"Perfect chance!" Sakura burst out from her hiding spot, eyes locked on Kakashi.
Naruto had already managed to snag one bell, while Kakashi still had the other. Originally, Naruto wanted both, but of course one of his shadow clones had to scream about victory like an idiot. The result? The rest of his clones abandoned Kakashi and immediately started brawling with each other over the prize.
Seriously? We're the same person! Why are we beating each other up like rival auction bidders?!
Naruto wanted to cry, but his face only twitched. "Kakashi-sensei, I swear this is all a misunderstanding. You believe me, right?"
While dozens of Narutos were in a WWE-style battle royale, one clone was left standing awkwardly in front of Kakashi. Too slow to realize what was happening, he froze as Kakashi's eyes narrowed.
"Believe you? Doesn't matter. What matters…" Kakashi cracked his knuckles with a grin. "…is that you enjoyed 'beating me' just now, didn't you?"
Naruto instinctively nodded, then shook his head furiously. Nope, bad time for honesty! Retreat! He leapt backward—except, wait. Why was he hanging midair like a sack of rice?
Ah. Right. Kakashi had him by the scruff of his neck.
"Why so hasty? There's still one bell left. Let's find somewhere nice and quiet. I'll even teach you the 'secrets' of taijutsu." Kakashi carried him like a disobedient cat, strolling away from the chaos.
Meanwhile, the other Narutos had escalated from shouting to full-blown street fighting. Their attacks were so vicious it made even Sasuke wince from afar.
Shadow clones might not be "real," but their pain sure was. Every time one poofed away, the memory of that beating got beamed straight back into Naruto's head. Sasuke imagined getting dozens of death-experience downloads in just a few minutes and shivered.
What an idiot. He can't even control his own clones. He clicked his tongue as Sakura charged recklessly toward Kakashi's exposed back. "Tch. Obvious trap. Too impulsive."
Still, Sakura went for it. She crept up behind Kakashi, who had Naruto dangling upside down from a rope on a tree.
"I literally just told you not to expose your back to an enemy," Kakashi scolded Naruto. "And what do you do? Turn around and leap at me like an idiot. Unbelievable."
Naruto's brain: Don't think about it. Don't think about it.Naruto's mouth: "Damn it, I get it already!"
Kakashi sighed, waving a hand in front of him. Naruto's eyes drifted to the familiar little orange book swaying in his sensei's hand.
"Wait a second," Naruto blurted. "My shopkeeper has that same book! But he never lets me read it. Says I have to be an adult first. What's in it?!"
Kakashi coughed violently. The shopkeeper said what?! Who the hell was this mysterious store owner Naruto kept talking about?
Before he could process, the sound of whistling metal filled the air. Kunai and shuriken rained in, forcing Kakashi's body to stagger back—only for it to explode into a puff of smoke and reveal a wooden log.
"Damn. Substitution jutsu," Sasuke muttered, already vanishing into the trees.
Sakura gasped, realizing Sasuke's position had been exposed. She bolted after him in worry, forgetting completely about poor Naruto, who was still strung upside down and yelling at his clones.
"Hey, I'm the main body! Put me down already!"
"Wrong. I'm the real one." Another Naruto walked out of the shadows, flashing a hand seal.
One by one, every clone on the field popped into smoke, choking out the upside-down Naruto. When the haze cleared, the "real" Naruto stood proudly with a bell in hand, already drooling at the bento box sitting temptingly on the ground.
Meanwhile, Sakura sprinted through the forest, desperately chasing after Sasuke and Kakashi—until she lost them both.
"Where are you? Sasuke! You can't be… no, he's too strong, there's no way—"
A sudden voice whispered: "Behind you."
Sakura spun and froze. Kakashi was perched casually on a branch, one eye gleaming. Leaves swirled around his figure, then—poof. Gone.
"What? Where—what just happened?!" Sakura clutched her head, panicking.
Then a weak voice moaned: "Sakura…"
She turned hopefully. "Sasuke—!"
But what she saw wasn't her cool, brooding crush. Instead, Sasuke's body was shredded with kunai, bleeding, arms stretched toward her.
"Sakura… save me…"
Her scream echoed through the forest before she collapsed, fainting.
From above, Kakashi closed his book with a sigh. "Huh. Maybe I went too far."