of this for eighteen years."

His wrinkles went to the back of his forehead as he spoke. Every detail about him told me he was sloppy, his unkempt beard, his unwashed clothes, and the smell. He must have not showered in days. 

"Let's just go kill the dragon."

"Ladies first."

I went down the tunnel with barely any light or anything to hold onto. My hands gave out just as I reached the bottom and my descent became forceful by four inches and a heart attack. When I reached the bottom the man threw down a bag of flashlights and stakes.

"I have a question, what's your name?"

"Danny Carpenter, I own the junkyard by Quinn's landing."

My mentor descended faster and soon enough he was down. We went through the tunnel yet none of it went anywhere but forward, if Danny was right about it being a dragon then that means that there was real gold in that entry. I know that Maine has no active gold mines but that must be what makes it special. Nobody is coming around to rival the dragon for its gold.

"Stop, this feels off."

"Boy, I've been doing this for eighteen years."

A goblin tackled him. He fell to the ground with a squall of terror and the growls of a goblin.

"Master doesn't want you here!"

"They know we're here!"

I plunged the dagger that Danny gave me into the back of the goblin. I saw that the knife was outfitted with symbols. The creature looked at me but quickly dissipated. When my eyes saw what the blade looked like, the symbols were gone. 

"Can you explain?"

"Goblins never die forever, the symbols are the only things that kill them and once we kill the dragon they stop coming back."

We walked in silence through the cavity of the caves. Every goblin that came in our way was quickly taken down. But none of them stayed gone. We eventually got to the main collection zone, where hundreds of tunnels lead into. In the middle of it was a large pile of gold and a red dragon that was exhaling smoke from its green nose. All the goblins we faced in the tunnel were here, the green ones and the short ones. They spiraled around the dragon with such curiosity.

"You lure the goblins away, I take the dragon."

"That is the complete opposite of what I planned."

"Well, I don't want to die."

"Boo hoo."

We walked from different sides to the center of the place. All of the goblins were on the ceiling trying to go to sleep but when I took out my dagger, a goblin awoke.

"Master?"

My flashlight lifted to the goblin's eyes and it went to the ground in an airless scream. My boots went to the face of the goblin as did Danny's dagger but they didn't pierce his skin or make him become a cloud of gas.

"Why did you do that to me, master?"

"Kid, get over here, I need some help."

"You're not my master, you are a hunter."

I yet again kicked him and went to the other side of the gold to see Danny with a dragon leg over him. 

"I'm pretty sure it's already dead."

"Then just use one of those sigils and make sure." 

"They don't work like that."

"Well, just get out of there."

"The dragon weighs two tons."

"Well, let me help."

I lifted the dragon arm with Danny's help and he was lifted out of it.

"Will you ever leave me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That wasn't me."

I could feel the fiery breath go down my neck and into my Hawaiian shirt.

"I curse you two, to eternal laughter."

That felt funny, nothing in my body could stop me from laughing. It bellowed out of my mouth and into the air. So did Danny as he started to laugh. He released the most funny and horrible laugh at the same time.

"We hehe, need to haha, kill this dragon."

"Any hahaha, sigils?"

It pained me to speak but when I turned the dragon slapped me to the side and in a fit of giggles, had a glove with a sigil on it. Danny must have slipped it into my pocket before I got slapped.

"You two are a bunch of chuckles."

The dragon ran at me with ferocious speed and before I was able to stand, the dragon was over me. I slipped on the glove with the sigil on the back of the hand and slapped the monster.

"Wow, you are a bad dragon."

"I only love two things, gold and comedy. Right now I have both in the same spot."

Dragon lifted me in its left hand and Danny with its tail to go through the roof and into the sky. I saw the cabin a mile or two away and the still smoking house of mine.

"I will take you two on a ride."

"Twelve minutes, that's all you have left before you fall on the ground and never wake up."

"Two years, you got two years on your heart Danny Carpenter of Maine."

Dragon landed in the middle of the woods. He tried to breathe fire on us but he was too weak. The sigil was too strong for his little lungs. Danny was thrown in a tree and I was dropped on a rock.

"This piece of self destruction."

