The next morning, before dawn even thought about showing its face, Naruto dragged himself out of bed, threw on his backpack, and stumbled toward the training ground.
The bag was stuffed full of ninja tools, just like the teacher had ordered. He hadn't even eaten breakfast. Not that Naruto usually ate breakfast—but still, the tragedy.
When he arrived, Sakura and Sasuke were already there. The three of them had gathered for one reason: today's make-or-break test.
Sasuke, of course, was his usual brooding self. Cold eyes, poker face, that "I'm too cool for you peasants" vibe. No one could tell what was going on in his head. But he was confident—today was just the Genin selection test. With his strength, how hard could it be?
Sakura, on the other hand, was already stressing herself into knots. Sure, she'd done fine in class, but she knew her combat ability wasn't great. If she failed and got separated from Sasuke… her heart ached at the very thought. For her, this wasn't just an exam—it was the test of love.
And Naruto? He was passed out on the ground. Dozing. Why? Because last night, Kazane Arata—the so-called "shopkeeper sage"—had roped him into gaming until stupid o'clock. By the time Naruto had crawled into bed, the sky was already getting light.
Now he was a zombie. Otherwise, he'd already be picking fights with Sasuke and hitting on Sakura. Instead, he just drooled in the dirt.
Not that he was worried. Arata had told him the "secret" to passing this test. As long as Naruto followed the instructions, he'd ace it.…Except the last time Naruto followed Arata's "advice," he got pummeled. But hey, maybe this time would be different.
The sun crept up, hours passed, and just when the three of them were ready to declare Kakashi dead, the man himself strolled into the training ground, hands in pockets, waving like it was no big deal.
"Yo. Good morning, everyone."
"Morning?!" Naruto sprang up like his butt was on fire and jabbed a finger at him. "You're late, dattebayo!"
"Too slow!" Sakura chimed in. Even Sasuke's frown looked darker than usual.
Kakashi just gave a lazy shrug. "A black cat crossed my path. Had to take the long way around."
Yeah, no one bought that.
Kakashi scratched his head. He could make up more excuses… or just not bother. After all, he was the teacher. If he wanted to show up hours late, who was gonna stop him? Exactly.
He pulled an alarm clock out of his bag, set it down, and got serious. "Here's today's test. You've got until noon to take these bells from me."
He jingled two bells in front of them.
"And whoever fails to get one—no lunch."
"What?!" Naruto squawked.
Kakashi ignored him. "Not only that, but the losers get tied to those logs." He nodded toward three wooden posts in the field. "And you'll watch me eat my bento in front of you."
Right on cue:Guuuuuuuu…
Three stomachs rumbled in chorus. Naruto slapped a hand over his face. Sakura wanted to sink into the earth. Sasuke… pretended he wasn't hungry, pride practically stapled to his forehead.
"Oh, that's why no breakfast," they all realized at the same time.
Sakura raised her hand. "Um, sensei? There are only two bells…"
Kakashi's eyes curved like he was smiling under the mask. "Exactly. At least one of you is guaranteed to fail. Maybe all of you. Losers go back to the Academy."
He let that sink in before casually adding, "And yes—you're allowed to use weapons. Unless you're ready to kill me, you won't even scratch me."
Sakura panicked. "Isn't that dangerous? What if someone gets hurt?"
"Yeah!" Naruto agreed instantly. "Even a blackboard eraser is hard to dodge!"
He was, of course, referring to yesterday's prank. When Kakashi finally showed up at the classroom, Naruto had rigged an eraser to fall on his head. Kakashi hadn't even dodged it. Smack. Right on the mask.
Sasuke and Sakura had been annoyed too, so they hadn't stopped him. Result: their teacher ate chalk dust.
Kakashi's reply was merciless: "In this world, the weaker you are, the louder you shout."
And with that, the real test began.
The fight started with Naruto snapping.
"The last one? Did you just call me the last one?!" His face burned as he pulled out a kunai and charged.
But before anyone could blink, Kakashi was behind him, twisting his wrist and pressing the kunai to the back of his head. "Did I say start?"
In an instant, Kakashi let him go. Naruto stumbled forward while Sakura and Sasuke instinctively stepped back.
"What was that speed?!" Sakura gasped.
Even Sasuke's smirk faltered, sweat trickling down his temple. "So this is a Jōnin…"
Kakashi's gaze softened. "Oh? So you're willing to kill me, too? I think I might actually start liking you kids."
Then his tone sharpened. "Enough talk. The test begins now!"
In a blur, all three Genin scattered into hiding.
"Hm. Hiding your presence? Not bad," Kakashi thought. He was about to start tracking them down when a voice rang out.
"Oi! Let's fight fair and square!"
Naruto had walked right out into the open, arms folded like some kind of badass.
"…This idiot," Sakura groaned from the bushes.
"…Unbelievable," Sasuke muttered from the tree branch.
Even Kakashi tilted his head. "Uh, Naruto… are you okay in the head?"