I could Only do that, her words hurt, like knife piercing through my skin, her tears haunts me, every time, I pulled away and cup her face, she was frozen in place, still processing my sudden kiss, I have wanted to do that ages ago.
"Hate me while sticking right next to me" I pleaded. She looked me in the eyes, hers filled with tears, and my frown deepened.
"Why did you do that?, hurt me, stick next to Nova, defend her, did she give you the journal? Did she rip the pages? What's in the pages? Why….." I hugged her, all I can think about is the words written on them, his kind words towards me, his hurtful words of the world, his hopeful words for her, I shuddered at his blank eyes that flashed in my memory, I can't give it to her, I won't, I will let the guilt pile along with the fact that her brother was killed for me, I will shoulder that guilt if I can have her next to me, feeling her warmth, loving her until I feel empty inside, making up for what she lost.
We sat next to each other, silently, each lost in their own world, she eventually leaned on me and I thought she just did but she fell asleep, I wanted to smile at that but I can't help feel she's probably exhausted, I get exhausted after emotional battles and break down, I glanced at her, I couldn't see her face, I wish I could, carefully moving my arm, she slide down and I quickly held her head, she slept through, the smile I try so hard to suppress eventually slip through and I let it, feeling so at ease I shuddered but deep inside, deep within me, I know I am nothing but the worst person to walk the earth.
I placed her gently on my bed, it's either she's a heavy sleeper or she is very exhausted, I pulled hair away from her face, adjusting her, she looked cute, even though she looked sad even in her sleep, I want to take it away, like a creep I watch her sleep, feeling satisfied to an extent, feeling achieved to some point.
I was on my couch, watching the news in extreme low volume, well just staring at the screen to distract myself from letting my thought win, my phone ringed, I reluctantly look at it and felt dread, devil is calling, I didn't want to pick but I know he will show up at my doorstep and I can't have him anywhere near Aria.
"Come to the company tomorrow. There are some documents you must sign" he said before ending the call.
The day I woke up at the hospital, I had thought he was doing it for me, or the company, turns out he just got himself a puppet, I can't say no to him, not when I let him kill for me, I dropped my phone and went back to staring at the mirror, people think I own the Croix company, I don't, he does, well more than half of it, I just sit in position while he rules in the shadow, like the devil.
"Zayden?" I turned my head to see her standing there, awkwardly playing with the hem of her shirt, I kept staring, then she offered her hand.
"Can you give me the pages?" She asked, and I kept staring at her. It took a while for me to shake my head no, and she nodded.
"I was just wishing " she mumbled, looking down.
"Why won't you give it to me" she questioned.
"Because we both will end up getting hurt. It's better only I do" He explained, and she frowned.
" he set the fire" She stated, and I watched her head bow.
" That's why you hated me then, why you pushed me away, what changed?" She asked, looking back up, I let her do all the guessing, I didn't have to open my mouth to lie any further.
"I can't live without you, I don't want to" I responded.
"why?" She asked, and I chuckled, getting up, walking towards her.
"Do you doubt your beauty?" I asked in a whisper, my hand touching the side of her face, tracing her lips.
"You make me want to do nothing but protect you, take care of you, love you" I whispered, lowering my voice, all true, all sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
"I am sorry" she cried before hugging me, I hugged her bag.
"No, I am sorry" I whispered sincerely.
"No, I am really sorry for everything, kairo…." She let out a hiccup.
" That's enough crying " I mumbled hugging her to me, being the selfish, lying sinner I was, I let her warmth wrap around me, made me forget all the wrong I did and smiled sincerely.
The next morning I was at the company, she left for lectures and somehow I felt my mood improved, I went to my office and find the devil sitting on my chair, he looked up at me and smiled, offering me the sit he should be occupying, I didn't sit, he looked up at me and stood up, then walked to me.
"Does it upset you that I am sitting in your place?" He asked, and I smiled.
"I have lectures. What am I signing?" I said nonchalantly, and he chuckled.
"Before you sign that, I want to know how you'll go about it" he mumbled, and I frowned, about what?
" The pretty little thing you suddenly are interested in" I bit my lips, careful not to give anything away and keep ever curse word I have for him bottled up.
"You don't plan to send her to her brother, do you?" He asked. My heart skipped a beat.
"The documents " my voice was strained, and he laughed.
"Off course" he chuckled, giving it to me.
"I am keeping a close eye, let's not tell her unnecessary information " he smiled patting my arm before leaving, I let out a puff of air and reached for my phone, I didn't know my hand was shaking until I wanted to text her, but what will I text her?, what will I tell her to be careful of other then me.