"You know about the curse."

"Everyone does large amounts of adventure in exchange for a lifetime of pain." 

A deal that was unfair.

"Well I know a way out for you."

"I'm doomed and so are you."

I didn't know what a curse or sigil was six months ago, I was a bored office worker and in desperate need of something to live for. 

"Well, some sooner than others."

The dragon fell to the ground with a large thump and a last bit of flames exploded out of his mouth before the eyes closed for the last time.

"Good job, kid."

"Thanks, now how much are we making off this?"

"Eight thousand."

"Not that much."

"Sorry, eighty thousand."

"Well, where do we go?"

He took out a knife and some chalk before he carved a sigil in the ground and started to chant.

"Here is how we get our money."

Danny jumped on the sigil before a hole appeared under him and he fell in. Every piece of me told me not to enter that hole but I was never much of a listener. My body descended into the hole and I saw a city that was underground. All of it was beauty, the birds to the flowers. All of it with high buildings that went to the roof and people with scars that encapsulated their bodies. When I looked around for Danny I saw that he was on the sidewalk next to me. 

"Alot to take in."

"Yeah, can you uh, send me back?"

"Fine, I guess you won't meet the boss."

He chanted and hit me on the head with his stake before I opened my eyes and saw that I was in my house's ruins.

"I wonder if a house reconstruction spell exists."

"Are you Karter Ribb?"

"Yes."

There stood a mailman in a silly hat, blue cargo shorts, and glasses that were partially covered by his long black hair. He had a handbag that went down to his waist and a pen that stuck out of the pocket of his blue shirt.

"I'm your mailman from now on."

"What happened to Mr. Henders?"

"I've come with your payment."

"That is?"

Eighteen thousand dollars, that is how much I was paid for my valiant efforts in killing that horrible dragon.

"We would like to send you to remote training."

"How long is the program?"

"Eight days, you have only one objective, survive."

"That sounds alright, I accept."

"It starts right now."

A fist came over and cracked me across the side of the face before he kicked me in the stomach whilst I was on the ground. He proceeded to kick me several more times before he took a book out of his handbag and threw it down to me.

"What's this for?"

"It has all the sigils."

"So, what are y'all going to be doing in this program?"

I spit up some blood.

"We will be sending hired assassins to you and the strongest creatures in our custody."

"Well, are you one of them?"

"No."

"Then why did you kick me?"

"The higher ups say that I get bonuses depending on how unprepared I make you for the test."

"Good to know."

He left and I sat on the ground with my money and book. Only eight more days to survive until I made the big bucks.

"Hey kid, I see you got the training request."

"It was a request?"

"Yeah, they let you into the group if you are good at the job, training doesn't really matter. The training program is just a piece of bull that they throw at recruits so that they can get a good survey without having you slam the door in their face."

"Can you help me up, Danny?"

"Yeah."

Danny helped me up and patted me on the back before putting me in his truck.

"If we stay here another minute, we will die."

He drove me to a shack in the woods where he dragged me out of the truck and into the shack.

"So what is in here? A magic anti spleen rupture?"

"No, I got another weapon. You're the next big thing as you have guaranteed hits and everyone wants to find the mother of all monsters so the guy that is destined for big things is going to be the best thing on your side."

"My adventure curse is the key to finding the mother of all monsters?"

"That's what I said."

He put a bandage over my bruises and threw me two gloves. 

"Do these kill monsters as well?"

"No, these repel them. It distorts the gravity of the monsters so that they can't physically touch them."

"Nice, but any other magic weapons?"

"Yeah, here's a pike meant to kill tricksters." 

He tossed me a pike and all it had was a red square on it.

"That's it?"

"I'm not made of money, I'll get you the body money from the dragon next week, until then, survive."

He was almost out the door before I asked him one last question.

"How long will this place keep me?"

"It is lined in monster repellent so you should be fine for a couple hours."

He left me and thirty minutes later I heard a scream.

"Hello?"

The door moved forward and a man moved into the room. He had a pair of gym shorts on and hair that went up his body to his chest that was bair with scratches and his head was that of a wolf. Every part of it was freaky until he charged.

