Later that night
And so we heard her out and how she was just doing the services the priest where too greedy to do. Since blue cyclone here made such a big deal over it, she's now stuck on cemetery purifier duty.
Keep quiet you! I can't believe you forced a goddess like me to let an undead get away.
Which is why I bought you this. [Pulls out bottle from a bag]
[Gasp] Can I have a taste—
No.
Eh don't be a party pooper mister Crim.
Leech what's the meaning of this? This, your giving me an offering. Are you for real? [Excited]
I know when I've crossed the line. You were in your best behavior and let a friendly monster get away with her life, therefore you deserve a reward for your tolerance.
But what brand is this? I've never seen it before, it says Spirit Suba 96% alcohol…. Hey.
What? I thought you loved alcohol.
Isn't this a little too strong? You're not scheming anything after this are you?
(Am I really that obvious?) Of course, not silly, I just said I'd wanted something strong and the owner must have thought it was for me. But I can take it off your hands if you don't want it.
Aqua snatched the bottle immediately and began to hug it like some long lost treasure.
So as for the rest of the history. We just went back empty handed because there really wasn't any zombie maker to defeat. Aqua leveled up two levels with the zombies, but we couldn't get paid because we really didn't defeat the target. Afterwards the blockheaded blond charged me for the tab that Aqua incurred while I went out to perform good deeds, and the rest of the money my grandma left me was spent on this apologies bottle. I got like tenth bucks for a breakfast of three tomorrow. How was your day Megumin?
I met with a rival from the crimson demon village and she agreed to come with me on my daily explosion routine.
Aw a friend that's so nice, tell her she can come eat with us wherever she wants, the leech will be paying of course.
Yes… She just got to Axel today since she was lagging behind, but now that she's here. I shouldn't have many problems securing a food source. What will you two do tomorrow?
Well we need some money anyways, and then we'll see about traveling since the archpriest is useless even for leveling up.
Hmmp! [Pouts] I told you I'm not like regulars adventurers. My stats were maxed from the beginning; don't drag me down to your pathetic standards.
(This just means your defense loses to a girl you should have 88 levels on, and worst of all your underwhelming intelligence won't rise up no matter how much you level. God I want to cry.) [Cries]
Hey Leech, why are you crying?
[Wipes tears] Forget it, at least we don't have to worry about leveling you up. We'll make some hard cash tomorrow on the hardest quest of the board, and then we see what's next. Since we been stuck getting our bearings for two whole days now.
Well thanks for the meal, I'm going to bed now.
Oh right Megumin, where are you staying?
Huh wasn't it obvious? At the same stable as you two. I woke up this morning to a delicious smell, so I followed and found you two.
Oh I see, wait isn't it dangerous to sleep in the stables? I heard some guy even tried to make a move on a girl here.
Aren't you that guy?
You be quiet you ungrateful swine.
Eh sleeping on stables is par with being an adventurer, but if it worries you so much. The stables where emptied this afternoon. All the adventurers made a killing on the cabbage harvest and left the place. Is only us three here right now.
(Oh that's good, that's really good. No one around to save the mermaid when the shark comes jawing down on her.) Well sleep well Megumin.
Hic, good night Megumin. [Drunk]
(Yes, good night little girl, now begins the good part. Obviously, I didn't buy that bottle as no shit apology or anything. Apologies, who does that? I just need the mermaid drunk enough to make bad decisions and stay asleep when the succubus comes for my dream. Some spineless nerds would have thought one plan compromises the other but I don't see how. With this drink I can ensure the mermaid gets drunk enough this time around to make a bad decision, and once I'm done eating she'd easily fall in deep sleep for me to get the second course. It's foolproof, and even if the mermaid fights back all I have to do is let her be and I still have a consolation prize waiting for me afterwards. Some spineless nerds would say my greed will be my undoing. But I digress. Nerds!)
