"It's your hair that's the problem!" Naruto barked back without missing a beat.
What problem? Me? No, you're the one with the problem!
Still, he refused to hide. If he beat Kakashi head-on, Sakura would definitely be impressed. That was the shopkeeper's advice, after all: girls like guys who can protect them. Strong = safe = boyfriend material.
So yeah, Naruto had already decided—he wasn't just getting one bell. He was taking both. One for him, one for Sakura.And Sasuke? Well, Sasuke could go back to the Academy and sulk for another year.
With that shining future playing in his head, Naruto roared, "Yaaaaaah!" and launched himself at Kakashi.
Kakashi didn't dodge. He just casually reached into his pouch.
Naruto froze mid-charge. "Wait. He's… pulling out a weapon?!" He skidded back two steps, eyes wide, watching every movement.
"One of the three basics of ninja combat," Kakashi intoned like a bored sensei reading from a scroll, "Taijutsu. Let me give you a demonstration."
"…Physical attacks?" Naruto muttered, frowning. But the hand was still in the pouch. Naruto's brain went into overdrive: Yup. Definitely grabbing a weapon.
So he didn't rush in. Instead, he watched. Waiting for Kakashi to draw fully, when his stance would be open—when he could attack. That was the trick, right? Timing was everything.
Any real weapon user adjusted their grip instantly. That was how you spotted a pro. Rookies just tried to look cool, holding their kunai like an action figure accessory. And those types usually managed to injure themselves before anyone else touched them.
On the battlefield, even a one-second delay could get you killed.
Finally, Kakashi's hand came out.
Naruto tensed. Eyes sharp. Muscles coiled. Now!—
"…Why is that a book?"
Sure enough, Kakashi had pulled out Make-Out Paradise and was already flipping to the page he'd left off.
"What are you waiting for? Come on." He didn't even look up.
Naruto gawked. "B-but… that's not… a weapon?!"
Kakashi waved lazily with his free hand. "Relax. Reading while fighting you is fine."
Fine?! Naruto's jaw hit the dirt. "Are you serious right now?!"
"Absolutely despicable! I'll beat you into the ground!" Naruto roared, charging again.
His elbow shot forward. Kakashi sidestepped, still reading. Naruto snarled and whipped into a spinning kick. Kakashi ducked in a squat, flipping the page. Naruto hit the ground, sprang up, and threw a punch—
And hit air.
Kakashi had vanished.
A chill crept up Naruto's spine.
"A ninja never shows his back, idiot." Kakashi's voice came from behind. He was crouched low, palms pressed together in the Tiger Seal—except the book was wedged neatly between his hands.
"What?! That's the Fire Release seal!" Sakura gasped from the bushes. "There's no way—right? Against Naruto? That'd be overkill!"
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. He knew that seal. Fire-style. No mistake.
"Run, Naruto!" Sakura shrieked. "You'll die if you don't move!"
"Too late," Kakashi said flatly. Then his voice rose in theatrical gravitas:
"Secret Leaf Taijutsu: Thousand Years of Death!"
Pop!
The sound was… indescribable.
Naruto's face froze in pure, cosmic humiliation. His soul practically ascended from his body. And then—poof! His form burst into white smoke.
A shadow clone.
"Huh. When did he pull that off?" Kakashi mused. Even with his eyes, he hadn't caught the switch.
The Shadow Clone Technique—classic Konoha ninjutsu, invented by the Second Hokage. Unlike basic illusions, shadow clones were fully physical, conscious, and combat-ready. But they ate chakra like crazy. The kind of thing most shinobi couldn't sustain.
Which is why Kakashi blinked as the clearing filled with dozens—no, scores—of Narutos, each one real, each one yelling at the top of his lungs.
"Oh, for—this isn't the Shadow Clone. This is the Multi-Shadow Clone Technique. A forbidden jutsu." Kakashi's eye twitched. "Mizuki, you bastard…"
The technique was in the Book of Seals. Technically, Naruto had stolen it. But Mizuki was dead, the Hokage had waved it off, and Naruto's chakra reserves were stupidly huge. So here they were.
Dozens of Narutos descended like an angry tide. Fists, feet, elbows, and a never-ending torrent of loudmouth battle cries.
"Take this!""I'm the real Naruto!""No, me!""Give me the bell or I'll dispel you!""Shut up, you faker!"
White smoke puffed in bursts as clones vanished and reappeared.
Kakashi's book jiggled dangerously in his grip as he parried punches from all directions, assaulted not only by physical blows but also by the sheer wall of noise.
Even Kakashi nearly broke down under the combined power of a hundred Narutos talking at once.
From the sidelines, Sakura and Sasuke stared, jaws slack.
Naruto—the class dunce, the dead-last everyone wrote off—had filled the training field with an army.
Sasuke's teeth clenched. Impossible. He was weaker than me a few days ago. How did he… Rage flickered in his eyes. If Naruto could grow this fast, then he had no choice. He'd have to push harder, or he'd never get close to his real goal.
Meanwhile, one Naruto burst out of the smoke, waving a bell in his hand. "Ha! Got it! I got the bell!"
Chaos erupted instantly.
"Liar, it's mine!""No, I grabbed it first!""Hand it over, faker!""I'll dispel you!"
The battlefield dissolved into a shouting match between Narutos, each convinced they were the real one. Bells jingled, smoke rose, and Kakashi facepalmed behind his mask.
This… was his life now.