Trixy's Pov
The subtle sound of clinking glasses mixed with the low chatter of the guests, with the faint scent of wine and grilling food hanging in the air was all that could be felt in the cozy little Jazmin's Resto Bar, a nice simple place the Aunt Angelica and her husband, Uncle Ryan Viléz, owned. The establishment was, at little past eight, waiting for a crowd, with warm light flying out of the chandeliers, couples laughing in the closed booths and friends crowded together at big tables.
And there I was making my way up to the stage with my bandmates, clutching my guitar a little too tightly.
The impact was familiar and it was not just a night like any other. Just my lyrics go beyond the paper—the way they relate to my truth, my confession, my heartbreak that I have wrapped in the melody.
Yes, I have a band now. Its quite ironic, isn't it? I never thought I would stand on stage and call myself a singer, but somehow, the universe placed me here—with four girls who had become more like sisters than friends.
"Ready?" Luna whispered beside me, her fingers lightly touching the piano keys as if she was asking for bravery.
I gave her a weak smile. "As ready as I can be."
Being with them is such a privilege that I need to let you know these girls.
Luna Parker, my cousin, who was on the piano, was a first-year music student at Austen University. Luna had always been the reserved type, but when her fingers were on the keys, one could almost tell that she was narrating stories that words failed to capture.
Our electric guitarist, Sydnee Lim, was our teams sharp and fiery spirit. She was not only my classmate in Accountancy 101 but also our class president which was like saying she was very much capable of carrying the weight of responsibility like it were her second nature. She was the one that mostly when some troublemakers in the class made a lot of noise, she would rattle them off by throwing at them an angry look of the sort that only a tiger does. She was a little strict, but under that facade, she cared a lot.
Our rhythm guitarist, Erlyn Hollingsworth, was the one that made the perfect balance for Sydnee. She was pursuing Office Administration, a sweet and calm personality, whose playing added not only the warmth, but the complete sound to every song.
The drummer of our band, Phoebe Collie, always said that she was "nice when she was asleep" and that she was "forced" by her parents into Business Management, but she had the little carefree flame within her which was the source we turned to for encouragement when matters were heavy. I still recall the time when she said that she was "good when she was sleeping" and to be honest, that is the most authentic thing that I have ever heard from her mouth.
And then there was me.
Trixy Stacey Catarina Austen.
Second-year college student, Office Management major. Lead vocalist. Heart in shambles.
Guilty of only a little FALSE modesty, I also went on to micro-adjust the mic, tried to flash a decent smile to the crowd and said.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Jazmin's Resto Bar. We are The Five Roses."
The crowd's reaction was a mixture of applause and cheers, some curious, some already our fans. I tried to calm myself, but in an unsteady manner, I strummed my guitar once, and again. Then I drew in a deep breath and exhaled.
"I want to share a personal story tonight," I announced over the speakers, my voice carrying. "When we hear the words giving up, it usually signifies letting go of someone. But why? Why do people give up on the ones they love? Do they not realize how much it hurts? Or perhaps... maybe we give up as we are too tired of fighting our battles alone."
I stopped and felt the sharp pain in my chest.
"Giving up for me is not necessarily a sign of weakness. Sometimes, it is the only way to get the breath back after being suffocated by a certain toxic matter. Because love is not always about clinging—it is about deciding when to release. And today, this song is my method of releasing."
My bandmates gave me a slight nod and waited for my prompt.
"This song," I said quietly, "is called Left in the Shadows."
I played the first chords. My singing was faint and unsteady but improved with each verse:
🎶 I let you have parts of my heart,
Believed that love was where we start.
But I was only the bridge you crossed,
To find the one you thought you'd lost. 🎶
The music took me back to him... back to the time with him.
Jonas Valdoza.
My first love. My boyfriend for two years. The MVP of Austen University basketball team. My wish come true... or so it seemed.