Crim and Aqua stayed outside talking until she gulped down the entire bottle, and so they went inside the stable. Aqua went to change on her pajama while Crim walked inside the stall and chanted replay for the bed and chanted for pain of the bright candle in four single links of the chains each folded and rose around the corners of the stall. Giving the stall a romantic atmosphere as the bed was dimly illuminated by the links. Aqua drunkenly backpedaled after coming across this scene but Crim put his hand around her waist and pushed her inside with a smile on his face. Aqua quietly stood in front of the bed for a moment before shrugging it off and she drunkenly plopped in the bed facing the left side. Crim enthusiastically lay on the other side, facing her way of course.
(Oho she's not resisting even when I'm this obvious, I can only take that as a YES! All my pain and suffering have finally paid off. Today I'll sleep with a goddess, and I'll become a legend that transcends mere mortals. Today the hungry shark arrives to eat the drowning mermaid, but just in case. [Reaches for Aqua butt, mumbles under his breath] [[Chains of Calamity Replay—
And just as his sinful hand was about to grope the goddess, he notices a golden light flaring from the other side, and the girl quickly turns around.
[[God Blow]]
[[Cocoon]]
A powerful blow hit a ball made of chains and sent it off the serrated bed and into the wall, the crash destroyed the wall and the cocoon ended on the stall previously occupied by Shirpecs.
I knew you were up to something you filthy leech! Don't underestimate a goddess alcohol tolerance!
And I just knew you'd try something like this bitch! That shit can kill me!
Keh [Aptitude] a death or two can cure idiocy, but don't worry; I can resurrect you and kill you again until you learn.
Oh that was it you spoiled ass goddess! Do you have any idea what happens if you kill me? Of course you don't you have the IQ of a goldfish, but you know what fine. I was just harmlessly playing around before, but I'll get serious now. [[Pain of the Lead Whip]]
Crim lashed at the ground with the chain. It created a sound that resembles a real whip much more than it would a chain. He stood tall releasing the menacing aura of a final boss, lust gleaning in his eyes.
What now my goddess? Don't think you just take me out like yesterday; I recorded plenty of defensive and punitive commands while I was at the cemetery. This time I am getting my well deserve meal—
[[Sacred Spell Break]]
The floating chain fell to the ground in an anticlimactic way. After a moment of silence Crim began to sweat profusely.
Please wait my holy goddess, please wait a moment. [Sweats] I die, I really die if you hit me with another one of those, please wait!
[Mercilessly comes closer] [[God Blow]]
PUHURG!
Crim flew off outside the stable and the chain jerked him inside. Now partially blocked off its power, the chain couldn't grow longer anymore and the weight generated by the stack forming the bed, cut his momentum short in midair and he slammed KO right by the stables door.
Keh [Spits, attitude] sleep well sex offender leech.
And so the useless goddess returns to bed.
Crim didn't know what had happened or how he did it, but he had returned to the checkered room in which he first met Aqua, only this time there was just his chair and nothing else. He looked around confused before the darkness of the room emancipated and he could see many Aquas happily skipping over to him one after the other, they formed a line that stretched beyond the dim light sight of the room as more Aquas came happily skipping inside one after another. He sat there confused as the first blue haired goddess happily said.
Hey Leech I got myself a debt of one billion USD Eris this morning.
Huh?
And then she happily skipped away before the next stood in front of him.
Hey Leech. I'll be sleeping with Megumin and Darkness from now on, so remember to put on the blankets before sleeping so you don't catch a cold.
Wait.
The cycle continued and the next Aqua took her turn.
Hey Leech, remember how my intelligence won't raise anymore.
Please stop.
Hey Leech. The truth is, I'm lesbian. And I'm going to marry Luna tomorrow.
Please stop I am begging you.
