How long has it been since then?
Ever since he passed, nothing seemed to matter much anymore. What did it matter that I was now a God? That title was meaningless compared to him. Decarabian's storms had vanquished him from this land; forced him away into a place even Celestia could not grasp. A space between space. A time beyond time.
It wasn't fair. Why did he have to go while I stayed? I'm just…me, and he's the hero that vanquished the demon lord.
It wasn't fair. Everyone else would come back in time, their souls preserved even if their bodies would fade into the winds. But he didn't have the same blessing, with not even a shred of his soul left to be returned.
It wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair.
IT waSN't FaIR.
I clutched at my human head; squeezed with all my might as if to attempt to shatter my own skull. Ever since that day, what motivation I had to stay awake crumbled. Mondstadt didn't need another god to govern them. It was better for him to vanish into the winds, even if his friends told me otherwise.
I knew better. They were just trying to be polite.
I tried anyway. Tried to emulate what he did. But all it did was make me feel worse, and before I realized it, what 'love' I had for this country I liberated had turned into something far, far worse.
I think I know what it is. It's the same thing Decarabian had scorned me of when I took his place. A form of Erosion that hammered against even the toughest of gods. A love twisted until it became deeper than the Abyss itself.
So I ran. Ran away like the coward I am.
Now I'm here. Somewhere. Nowhere. Hiding in this cave like some sort of vagrant on the run. And here in the darkness I could feel myself slipping. Thoughts I'd tried my hardest to forget were reappearing, and the urge to KILL was growing stronger and stronger.
I sniffled, uncaring for what little pride I had left. If only it'd been me that'd been vanquished instead of him. If only I'd perished along with Decarabian, truly freeing Mondstadt from the gods. If only.
If only I could cease to exist.
Those were the last thoughts I had before everything went dark.
.
.
.
.
.
[Anomaly detected. Integrating Genshin System-]
[Extreme desire detected. Integrating-]
[...]
[...Error. The System cannot harm the User. System must fulfill the User's greatest wish]
[...]
[New solution created. Deleting the existence known as Barbatos. Reintegrating-]
.
.
.
.
.
The first thing I heard as I awoke was the sound of crashing waters. I let out a small whimper as I tried to stand, but I could barely move. My arms felt more like rocks, and everything felt too heavy. All I could do was slowly roll around to catch a glimpse of where I was.
It was…the ocean? No, there was more land on the other side. A lake then? How did I get here? The last thing I remember was-
Was…
I…couldn't remember anything. What I did before coming here, why I was here, even what my name was. I couldn't remember a thing!
Panic gripped my heart then, and I bit my lip as I took a deep breath. I felt my chest caving in, burning with the need to know something about myself. Anything.
Then, as if called by my desire, something appeared.
[Venti - Wanderer
Body: 1
Speed: 3
Mind: 2
Elemental: 0]
I squinted my eyes. Venti…is that my name? It felt-, I don't know. It felt both right and wrong at the same time. And these numbers—even though I remember nothing, I strangely understood what they meant. I couldn't help but puff out my cheeks as I saw my Body. I wasn't that weak!
I shivered slightly as a gust of wind blew past me. I tried again to stand, but my body refused to listen. I dropped back onto the sands with a small sigh.
[User is now online. The [Beginner Package] is available for retrieval!]
I blinked. Beginner Package?
[[Beginner Package] accepted. Moved 1600 Primogems into the Inventory]
I was growing more and more confused as things went on, both at what was happening, and at the fact that I strangely understood it all. A sense of excitement rose in me as I received these 'primogems', and driven by instinct, I pulled out a star-shaped gem from…somewhere.
I stared at it in…awe? Slight annoyance? There was an odd mix of emotions in me as I stared at its glimmer, just in time for something else to appear.
[The [Gacha] is now available]
My eyebrow twitched for some reason.
[Standard Banner]
[Limited Banner]
[Equipment Banner]
[Talent Banner]
[Beginner Banner]
"That's different." I whispered, and then blinked. Different from what exactly? I tried to focus, but no matter what I tried, I couldn't figure out why I felt like so. My eyes were immediately drawn to the last option.
[Guaranteed 5★ in the 10 Pull. Spend 1600 Primogems?]
My mouth filled with saliva. Even if I knew nothing, something deep in me was screaming to spend all my Primogems. Something like this never comes around! God bless you MiHoYo!
I blinked. MiHoYo? What's that? No. No matter. My instincts were telling me to accept, and I eventually decided to agree.
[Rolling…!
Hamayumi 4★
Sacrificial Sword 4★
Feather of Homecoming 4★
Heart of Comradeship 4★
Crown of Parting 4★
Twilight Dreams 4★
Growth Soul 4★
Fated Meeting: Guizhong 4★
Windblume Festival: Resonance 5★
Wind Breathing: Divine 5★]
Something echoed within me, and a strangled gasp left my lips as I felt my mind shift. Knowledge flooded into me. Experience was drawn into my blank memories. My lungs burnt, as if someone had shoved molten iron into my chest.
I could only whimper as everything went dark.