"Money..."

"Guan ko."

Red bands appeared around his neck and he fell to the ground. All of the bands tightened around his neck and got tighter until I yelled the stop order.

"I…talk…detail."

"Who is hunting me?"

"Bad."

"Names, abilities, their grandma's maiden name?"

"Quell So."

He fell asleep and I put a silver ring that my dad bought me on his hand. I left the facilities of my shelter and went into the woods. Everyone in the woods must have heard me as I was quickly surrounded by a jester, a vampire, a man in a tophat, and I'm pretty sure a creature from an H.P Lovecraft book.

"We will let you live if you just let one of us turn you in."

Whilst they surrounded me I took some time to carve a protection spell into my shirt.

"I will let you leave if you just close your eyes for ten seconds."

The first lesson in the art of magic, light manipulation. 

All you need is:

Red dirt

Blood of the doomed

The sacred sigil of the spell.

Mix all for two seconds and you will be able to temporarily control all light intake of those around you.

"Would you like to explain yourself?"

"No."

My hands made the sigil, and I felt my hands come together and make the blood, two seconds and it created the light spell.

"Bask in my glory."

"Not really."

All of them besides the top hat man were on the ground and screaming in pain. He just sat there with his mustache and baby blue eyes.

"I'm pretty sure I did it right."

"You did indeed, but I've been working magic ever since the last ice age."

"I don't really care, just get out of my way."

"No."

My hands went up and so did a couple pebbles that I used to cut my hands. He looked at the rocks for a split second before he went back to me. Only problem is that I wasn't there. My escape was into the woods and up a hill towards the point, that is why Danny brought me here. To go and lure the goblins out to get these people.

"Hello?"

A man with an office outfit was sitting down and watching me from the point.

"Have you been watching me?"

"Help."

"Who are you?"

"Can you come help me?"

The man stood and charged for me with the fury of a lion. While I ran from him he ran toward me until he had eight goblins in his face and was beaten with a broom.

"It helps if you stand still."

"Really, okay."

He was promptly hit with a broom. I kicked him whilst he was down but then I had goblins on me.

"You took away our master!"

"He deserved it."

My hand crept towards my flashlight as I hit him in the face before doing it again with the flashlight.

"My nose is already broken, can you not?"

"You broke my flashlight."

Goblins and monsters had me surrounded. Everyone of them was mad and there besides the likes of the top hat man. A vampire jumped at me, I slashed at it with the stake but it did not flinch.

"You know, vampires don't naturally come from humans, we are a new breed from a common ancestor."

"Tell him I said hi."

I put the stake in his chest but he just threw me aside. I was a ragdoll to him. His hand was covered in long yellow claws and his eyes were red along with his cape that went from neck to toe over his designer suit.

 "Will you people ever get it? I'm a person as well, I was never turned or anything of the sort. This is my birth form."

"So vampires are people too?"

"Finally someone gets it!"

Thankfully, everyone was more concerned with the likes of vampire civil rights than the likes of their target. I crawled away to a tree and pulled the three inch tall book out of my pocket and saw that there was a spell after the light spell. Only problem was that I couldn't find anything I could do at the moment before they caught me. 

"I have a sigil to teach you, there are also some spells you should memorize, like the disperse spell."

"Disperse spell? Are you telling me that there is a distance version of the sigil?"

"It disperses all monsters in a five hundred mile radius."

He carved a sigil in the ground with a stick.

"Can you teach me a healing spell?"

"Yes, as I don't want to fight a creature that absolutely doesn't know what it is doing."

He put a small animal bone on the ground and yelled a magic chant before I looked down at my hands that I cut with the stake and saw that I was healed.

"Thanks, can you write it in my book? I need to get running."

"Very well, also you can curse somebody and it won't cost you anything besides becoming more bitter."

"See you soon."

He vanished into thin air like a ghost when the cameras were on. All of it was off.

"Witches are fairly underrated; we are represented as creatures of the night with no brains but with every spell we get a little more strategic."

A woman in a black suit and a piece of my Hawaiian shirt in her hand. 

"Listen miss, I'm not in the mood for the antics right now. Come back later and I will deal with you."

