It was the dead of midnight and Aqua was puking rainbows outside the guild. She couldn't find Crim anywhere and began walking drunkenly all over town until a passing guard told her he seen a red dressed man around the stables. She made way and found Crim collapsed on the ground of what looked to have been a terrible battlefield.
Leech don't die on me! [[Sacred heal]]
The spell healed Crim wounds immediately and he got up with a headache.
Ugh finally. I was kissing the ground for hours.
What happened? Was it the demon king army, the Eris cult, the frogs, who did this to you?
Is nothing like it. I just took too lightly the instructions that said. The chain grows at the owner's health expense, and nearly killed myself practicing.
You were practicing?
Yes, since I obviously am not going to get out of this mess with your help. I figured many things about the way the chain worked today. So I went the extra mile and learned everything I could about it while you drank our money.
Aqua looked away at the accusation.
Anyways, how much was left after you had your beer therapy?
Tehe, about that. [Sticks tongue out cutely and hands over two coins].
Crim What is this?
Well, you see…. They had this awesome high-quality liquor, and it was so good and before I knew about it I was handed the bill and….
[Buddha Face] It's been bothering me for a while, but what is the value of these coins again?
Ehm this are just two USD Eris, remember when you got like forty of those from the morning mugging?
USD Eris? What's that a dollar? What even is an Eris?
Well you see, there was this time long ago when the currency was just regular Eris. But a king of yore that was driven insane by finance management said the currency had two zeros too much. So he decided to change it to a more, simpler currency from a neighbor country that had two less zeros to work with. The USD in its name stands for Universal Standard Dellar which is what the new currency they adopted was called like. The king was able to save a lot of headaches and manage his kingdom much easier. Only the puritans ever had an issue with his decision. He died saying. ''As a matter of fact you should thank me, but even if you don't your welcome plebeians.'' Though technically you could say those two coins do hold the same value as two regular dollars.
I see, and how much did we get paid again? I heard we got extra for exterminating nearly two dozen frogs and solving the problem of the frogs mating season. We were even paid for the meat the guild carted from the plains. But oh my ditzy me I can't seem to remember the number I overheard while I couldn't enter the guild, what was it again punish-able goddess?
[Cutesy fidgeting] 1400 USD Eris…
EXACTLY! What did they sold you a barrel of Hennessey XO? How did you even spent a month finance of a college student in a single night?
But, but I'm a goddess. I shouldn't have to work for this. Everyone should be spoiling me and offering me free food and drinks, this is just so unfair!
The high maintenance goddess covered her eyes in an attempt to mask her crocodile tears.
Crim [Sights] You know what I don't give a crap anymore. I'll worry about the tomorrow when it comes. Let's go to sleep, I negotiated a stall in that stable thinking your party would last all night. Tomorrow we won't eat anything unless we work alright.
Yay! Let bygones be gone and live life for the moment. Those are more or less the doctrines of the sect that worships me. You'll make an excellent Axis cultist Leech.
That sounds more like something Pitbull would say, but I am not letting it be gone. My doctrines just tell me the more I whine about it the longer it takes to get inside that stable.
Oh so you're just tired. Me too, it's been a long day. I never thought I'd see the day when I would get eaten by f-f-f-frogs.
They made for the stable while Aqua tried to control the chills she was feeling over her body.
Oh man at last. I been waiting all day for the chance we could go to bed. I nearly lost control of myself several times and went in public. But now I'm glad I managed to keep it under control.
You, you been implying some really dangerous things since this morning. Just what exactly do you think you're going to do with a holy goddess?
(Tale as old as time itself. The hungry wolf eats the retarded rabbit.) Here we are. [Opens stall]
Ew it smells like horse shit in there. Aren't you ashamed to make a goddess sleep in a place like this?
Would you like to go over the topic of our finances?
Nooo wait I'm sorry! A haystack wohoo I love it!
Oh you're not sleeping on the haystack. You are sleeping on this.
Chain begins to spill on the ground leaving loud clanking sounds. The chain spills until there's enough to make a stack as big as the haystack. The chain stack levitates and pushes the haystack to a corner of the stall, and it places itself on its place. The chain stack begins to adjust slowly until it looks like a painful bed of spikes with serrated chain pillows and a bed blanket of agony on top. Aqua goes from blue to white after seeing the scene and tears form in her eyes.
H-hey you're joking right? You're not suggesting I lay down there, right? I'm sorry; I profusely apologize for all the trouble I cause. Please spare me.
Ahahahaha I just wanted to see your reaction. Its set to pain of the light breeze remember? Look it even bounces. [Jumps on the bed of spikes]
After a couple light bounces, Crim lay on the bed looking comfortable and began stretching and yawning.
It feels like a cloud and it even fans you to keep you cool. It's honestly the best thing I ever seen since we came to this world.