Crim continued to see Aqua come and go bringing him his most deadest bad news, until the last one had her turn and disappeared into the darkness of the room. Then he saw the dim light over his head glowing brighter, extending over and pushing the darkness back, clearing the surroundings just slightly more for him to see what lies beyond the dark. The walls of the room where covered in blood. Thorns adorned the floor beyond the checkered tiles, the Aquas that happily skipped over and later disappeared in the darkness where all there, as they formed a pile of lifeless doll like bodies just on the side of the room they had disappeared in the dark. The scene horrified him. He knew something was terribly wrong. Then Crim heard a heartbeat, it brought his attention behind him and he stood up, knocking his chair down. There he saw a colossal shadowish hand that resembled his holding string like chains and a girl supported by the chains like a lifeless puppet. There he noticed one last Aqua, this one with red hair and naked, blood dripping from all over her body. The black Chains of Calamity painfully wrapped around her, tearing at her skin and holding her up like a puppet, her sky blue irises now blood red as she said to Crim in a lifeless monotone tone.
? ? How could you let this to happen to me?
Please stop. Anything but this!
Crim became a mess and collapsed on the ground crying, sobbing, his hearth pumping in agony inside his chest.
? ? You knew this would happen to me. You always did.
[Tears swell up] I never meant it to be like this. I swear! I thought everything would have been!
He couldn't finish the sentence, his quilt eating at him from the inside. The girl on the chains just casted her sight at the ground to not look at him anymore and weakly raised one arm at Crim. A dark light began to form in her hand.
[[Cursed Highness Manslaughter]]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KYA!
[Gasping for air, deep breathing] The stables, I'm at the stables, you who are you?
A-a-a-a am sorry sir. I was trying to get you the dream you asked but something went terribly wrong and you began to have a nightmare and I couldn't stop it and. I am so sorry!
A nightmare? [Breaths in relief] Oh thank god, thank god so much.
Loli Succubus: I am so sorry sir, if I was more experienced, I could have done something about it, I am sorry!
Alright, alright don't worry, I think I know why this happened, it's alright. Just get out of here before—
Hey Leech, what's with the screaming? Goddesses need their beauty sleep—
Aqua!
Crim was elated. Seeing the useless goddess fine and well nearly makes his hearth skip out of his chest. He ran over to her planning to hug her in his most warmest embrace.
[[God Blow]]
PUHARGH!
The goddess of violence hit him square on his happy face and sent him flying out the stable only for the chain to jerk him back inside once again. He slammed on the floor and his erratic emotions somehow allowed him to remain conscious this time as he stood to his knee, face purple like a grape.
WHAT THE HELL AQUA!?
You must really like the taste of my holy fist if you're assaulting me twice in the same night. Huh, is that a devil that's next to you?
Hiiii! [Terrified]
AHAHAHAHA! I was a fool! I was a damn fool!
I don't know what sort of deal you two been having. But no servant of mine will be making contracts with the devils so long as my eyes shine blue. Move over. I'll perform her last rites.
WHO THE FUCKS YOUR SERVANT!?
Is alright sir, this is all my fault to begin with. If only I wasn't so inexperienced.
Run. [Boxing stance]
Eh?
Run. There are things in this life that must be protected at all cost, and young maidens like you are one of them. Go.
If you think I'll let her, get away, then think again. What are you even going to do? Your chain is still off, and I can shut her down wherever I want!
Good, I never needed the chain to begin with. I should have relied on the strength I built up fighting on the streets from the very beginning. You saw what I did with that buffoon yesterday, and I'll do it to you in a hearth beat—
[[Strength]] [[Defense]] [[Speed]] [[Magic]] [[Blessing]] [[Strength]] [[Defense]] [[Speed]] [[Magic]] [[Blessing]] [[Nature Beauty]] [[Strength]] [[Defense]] ….. [Spams ever more]
Wait-wait-wait-wait stop let's talk about this! She's a good girl and I still haven't recovered from before. Please stop I'll die. I'll die seriously for real this time! Wait! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
That night the stables rumbled and a little devil was able to get away while a should be devil got the beating of his life, and the useless goddess who remains pure for one more night now returns to the comfy bed of spikes inside her stall before gracefully falling asleep.