The line was longer today.
Dozens of Lycarus were lined up at the gates of the glass dome, clad in full black gear with strapped weapons and the silver insignia of the howling wolf gleaming on their chest. Outside the gates, the blue and black mist clawed against the glass walls.
They were going back out into the mist again today. Trying to find a way to end this all before every one of us loses our minds and rots into monsters.
"Daydreaming again?"
The guard's disgruntled voice jolted me, slicing into my unwavering trance.
I stumbled and flinched back immediately on the floor, clutching the rags and waiting for the hit that was to come.
But the footsteps receded and passed by and I thanked the Gods that he stopped at that. Usually, any form of lagging would have led to more blood on the floor and earned me a trip to the nurse.
"Fucking rats." I could hear him muttering as his hands worked on cleaning his gun. "Bloody lot of them."
I gritted my teeth and looked away.
The floor was already clean. I knew it because my knees ached from scrubbing the same patch for over thirty minutes until the smell of bleach had wormed its way into my nose and settled comfortably. My fingers were red, raw and scraped and stinging from all the chemicals. The bucket of water kept beside me sloshed as I dipped and wrung out the rags in it again. It had turned black three corridors ago.
The Commander wanted it squeaky clean, they said. If I had my way, I'd have rammed my dirty rags down his throat and watched him choke on them by now.
Except I didn't have my way. None of us rats do.
"Squeaky clean he said," I whispered half expecting the guard to be at my neck again. "Maybe next time I'd be asked to polish it with my blood."
"What's that?," the guard bellowed and I zipped my mouth shut again.
I was hunched over and dragging the cloth through a crack on the stone tile when I heard the footsteps. Rough but slow and heavy, dripping with authority. I was afraid to look up, because sometimes, it was best not to. I had learned that the hard way.
The footsteps flew past me, the boots stepping right over the tiles I had just cleaned, trailing mud, no, sticky black sludge. I'd seen it before, back when I was still out in the mist. After the sky cracked open three years ago to let in the toxic mist and the monsters that came with it.
My eyes darted up just in time to glimpse thick black fabric rounding the corner. A long, heavy coat but not the standard ones. Something more weathered but expensive. Something only one person in the entire city of Kargahart wore.
I didn't even realise that I was standing until my feet took a step towards that corner, a strange whiff of power calling to me. My heart was beating too fast for some reason. It could have been from fear, but it felt like danger and desire at the same time.
"Why is he even down here?," I exhaled. "He never comes down here unless…."
A fist suddenly slammed into my shoulder and I went sprawling onto the floor, scraping my hands on the rough stone.
"Know your place" the guard sneered. "Don't tell me you were about to follow the Commander."
The Commander.
Oh God, it was him.
"Get on your knees again, you filthy scum," the guard barked again, his feet already raised to kick me. I curled my body in, quickly bringing my arms up and bracing for impact.
"Don't bother Rein, I'm taking her."
The voice made him take a pause and I took the opportunity to scramble to put some distance between us.
I looked up to find Lesra standing a few feet away, leaning against the stone wall with her signature smirk and blonde hair tied up in a ponytail. Finally, someone I could tolerate.
"For what? She's not going anywhere until she licks this whole place down"
Rein took another threatening step towards me, his tongue running over his lips, making me shudder. I needed to get away from here before he did something I wasn't waking up from.
"Yeah, well. It's testing day and she's the only one left. So we need to get moving fast. Or would you rather have a Lycarus coming down here to see what the fuss is about?" Lesra asked sweetly, twisting the blonde strands of her hair.
Rein opened his mouth to say something and closed it thinking better of it. He grunted and stormed away and before I knew it, a long breath that I didn't know I was holding blew past my lips.
"It's testing day already?" I muttered. It was the day I dreaded. Not something I could escape from but maybe I'd rather get another kick from Rein than go through that horrible ordeal every week.
Lesra helped me up and rolled her eyes. "Yes, already. Just like it happens every week, sweetheart. Let's get going before you miss your slot and end up on training duty again. But hey-," she paused, her eyes sparkling. "Your boyfriend's gonna be there."
My heart sank.
"Valden?"
"Uh-uh, who else?" she grinned, raising one eyebrow and flicking a piece of lint off her uniform.
No. Not him, please.
Lesra saw the sudden conflicting look on my face and sighed in sympathy.
"It's ok Maeve, it'll be over before you know it. As long as you're not late that is."
I nodded absentmindedly, wiping my cold wet hands over my tattered and stained grey uniform.
It was going to be ok. All I had to do was get tested and hope to mother hell that my mutation hadn't flared or gone off the charts yet. Easy peasy.
Who was I kidding?
Today was the day they peeled back your skin and looked underneath for all the damage. But some twisted part of me looked forward to it, curious, to see how much of my soul had been fractured and how much of a monster I had become.
I walked through the high-ceiling glass tunnel-like corridor that led to the testing dock, passing the guards in their simple black uniforms and strapped weapons. They were all Lycarus in training, not yet subjected to the drugs and experiments required to turn them.
Light shimmered against the full glass panels as I finally reached the metal door. My stomach clenched, I couldn't even think straight. It was testing day, yes. But there was one thing that I dreaded even more than that and nothing in the world could prepare me for it each time. And here I had to go through it again.
I paused for a second, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and pushed open the heavy door.