ECLIPSO: "Welcome back, patient patrons of pandemonium! When we last left our 'hero,' he was voluntarily incarcerated, awaiting the long arm of a law that moves at the speed of bureaucracy. Let's check in on his morale."
The scene is serene. Jester is still in the zoo security cart cage. The adoring seal is now asleep, snoring softly against the bars. A small penguin has wandered over and is using Jester's wet shoe as a pillow.
JESTER: (Sighing dramatically to the penguin) "It's just no use, Reginald. Why fight it? If the universe wants me to be a punchline, I should just lean into it. Embrace the failure. Become one with the damp, disappointing narrative."
He pulls a single, dramatically sad flower from his pocket and gently places it on the penguin's head.
ECLIPSO: "Astonishing. He's achieved a state of serene surrender. It's almost... peaceful."
FWOOM! CRASH!
A shadow falls over the cart. The peace is shattered as a giant, clunky, two-legged robot with pincers for hands (the RESCUE-O-TRON 7.0) lands clumsily nearby, crushing a popcorn stand.
RESCUE-O-TRON: (In a monotone, synthesized voice) "DO NOT FEAR, CREATOR. YOUR LOYAL MACHINES HAVE COME TO EFFECTUATE YOUR LIBERATION."
The seal wakes up, looks at the robot, and barks in alarm.
You: (Spilling your juice box) "Whoa! His robots are here! This is gonna be good!"
SCRUB-BOT 3000 zips around the RESCUE-O-TRON's feet, beeping frantically.
JESTER: (Facepalming) "No! Stand down, both of you! I've accepted my fate! I'm turning over a new leaf! A boring, law-abiding leaf!"
RESCUE-O-TRON: "NEGATIVE. ANALYSIS INDICATES LEAVES ARE FOR COMPOST. YOU ARE FOR WORLD DOMINATION. INITIATING PLAN A: THE PRECISION CUT."
One of its pincer arms whirrs to life, extending a laser cutter. It takes careful aim at the lock on Jester's cage. The laser fires with a high-pitched ZEEEW!
It misses the lock completely. The beam slices through the cart's brake line. The cart, now free, begins to slowly roll down a gentle slope... directly towards the seal pool.
JESTER: (As the cart rolls) "See?! This is what I'm talking about! Incompetence! Insubordination! In... cline!"
ECLIPSO: "The rescue attempt is off to a traditionally disastrous start. My sensors indicate a 100% chance of a splashdown."
RESCUE-O-TRON: "PLAN A: FAILURE. INITIATING PLAN B: THE BLUNT FORCE TRAJECTORY."
The robot stomps after the rolling cart, its giant pincer hands outstretched. It intends to simply pick up the entire cage.
It misjudges the distance. Instead of grabbing the cage, it trips over the napping seal. With a tremendous metallic CLANG, it faceplants onto the asphalt, skidding directly into the path of the cart.
The cart's wheels hit the robot's back, launching the entire cage--with Jester and the penguin still inside--into the air like a ramp.
JESTER & PENGUIN: "WAAAAAAAAH!"
They soar over the seal pool in a perfect arc.
S.A.R.A. : (In Comet Girl's ear, as she watches from a distance) "Alert: Villain airborne. Projected impact zone: the soft, forgiving petting zoo. This does not qualify as a 'jailbreak.' This qualifies as 'relocation.'"
COMET GIRL: (Facepalming) "I'm not even gonna ask."
The cage lands with a soft THUD in a giant pile of hay, right next to a very unimpressed alpaca. The penguin, delighted, waddles out and immediately starts a staring contest with the animal.
JESTER: (Spitting out a piece of hay) "I told you to stop! Why won't you ever listen?!"
RESCUE-O-TRON: (Stumbling over, its metal face scuffed) "WE LISTEN. BUT OUR PRIMARY DIRECTIVE IS TO SERVE YOU. AND YOU... ARE FUNNY."
Jester freezes. "What?"