That's a joke, right? If someone walked in on us, we'd be teleported to the nearest asylum. This can't be real; something so painful can't be this— [Places hand on bed]
Aqua felt the cool, soft windy sensation she fell this morning when she hugged Crim arm. In the world she precedes this could only be described as the feeling of putting your hand out the window at forty miles per hour. It feels as if her hand is comfily resting on wind rather than steel and spikes.
I think I'm in love with this chain.
I know right. Now get in here, I don't bite so there's no need to be shy.
No thank you. If you were a virgin neat with no guts then I wouldn't mind sleeping next to you. But I seen your life flash before my eyes and your definitively not safe to sleep around. Make me a spare bed please.
(Oh my. The retarded rabbit can be sharp when she wants.) I am so sorry my goddess, but this actually takes I bit of effort to pull off. I don't think I could fall asleep if I had to support two beds like this. Now come, it feels divine when you pull the blanket on. [Slaps a side of the bed enthusiastically]
Every ounce of my divine being is telling me to run and bring the hunter, but I guess you deserve a vote of confidence after saving me from the frogs today.
Aqua went outside the stall for a moment to put the blue pajama Luna had gifted her. She returned to the stall and noticed Crim wide awake as if he didn't even try to fall asleep while she went out to change.
You're really giving me the creeps of a lifetime. Promise me first you won't try to pull anything. If your word is even worth something.
(My word is as cheap as chicken wings.) Aw common who do you even think I am? You think I had nine girls living with me and supporting me if I was the scum that would try something like that? I am a saint—
A loud ban on the stall wall was heard, an angry voice that shouted something like. ''Keep it quiet, you want me to beat you up!"
Eek! I am sorry.
Said Aqua, Crim however got up the bed and silently walked to the stall next door. The chain connected to his arm spilling more and more as it trailed behind him with a metallic sound. Aqua could only hear voices coming over after she heard a door being jerked open. "What you winna fight punk!? AHHH IT'S YOU!" And another more well know voice. "Oh nerd how's it going? You got any lunch money since we last met this morning?" And the shriek of a little girl and the sound of a relentless blow barrage going as if someone was playing a drum. Crim returned shortly after looking a little guilty.
Hey so… I met the guy from this morning and took his new coin purse… But he had just one of those coins and I felt kind guilty since I've heard it takes at least three to buy breakfast around here… So I gave him ours and… Could you please heal him for me? It was different than this morning, it fell like I was beating a defenseless kitten and… I felt sorry for him…
Aqua was a little shocked at the sudden revelation made be the man she deemed unrepentant. She went over and healed the man whose face looked like a purple snail shell, but the man seemed like he still would remain unconscious for the rest of the night. She came back to their stall afterwards and noticed Crim tucked inside the bed with an expectant gaze set on her. He was quick to recover from guilt. Aqua covered her breast with her hands and backed a little before she realized she had no other choice but to trust the man. She went to bed and tucked herself on the far corner of the bed. Away from the man who had picked the other side of the bed, a third person could fit in between the two with that space. Aqua turned as to give her back to the man who was facing her way all smiles. She began to close her eyes when she heard a low clanking metallic sound. She opened her eyes immediately and turned around to see the man. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, other than he had his eyes closed and a shameless grin he couldn't wipe of his face, but everything else looks strangely normal.
(Must have been my imagination.)
Aqua turned away from the man and just after closing her eyes, she heard the low sound of chains clanking and felt a slight rustle under her. She opened her eyes again and turned to face the man. He had his eyes closed still but his shameless grin was shaking by the corner of his mouth as if he couldn't hold his laughter anymore. Aqua notices that strangely he was closer than before, even if he was still practically sleeping on the border of the bed as he was before. Aqua knew he would deny anything she accused him off and turned her back on him once again to sleep. The moment she closed her eyes she heard the clank metal sound once again.
(Prey acquired.)
Crim retracted enough of the bed chains to reduce it from queen size to single. He lustfully reached for Aqua breast as she was facing the other way. [Slap] A heavenly hand slapped his sinful hand. He tried to reach again and. [Slap] He was a little hurt; she was really strong for some reason. Aqua still made not a single movement and just remained facing the other way, he couldn't see the face she was making or if she even had her eyes open, all he could see was his effort being effortlessly slapped away. He reached for her butt this time. [Slap] He lost his cool right there.
Hey you're kidding right? You didn't seriously think I was going to let you off after all the shit you put me through? And you have the gall to resist?
Aqua offered no response and continued to pretend she was asleep while facing the other way.
You ungrateful little. I'll show you what happens when you mess with the Big Bad Wolf! [Jumps Aqua]
[[GOD BLOW!]]
GUHURG! [Flies off the bed and slams on the wall, KO]
Good night Leech [Rotates herself in the bed and comfortably falls asleep]