She stood in disbelief as I handed her my phone number and went towards the point where all the monsters were waiting.

"What will we do with this guy, I mean, we need to figure out how we get his body back to the city without having the next big shootout."

"Easy, we just throw him out as a meat shield."

"That is a bad idea, I mean, I could be unrecognizable."

"There he is, get him!"

The werewolf and a man in a doctor's outfit with cuts and yellow stains on his ounce white lab coat, the oddity of his outfit was drowned out by the likes of his scars, they went down his face and across his neck.

"I just want to talk."

"What?"

"Here is an idea for you two, just leave. There probably isn't a racker in you two so just go off into the world and do what you want. They will just throw you back in the cage if you hand me over to them."

"He's got a point."

"Go tell all the other monsters about this, it's a win win, I get off scot free and you two get to go off into the world."

"Yeah."

My hands went for my belt instead of the pocket inside my button up, where my spell book was hidden.

"Now, I know a place where you can live in harmony and get some food from."

"Where?"

"The point."

"We got hit by goblins when we went there, that means a dragon must be there."

"Wrong again, you see, me and my associate have killed the dragon. That means that the goblins no longer have an anchor to immortality. They can't dissipate and show up later."

"With this knowledge, what is stopping me from just killing you and going on my merry way?"

"Because, I have a great big, monster dissipator carved into my chest. With a bump on it, you two and all your buddies will go back to the cages."

"You seem to have me beat."

They took me back to the goblin cage and I went to the cabin where a goblin sat at the entrance with a spear. He had sunglasses on even though the cabin had only one door and no windows. 

"I have a proposal."

"We will not listen to a master killer like you."

"I know that you can't pledge yourselves to other goblins so I suggest that temporarily, your people pledge to me."

"Doing what?"

"Protecting me from those freaks out there and in exchange, you get to come back."

"Very well, I must give news to my brothers and sisters."

He went down the hole and I sat in a dark silence for a couple minutes before eight goblins appeared before me and bowed.

"We will have to take you up on that offer, master."

"I need you to scramble this sigil on trees all over the woods, at night preferably."

My shirt opened and showed the emergency sigil that I carved in my chest. They referred their heads back in shock as they saw the patterns of it and how it worked.

"We are happy to do so, master."

They left and I gave them some parting words.

"Use the gold to get some new clothes."

All of the goblins laughed before using their tiny hands to pull out their daggers and ran to the wall of the cabin and started to carve the sigil into it before they left.

"Hello, I've come to ask you some questions."

It was the scarred man.

"I actually have some questions for you."

"Well, mine first."

He sat in an eerie silence before someone spoke.

"They are?"

"Oh, right, uh, why are you doing this for us?"

"I want to hunt creatures."

"Right but ugh, I'm not a creature, just a scientist. Those seals or sigils or spells don't work on me."

"Well, I don't care for the likes of you in particular. Once you are out of the picture, I will pass the test."

The doctor left and went back to his cabin that was next to the cave entryway. All he was at this point was a roommate that didn't pay for rent.

"We finished master."

"Very good, there should be an archery practice spot nearby, go and take the bows and arrows. We will fire them into the sigils and fire them into the sigils. If that doesn't immediately get rid of them then we will retreat into the woods and fire at the sigils that you carved for in the trees. I also want the arrows that are not fired into the trees to be fired into the monsters."

"That is a very good plan, but how will we not die in the sigils explosions? We are monsters too."

"That is where I come in, you will come back to life around me so we will most definitely have a way of getting out of here."

"But where are we going?"

"We are heading to the nearby town of Amberlane."

It was a brilliant plan and I had no idea how I made it.

"Anything else master?"

"Gather all the goblins and meet me back here at the crack of dust."

It was fifteen hours since the test started and I had no food, little protection, and a camp filled with monsters that wanted to kill. When the goblin in armor came back to the cabin I had already finished reading the spell book and was in dire need of some sleep.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?"

It was the witch that I left dumbfounded via me giving her my phone number. I don't even know why, survival instincts must have taken over and I myself am a master of distracting people. 

