ECLIPSO: "Welcome back, connoisseurs of confusion! Today, Eclipse City is blessed with not one, but two sources of beautiful bedlam! Let's survey the scene."
The camera pans over Eclipse City. In the central plaza, a trio of ridiculously dressed villains--calling themselves THE TROUBLE TRIO--are causing a scene.
SPLAT: A man in a paintballer's outfit firing globs of neon-colored goo that stick everything to everything else.
BOOM-BOX: A woman with giant speaker shoulders blasting obnoxious polka music that causes everyone to dance uncontrollably.
MR. MIME: A man in a full business suit and whiteface, silently and dramatically recreating famous statues... but using stolen streetlights and park benches.
They are, objectively, terrible villains.
SPLAT: "Tremble! For soon the entire city will be stuck in a permanent state of... stickiness! Mwahaha!"
BOOM-BOX: "[Blasting an accordion-heavy remix of a pop song]"
MR. MIME: (Strikes a pose holding a fire hydrant like The Thinker)
ECLIPSO: "Exhibit A: The Trouble Trio. Ambition: high. Threat level: decidedly medium. Their plan is less 'world domination' and more 'extreme public nuisance.'"
The camera then cuts to a nearby alley. Jester is peeking out, watching the chaos with a calculator in hand.
JESTER: (To SCRUB-BOT) "Perfect! While Comet Girl is busy dealing with those amateurs and their... polka-based crime spree, all eyes will be off the Eclipse City Gold Repository! Their chaos is the perfect cover for my genius!"
ECLIPSO: "And Exhibit B: The Jester. Seizing an opportunity amidst the chaos. A tactically sound, if inevitably doomed, plan."
You: "He's gonna try to rob the bank! But those other guys are so silly!"
Jester sneaks around the back of the massive, fortress-like bank. He pulls out a high-tech drill.
JESTER: "Observe, SCRUB-BOT! The Diamond-Tipped Ultrasonic Quiet-Drill! It will cut through this wall like butter! Nothing can stop us!"
He revs up the drill. It emits a powerful, high-pitched WWWWWWWWWOOOOOZZZZZZZ—
BWAAAAAMP! A wave of polka music from BOOM-BOX hits the alley. The sound waves interact perfectly with the drill's ultrasonic frequency.
The drill doesn't cut the wall. Instead, it causes Jester's shoes to instantly untie themselves. He trips and drops the drill, which then vibrates across the pavement and neatly drills a hole through a fire hydrant, which begins gushing water.
JESTER: (Soaking wet) "Okay... minor setback. Plan B!"
Jester decides to try the front door. He marches up with confidence, holding a device that emits a green light.
JESTER: "A Hypno-Ray! I'll just convince the guards to let me walk right in and—"
Across the street, SPLAT is having a firefight with Comet Girl. Comet Girl dodges a glob of pink goo, which sails past her and splats directly onto Jester's Hypno-Ray. The device short-circuits and emits a pulse.
The light hits a nearby pigeon, which immediately becomes convinced it is Jester's mother and starts cooing worriedly and trying to feed him a piece of old bread.
JESTER: (Pushing the pigeon away) "Mom, not now! I'm working! Ugh, Plan C!"
ECLIPSO: "The Jester's meticulous planning is being systematically dismantled by a level of incompetence that isn't even his own. It's a fascinating, layered catastrophe."
Frustrated, Jester decides on brute force. "RESCUE-O-TRON! Initiate 'Knock-Knock' protocol!"
RESCUE-O-TRON: "AFFIRMATIVE." The robot stomps forward, its fist retracting to punch through the bank's reinforced door.
At that exact moment, MR. MIME, fleeing from Comet Girl, decides the bank's doorway is the perfect place to recreate Michelangelo's "David." He strikes the pose right in front of the door.
RESCUE-O-TRON's punch stops millimeters from Mr. Mime's nose. Its programming preventing harm to civilians, it freezes.
JESTER: "No! He's not a real statue! Punch him!"
RESCUE-O-TRON: "ERROR. TARGET IS ART. PRIMARY DIRECTIVE: PRESERVE ART. CALCULATING PARADOX..." The robot's head starts smoking again.
Comet Girl zooms past, grabbing Mr. Mime. "Sorry, Jester! Can't let you damage public art!" She flies off with the struggling mime.
Jester just screams into his wet, floppy hat.
Soaked, harassed by a maternal pigeon, and with a frozen robot, Jester has had enough. He pulls out his last resort: a giant magnet on a truck he "borrowed."
JESTER: "FINE! If I can't get IN the bank, I'll just pull the gold OUT through the wall!"
He activates the magnet. It whirs to life with tremendous power. It doesn't pull the gold out. Instead, it pulls every single piece of SPLAT's stray neon goo from across the city.
A rainbow tsunami of sticky goo flies toward the magnet, completely engulfing Jester, his truck, and his robots in a giant, multicolored, immovable lump.
The only thing visible is Jester's face, peeking out of the pink section.
JESTER: (Muffled) "...I give up."
You: (Pointing and laughing) "He's a popsicle!"
Comet Girl has easily contained the Trouble Trio by tying them up with their own goo and turning BOOM-BOX's volume down. She flies over to the giant goo-ball with Jester inside.
She tries to use her cosmic energy to melt the goo. It just makes it sparkle.
COMET GIRL: "Well, Jester. It looks like your big opportunity... stuck."
JESTER: "Oh, ha ha. Very punny. Just get me out of here. This strawberry-scented section is giving me a headache."
S.A.R.A. : "Analysis: Subject is approximately 87% high-fructose corn syrup. Suggested action: Lick. ...Kidding. Mostly."
As the city cleanup crews arrive with giant scrapers, both the heroes and the villains are left dealing with the same, ridiculous problem.
ECLIPSO: "In the end, the greatest villain wasn't a person, but a lack of solvent. A sticky, sparkly, polka-accompanied lesson for us all."
Eclipso appears on screen, holding a tiny jar of the neon goo.
ECLIPSO: "Fascinating substance. Non-toxic, biodegradable, and stubbornly resistant to cosmic power. I've submitted a patent for it as 'Universe's Most Annoying Glue.'"
He puts the jar down.
ECLIPSO: "Will Jester ever be truly free? Will the pigeon ever find its real son? The answers are, like our villain, currently stuck. So stay tuned for whatever mess comes next!"
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Post-Credit Scene
The screen is black. Two glowing, sinister eyes open. They slowly blink.
MYSTERIOUS VILLAIN: (Voice is flat, utterly unimpressed)
"Huh? What kind of episode this was? No cartoonish scenes, No Cosmic Power and Not even 1300 words are completed!"
The eyes close, as if they cannot bear to look upon the world any longer.
"What a Pathetic Writing!"
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You: "That was the best episode ever!" you yell, though no one can hear you. You're already trying to see if you can spot Jester's face in the giant goo ball in the background of the shot.(You Good in the head, Kiddo?)