In the vast stretch of the night sky, two figures soared under the stars. Well—one was flying on a motorbike with angelic, glowing wings, its engine humming softly like a divine beast.
The rider had white hair and an eyepatch covering his right eye. Beside him flew another man, standing on crackling lightning like it was solid ground. He had spiky golden hair, a white coat, and a black shirt with jeans, his aura practically screaming divine power.
The blond man scoffed, lightning arcing around him.
"I hate board meetings with humans."
The white-haired rider rolled his eyes, sighing.
"What can we do? We got this assignment from the others. Just do your job, Zeus."
Zeus yawned, stretching mid-flight.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just le—"
He suddenly stopped, eyes narrowing as he looked down at a quiet neighborhood below.
"Okay... now that is something."
The man on the bike slowed to a halt and turned toward him.
"What is it, Zeus?"
Zeus didn't answer right away. He was staring at one house, his expression unusually serious.
"Do you feel that, Odin?"
Odin climbed off his motorcycle, now equally focused.
A faint glow was pulsing from one house like a heartbeat, invisible to humans but blinding to divine senses.
"Divinity...?" Odin muttered, squinting. "Did Thor have another kid?"
Zeus shook his head.
"No. This isn't a demigod. This is... too pure."
The two gods stood in silence, the air between them charged. Something—or someone—divine was living in that house. But it wasn't part of any pantheon they knew.
And that was very bad news.
Inside a small, humble house, Michael sat in his room, aimlessly scrolling through his phone. His red hair with yellow streaks caught the soft glow of the screen, and his bright blue eyes flicked lazily between memes, rants, and cat videos—just another night of pretending the world didn't exist.
With a tired sigh, he tossed his phone onto the bed and stretched his arms.
"I should go to sleep."
The moment his head hit the pillow, the room was suddenly flooded with an intense white light, like someone shoved the sun into a closet and forgot to shut the door.
Two figures materialized in front of him.
Their presence was overwhelming—ancient, powerful, divine. Michael's half-asleep brain barely caught up as his body jolted upright in full panic mode.
His mouth fumbled the first thing that came to mind:
"What the hell?!"
The two strangers just stood there, ignoring him, silently studying each other like they'd stumbled into a surprise quiz.
Michael, on the other hand, was losing it.
"Are they robbing me?!" he whispered to himself, logic long gone.
Desperate and terrified, he grabbed the nearest thing: his school baseball bag. Not exactly a divine weapon, but it was the thought that counted.
He charged with the kind of energy only sheer panic could produce, swinging the bag in a wild arc toward the nearest intruder.
WHUMP.
The bag was instantly stopped. Not by a shield, not by magic—by a single finger.
Michael stared.
The finger glowed faintly with golden lightning. The man attached to it—tall, muscular, with spiky sun-yellow hair and an expression that was equal parts smug and amused—barely acknowledged the effort.
Michael stumbled back, adrenaline crashing.
"Oh god, I'm gonna die. I'm being robbed by supermodels. This is how it ends. Sorry, Mom and Dad..."
Then, the yellow-haired man smirked, brushing back his hair as sparks danced off his shoulders.
"Hey Odin," he said with a laugh, "I already like this kid."
Odin stepped forward, brushing some dust off his coat, his expression unreadable beneath the eyepatch. His gaze scanned Michael from head to toe like he was inspecting a new artifact in a museum—one that didn't belong in any known exhibit.
Michael held his breath.
"Is it… working with them?" he whispered, eyeing Zeus and Odin like they were part of a cult trying to convert him to some ancient pyramid scheme.
Odin sighed and crossed his arms.
"He's loud. But the divine signature is undeniably strong. Unaligned. Untethered."
Zeus raised an eyebrow.
"So… like a divine stray cat?"
"More like a glitch in the divine matrix," Odin replied.
Michael's brain screeched to a halt.
"Excuse me—what now?"
Odin turned his gaze directly on him, voice calm and stern.
"Michael, you are… a god."
Beat.
Michael blinked.
"...Nah."
He sat back down on the bed and pulled the blanket over his head.
"Nope. I'm hallucinating. This is what happens when you drink expired soda and scroll Reddit for six hours straight."
The blanket was yanked away. Zeus leaned in, his golden eyes crackling with power.
"Kid. You glow like a divine power plant. The fact you haven't accidentally smited a microwave yet is a miracle."
Michael stared at him.
"Okay, yeah, but—wait, what?"
Odin stepped in, tone patient like a teacher explaining quantum physics to a houseplant.
"We don't know which pantheon you belong to. Your divine essence… echoes all of them. Greek, Norse, Egyptian, Hindu, Shinto—you're registering as everything. That's not supposed to be possible."
Michael tilted his head.
"So you're saying I'm… what? The god of miscellaneous?"
Zeus laughed.