"Any reason for why you are calling me at this time of night?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to say that I'm still in the woods and I am completely lost so can you help?"

"Ugh, are you hearing me fine?"

"Yes."

"Then head east, there should be a town nearby."

"Thanks, I owe you one."

"See you soon."

At least the only one with my personal contact didn't have to be in the massacre of the monsters.

"Master, we got the arrows."

"You're welcome."

"Very much so, but we need to get out of here now."

"Hit me in the chest, all those other sigils were the sizes of gloves to coins, this spans my entire chest so it should do everything for a good distance."

"Very well, the others are in the woods to the east."

He struck me in the chest with a mighty fury, almost like he's trying to avenge his fallen master but it ended with me getting sent a couple feet back and him into a cloud of dust before I stood and ran for the door. The camp that was once jolly with evil incarnate was now empty like the roanoke colony. A single werewolf with a silver ring and gym shorts walked towards me. 

"You…take…friend…you…not…FRIEND!"

He ran at me but my dagger had another sigil in it, engraved in dirt. The dagger made contact with his throat and he disappeared before I continued running east. Eventually there was a group of goblins in the woods waiting for me.

"About time, master."

They were obviously still sore about having their precious protector killed so I just ran the other way as the rest of the monsters arrived. Some were shot on site by the goblins, others shot at the sigils. The most bitter shot at the sigils early.

"I really wish you weren't so rude in your farewell."

"You may be a non-magical creature, but I'm a magician."

When the word, magician came from my lips it didn't mean the monster hunters, it meant the deceivers. The people who make the preciseness of the human mind and eye look like a drawing from kindergarten. 

"What will a couple eye tricks do to help you fight me? I have lived longer than any man and I will probably meet your grandchildren."

"No you won't."

My entire life was boring until two years ago when I was working an office job and hated my life. I made a deal with a mystery man and he gave me a life of adventure. Every day is a different adventure and with each coming day they all get crazier and crazier until one day I fought a pirate in front of a hillbilly. Whilst I worked that office job, I got bored and started to study the art of magicians and especially close up magic.

"What does that mean?"

"Check your pocket."

He searched his front coat pockets before going for the inside pocket. He pulled out an ace of spades that cut his finger and when he held it for twenty seconds it heated up and burnt his hand.

"That is the best magic trick I've ever seen."

When he looked up from the hurt cards he didn't see me. I had taken a left to the north and hid behind a tree. 

"This is the second."

"What was that?"

Why did I speak, that was a mistake from the bottom of my heart. The doctor came forward and looked right at me. He saw the tree I was behind and the town was another quarter mile from the likes of Amerlane.

"I know you see me."

"Funny thing is that I didn't before."

 My hand went for the dagger that hung in my belt. There was my blonde hair on the blade. I have a tendency of shedding my hair when I'm stressed.

"Well, have a nice night. I need to get some food and my body is not doing that well."

"Is it fatal?"

My body was still hidden behind the tree.

"Yes."

It was most definitely a trap.

"Then just walk back to the goblins."

He complied and I went to the east towards the town. I could see the lights from the town, a diner and a doctor's office. The town was the greatest, most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

I was out of the woods and standing in the parking lot of a small fast food restaurant with no idea that this place existed in my hometown.

"Hello, Angela speaking?"

"This is the hunter that you met in the woods."

"Oh yeah, what is even your name?"

"Well, my name is Karter, and I need to call in that favor."

"What is the wish?"

"Well Ms. Genie, I need to get a card and get to Danny Carpenter."

"My ex?"

"Wait, you dated him?"

"The guy who owns the junkyard by Quinn's landing?"

"Yeah, just get a car and come by."

She complied and came by the shop and picked me up.

"You know, those sigils hurt."

"They are meant for monsters."

"Being a witch makes me a monster, I gave my humanity for the power and now I'm a creature of the night."

"A vampire?"

She hit a junkyard.

"N-nn-no, I'm a witch. We just use magic and are, yeah."

"Well, is this Danny's house?"

"Why do you even want to be here?"

"Owes me some money."

