I wasn't a Saint, I did the worse, I turned my back on him, I left without looking back, the news of him dying hunts my dream every night, kairo Lin isn't just a he's my brother, but I turned on him, it took years for me to open the journal he gave me before I ran away, I could remember everything perfectly.
"You were there, jude. I just need you to testify that I didn't start the fire," he pleaded, and I looked down in shame, already knowing what I had in mind.
"The Croix don't want the truth. They just want to protect the heir, and if they know I know about the whole fire, they'll come for me too," I had said shamelessly.
"Jude, think of Aria. You told me you love her," he pleaded desperately.
"I am sorry," I apologised.
"You're a minor. The charges might not be that bad...."
"3 people died!" he screamed.
"It's not a trail ok, they want me to swear that I won't say a thing," he said desperately, trying to get me to understand.
"If you back me up, the cops can get me a protection or something, please," I frowned. He's still very naive if he thinks the cops will help.
"I can't," I said, and he nods, he pulled out his journal.
"Can you give this to Aria if anything happens to me?" He asked, and I nodded, taking the nearly burnt journal from him.
"Tell her I love her and that I am sorry it turns out this way," he finished, and I nod, he turned around and walked away from me forever.
I can't stop thinking of that day, and I read his journal, he really wasn't going to say the truth, he was going to protect the 12 years old fragile looking boy who reminded him of Aria.
I knew I have to give her the journal, atleast she'll know he didn't kill himself, he was killed, only for me to show up and the boy from years ago stood there beside her while she looked at him like he's the only air on earth.
"Stay away from her, or I will tell her everything," I had warned, and he didn't argue. Like a little kid, he just nodded and drove away.
I wanted to know what was going on in her head, I had to ask, and she clearly had no clue of what was happening or who Zayden was truly.
I went through the journal again, thinking, his words, his action, he wanted me to give it to her, it was his last request and I have to, I stepped out of the motel Kairo's last memory heavy in my hand.
I sat in Starbucks, staring out the window, waiting for her, Kairo's memory flooding my brain.
"Aria would love to be here," he mumbled, mouth full of burger, we always somehow ended up talking about her.
"We can bring her with us next time," I said, and he nodded in agreement.
"I don't think I can go away to college, I didn't apply anyway," he had said to me, and I was surprised he didn't apply.
"Why?" I had asked.
"Aria needs me here," he mumbled, dropping his burger in annoyance.
He always talked about his parents, how they behave towards them and how Aria gets the worse of it, he talked about having his own place and making Aria move in with him, so many things he planned but he never gets to live them.
"Jude." I looked up with a smile. She looked stunning as always, her hair wavy around her shoulders, eyes clear and innocent.
"Sorry I kept you waiting," she apologised, and I waved her off.
"Order something to eat," I said, and she shook her head no. Now that I looked at her closely, she looked like she had been crying.
"What?" I asked, and she smiled a smile that broke my heart.
"It's nothing, really. What do you have for me?" She asked, and I frowned.
"Aria?, did something happen?" I asked, and she shook her head aggressive. Her mouth formed a pout, all tell tale signs she was holding back tears.
"Aria?" I asked slowly, and she shook her head again, looking down.
"Did Zayden say anything?" I asked, and she bit her lip so hard I fear she'll cut into it.
"It's not like he owes me anything." she sniffed and then looked up at me.
"What do you have for me?" She asked, I pulled out the journal and dropped it on the table. She reached for it, but I stopped her.
"He loves you Aria, more than anything, all the time we spent together he planned on how to make things better, get tou away from your parents, every time he wants to do more but it never happened" I licked my lips wishing I can confess my own sin.
"Thank you," she smiled sadly before picking it off the table. Not a glance at it. She shoved it in her bag.
"I am leaving today," I said, and she nodded.
"Whatever you read don't meet Zayden alone" I try to hint her but her mind was totally not with me at the moment, she left and I sat there, feeling the weight on my shoulder heavier than ever, I can't tell her how I left her brother alone at the mercy of The Croix family.