"The god of WTF, maybe."
Michael rubbed his temples.
"Okay, okay—if I am a god, then what? I get a throne? A fan club? My own anime arc?"
Zeus and Odin exchanged a look.
"No," Odin said.
"Worse," Zeus added. "You get paperwork."
"…What?"
"Welcome to the U.P.O.C.," Odin said dryly. "The United Pantheon of Gods. It's like the UN, but with more flaming swords and passive-aggressive immortals."
Zeus clapped a hand on Michael's shoulder, nearly sending him to the floor.
"And congratulations, Michael".
Michael stared at them, eyes wide.
"...I hate this timeline."
Michael blinked hard, pointing between the two figures like he was trying to swat away a hallucination with sheer denial.
"So, um... who are you guys, and how do you know my name? I know you're gods but like... how?"
Zeus gave a smug grin, adjusting his white coat like he was on a runway.
"I'm Zeus. And the biker-looking grandpa beside me? That's Odin."
Michael's mind flatlined.
"...Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope."
He pointed a trembling finger at Zeus.
"You look like an anime protagonist with drip! You are not Zeus!"
Then spun toward Odin.
"And you! You look like the leader of a divine motorcycle gang! Not the freaking All-Father!"
He buried his face in his hands.
"Next thing I know, Anubis is going to walk in wearing Crocs and a hoodie."
Odin didn't even flinch.
"He actually prefers Birkenstocks these days."
Michael looked up, deadpan.
"I hate everything."
Zeus burst out laughing, lightning dancing in his hair.
"What, did you think gods wear robes and sit on clouds all day? Come on, man. Gods evolve with the times. Adaptation is key to survival."
Odin nodded.
"Do you know how many centuries I had to put up with wearing fur and metal in 40-degree heat? Never again."
Michael shook his head in disbelief.
"Okay… okay. You're saying I'm a god, you two are real, and now I've got some kind of cosmic 9-to-5 job with immortal weirdos in a divine bureaucracy?"
Zeus grinned.
"Exactly! Except it's worse. There's a minotaur in charge of refreshments, and Shiva still refuses to attend meetings unless there's jazz."
Michael stared at the ceiling.
"...Is reincarnation still an option?"
Zeus shrugged, crackling a bit of lightning off his shoulder like dandruff.
"Depends. Do you wanna meet Hades right after us? He's been moody lately. Something about people not respecting the 'Underworld aesthetic'."
Michael paled.
"I—I'm good. No death today, thanks."
But then a more pressing thought hit him, and he looked between the two godly figures.
"Okay, but um... quick question. How am I a god? Like, did I eat something radioactive? Was I adopted by a lightning bolt?"
Odin let out a long sigh and rolled his one eye.
"Yeah, we don't know. That's kind of the freaky part. We're not even sure which pantheon you belong to."
Zeus added, stretching like he had all the time in the cosmos.
"Your divine energy is weird. It's like a buffet of everything—Greek, Norse, Hindu, Shinto... even a little Cthulhu in there, which is honestly concerning."
Michael blinked in disbelief.
"So I'm a divine glitch? A godly mystery burrito?!"
Odin nodded solemnly.
"A very spicy one."
Zeus grinned.
"Once we get to U.P.O.C headquarters, we've got a divine scanner that'll help us sort it out. Like a godly ancestry test, except with more explosions if something goes wrong."
Michael groaned, grabbing his hoodie and slipping on his red shoes.
"Fine. But if I find out I'm related to Loki or something, I'm suing someone."
Zeus smirked as a portal of gold and blue light opened behind him.
"Welcome to divine life, kid."
Michael looked at Zeus, deadpan, exhaustion and denial written all over his face.
"Can I just ignore this? Pretend it's a fever dream? Go back to school, maybe fail math again in peace?"
Zeus didn't even flinch. He folded his arms, lightning lightly sparking at his fingertips, and raised an eyebrow.
"You could. But then you'd be missing out on the part where you get a harem of shrine maidens once they start worshiping you."
Michael blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Then his face contorted into a look of betrayal at his own brain.
"...Son of a bitch. You got me there."
Odin snorted, climbing back onto his flying motorcycle.
"Mortals are so predictable."
Michael grumbled, pulling his hoodie up like it could shield him from destiny itself.
"I hate how fast that worked on me."
Zeus clapped him on the back with a little more voltage than necessary.
"Welcome to godhood, kid. Hope you like politics, paperwork, and people wanting to worship your feet. Sometimes literally."
Michael sighed.
"If this ends with me in a toga fighting a giant snake, I'm suing the universe."
The portal shimmered, swirling with divine energy. Michael looked at it like it owed him money.
Still, he stepped forward.
Because hey, harem of shrine maidens.
To be continued
If you couldn't tell this is rewrite because I wanma do to again