I walked into the dusty junkyard as Angela sat in the car whilst my exploration commenced. Every second felt off as when I reached the house in the middle of the junkyard I saw that it was covered in white paint that was snowlike if it wasn't dirty and smeared in what I can only pray is dirt. 

"Hey Ribb, nice to see you at this time of day."

"You left me for dead."

"I was taking a bigger risk than you going out and saving you, they know me. I put them in the cage and you are the one that put them out."

"Well, I was given a stick that only worked on tricksters, they were not there."

"Nobody told me about the monsters that would be there. All I know is that they would know me because I'm the primary when it comes to bringing in living freaks."

Danny was wearing sweatpants and a black tee to a local rock band. All that wasn't changed from when I last saw him was his baseball cap that looked eight sizes too small and his white and black beard. 

"Well, you could have given me some pointers."

"It was out of my hands, if you want to blame someone, blame yourself, nobody handles them but you."

He was right, I wish I saw that sooner.

"Well, I met someone along the way."

It hit me that I couldn't just hand over Angela to Danny, they didn't know of the other's secret life.

"Who?"

"Angela."

"Well, she is an old acquaintance of mine and I prefer that you don't tell her about our secret lives."

"Too late, she already knows monsters are after me."

"Well, does she know about anything else?"

"No."

"I don't want her to feel scared about the fact that I am a monster hunter that has killed creatures and sometimes people."

"I thought we only killed monsters?"

"Well, sometimes a shapeshifter is very convincing."

The spotlight was on Angela now and she was hysterical.

"Just make sure that he doesn't kno-"

"Know that you are a magic vampire that is secretly protecting a trainee for the monster hunters?"

"Yes, and you're not my type."

How old was she? Saying she was my age would be a blatant lie and it would not be that far of a stretch to say that she was Danny's age.

"Well, I need to get going. Do you have anywhere to stay?"

"My niece lives nearby, I think she's alive."

"Just stay with us."

So I had two people that unknowingly wanted to kill one another under the same roof and I was going to pretend that I was just another junkyard worker when people came around.

"Can I have a say in who lives under my roof?"

"You owe me one, this is my one. I will stay here until another roof shows above my head."

"Can I stay here as well?"

"Sure Angela, but you will stay out of our affairs. We work, we come here, and we sleep. We are not a family, we are a bunch of roommates. Got it"

"Got it."

"Say, you said that I'm your partner, will that have any effect on the future of our partnership?"

"NOT IN FRONT OF HER."

I knew that he wasn't speaking but his sea green eyes were just looking into my soul, every second was the purest form of torture that I'd ever felt. The three of us spent the next three months living with one another. Training for the next job, the monsters never came back. 

"You know those sigils hurt?"

"What do you mean those sigils hurt, they don't hurt you when I throw them at you?"

"Well, they don't make me dissipate, they just hurt even though there is no evidence they did."

"Well, that sounds like you have a problem."

"Don't be sarcastic with me, I know that you are a monster hunter, I could tell Danny and he would think you're a freak and kick you out."

"Well, I'm a hunter that thought that you were cute so I decided to let you live and now I can say that you were a monster to the higher ups and get the kill order."

"You are a hunter, I am a witch. Only one of us is fifty. If you think you know your landlord then you should change who you live with."

"I know he's a man with no shame in what he does and I know that he has a dark side."

"Well that isn't enough to make up for the fact that I dated him for nearly a decade."

"I got your money."

Danny came in with a bag of money. As soon as he did so, Angela waved her hand and an old lady with curly white hair and baby blue eyes appeared.

"Hi Danny, so nice to see you again."

"On the contrary, but anyways, here is your money Karter."

Danny pushed the bag of hundreds to my chest before he went down to his room in the basement.

"You know, you should open up to Danny."

"No, he will call me a freak and try to get away."

I sat the bag of hundreds on the floor before I sat myself in a chair that was mildly comfortable. 

"Well, get a job, get a house, get a life."

"As for you?"

"I'm training right now and awaiting further orders from the higher ups."

The mailman never stopped by, I think he would be afraid of what I would do to him in order to even out what he did for that bonus. 

"Emergency, come on."

Danny ran out of his room and into the parlor. 

"Do we have a job?"