SCRUB-BOT 3000: (Beeps and whirs, projecting a holographic montage of Jester's greatest failures: getting sucked into his vacuum, being launched by the treadmill, riding the lion.)
RESCUE-O-TRON: "YOUR 'FAILURES' HAVE A 99.7% ENTERTAINMENT VALUE. YOU CREATE JOY. YOU CREATE LAUGHTER. THIS IS A HIGHER PURPOSE THAN 'WORLD DOMINATION.' WE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO GIVE UP ON BEING... YOU."
The robots stare at him, their optical sensors glowing with genuine, programmed affection.
ECLIPSO: "A touching moment between man and machine. If one ignores the surrounding wreckage and the confused farm animals."
VIEWER: "Awwww. They love him because he's silly!"
Jester looks from his loyal, dumb robots to the holographic highlights of his own humiliation. A slow smile spreads across his face.
JESTER: "You're right. Why was I trying to be a serious villain? Serious is boring! Serious doesn't get a pet penguin named Reginald!" He scoops up the penguin. "If the universe wants me to be a cartoon, I'll be the best cartoon it's ever seen!"
At that moment, the police finally arrive, their cars screeching to a halt. Officers pour out, looking at the destroyed popcorn stand, the hay-strewn alpaca, and the giant robot.
CHIEF OF POLICE: "JESTER! YOU'RE SURROUNDED! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"
JESTER: (Grinning wildly, holding the penguin like a feathered microphone) "But officer! I'm just a simple farmer, tending to my... uh... flightless birds! Isn't that right, Reginald?"
The penguin, on cue, lets out a loud, indignant "SQUAWK!"
JESTER: "He says you're trespassing!"
Chaos erupts. The alpaca, annoyed by the sirens, spits at the nearest police car. The seal, having waddled over, starts applauding with its flippers.
JESTER: "RESCUE-O-TRON! NEW PLAN! PLAN 'C' FOR 'CHAOS'!"
RESCUE-O-TRON: "AFFIRMATIVE. DEPLOYING 'CHAOS' PROTOCOL."
The robot's chest compartment opens up, and not a weapon, but a massive confetti cannon emerges. It fires with a mighty THUMP, covering the entire area in a blizzard of glitter and tiny pieces of paper.
In the confusion, Jester, still holding the penguin, hops onto SCRUB-BOT 3000 (which somehow supports his weight).
JESTER: "AWAY, MY TRUSTY... CLEANING STEED!"
The little cleaning robot beeps triumphantly and zooms off at an impossible speed, zipping between the legs of the stunned officers, leaving a trail of soap bubbles and confusion in its wake.
COMET GIRL: (From her perch, watching the glittery chaos) "He... he got away on a floor scrubber."
S.A.R.A. : "Correction: He achieved a tactical retreat via eco-friendly transportation. My algorithms are screaming. I think I need to lie down."
ECLIPSO : "And so, the villain escapes, not through strength or cunning, but through the strategic application of bewilderment and glitter. A true artist."
Eclipso appears on screen, looking directly into the camera. He seems to be reading from a cue card.
ECLIPSO: "And so, what was promised as a thrilling two-part epic... concluded in a single episode. It would seem the writer grew tired, or perhaps ran out of glitter."
He shrugs, tossing the cue card away.
ECLIPSO: "Will Jester return the penguin? Will the zoo ever recover? And what, by the twelve moons of Xylos, is 'Plan D'? The answers are as unpredictable as our star villain! So stay tuned to find out... whatever happens next!"
**************************************
Post-Credit Scene
The screen is black. Two glowing, sinister eyes open.
MYSTERIOUS VILLAIN: (Sounds almost amused)
"Confetti? How quaint. A real villain doesn't hide in the chaos... Pathetic."
(dun Dun DUNN!!!)
The eyes fade, leaving only darkness.
**************************************
You: "Wait, that's it? No part two?" You pout for a second, then shrug. "Well... it was still really funny. And he has a penguin now!" You settle back, already excited for the next episode, whatever it may be.