I remembered the first time I met him, years ago in high school. Girls used to talk about him like he was magical. He was out of reach, sparkling on the court. I was invisible, just one of the crowd.
But fate was playing its games.
🎶 Your eyes wandered even as you held my hand,
Chasing a ghost while I tried to stand.
I was the front for the love you lacked,
The name you spoken but hers you wanted back. 🎶
Scarlett.
The Queen Bee of Austen University. Jonas long-term girlfriend. Everyone thought that they were perfect together until the day it was rumoured that Scarlett had dumped him.
I found him on the rooftop, then, by himself, shattered. I mustered up the guts to sit next to him. He talked, I listened. Day after day, his pain seeped into me like both poison and honey. And step by step, I thought maybe—just maybe—he was recovering with me by his side.
And then came the words which altered everything.
"Can you do me a favor?" he said, one afternoon, eyes red, voice soft.
"Anything," I'd have promptly answered, heart racing.
"Be my girlfriend."
My face lighted up. At last. The boy I had secretly and from afar, wanted me. My trembling hands as I said yes, and my lips which were not enough to show my happiness, were my response.
But then he went on.
"Be my girlfriend... as a result, Scarlett gets jealous. I desire her, Trixy, not you. Please, help me."
The words were like a blade slicing through my chest. Still, I lingered. Because, surely, if I loved him enough, he would notice me.
Ever been more than the outline,
Just a character in the drama of your life?
You constructed your palace entirely of sand,
Only I was the tide that ran down when fate allowed her hand to touch yours. 🎶
Two years gone. Two years filled with deceit masquerading as love.
We were to celebrate our anniversary today. I had purchased him a present, decorated it with shaky fingers, and ran to his class with a heart full of hope.
But what I discovered destroyed everything.
Scarlett.
In his embrace.
Soft was her chuckle, and her lips grazed his cheek as if she was at the right place. And maybe she always did.
I was immobilized. Air escaped my lungs. Nonetheless, I stepped forward, pretending a smile I did not have.
"Happy anniversary," I said, giving him the present.
He looked puzzled. "What are you doing here? Can't you see that I have a lot of work?"
"Jonas… it's our second anniversary."
He jerked his arm away as I tried to hold him back. Scarlett gave me a triumphant grin.
"I'm Jonas' girlfriend, Trixy," she said pompously, as if she had just won the game.
I felt as if all of a sudden my stomach went down. "Girlfriend? What do you mean?"
Jonas took a deep breath. "Do you remember the favor I asked you to do? Pretend to be my girlfriend so that Scarlett would become jealous? Well, it worked. I got her back. I'm telling you, I don't need you anymore."
My entire world fell apart.
I sent him silent messages with my eyes. Please choose me. But he only glanced at her.
🎶 Every night I thought belonged to us,
You were just counting down the hours.
Until her smile lured you back,
Leaving me hollow in the dark. 🎶
I blinked quickly, but tears still came down my face, hot trails down my cheeks. I loosened my hold on my guitar. My heart, which was already weak, broke apart.
With shaky fingers, I strummed the last chords, and the words I sang were a lament for my broken soul.
🎶 Though you held my hand, you looked away,
Chasing a ghost I was powerless against.
I gave you all my love but you let it slip through your fingers,
Now I'm just left to stand where the cold winds blow.
In the darkness.
Always in the darkness. 🎶
The last sound was barely audible. The silence was so heavy and long until the crowd finally applauded. But I didn't feel it. I didn't hear it.
With my guitar strap, I took off the guitar that I use, and with all my care, I put it on the side of the stage. My chest hurt, and my throat was on fire.
"This is our last song for tonight. Thank you, and good night," Luna announced swiftly and clearly, she was covering for me.
I walked down from the stage, head down, tears messing up my sight.
And at that very instant, I understood.
This wasn't the end of a show only.
This was the end of us.
I was not the main character of anyone's life.
I was only ever... left in the shadows.