In the dimly lit hut's kitchen, Baskara stood ready in front of the frying pan. Beside him, a plastic bag stuffed with millions of mosquitoes had piled up. Weirdly, the bag looked reddish and felt incredibly heavy.
Kinda like the weight of Kara's sins if they were ever put on a scale.
"Tem, why are these mosquitoes so plump? Holding this bag feels like holding water balloons," Baskara muttered suspiciously, staring intensely at the bag. (Don't worry, the plastic was clean before he stuffed the bugs in).
[Duh, obviously, Deadweight. Those are 'Premium Mosquitoes.' They just finished a literal blood feast on the entire village of Sukamaju before Cruel kidnapped them. Basically, their bellies are a cocktail of the Village Head's DNA, the neighborhood chief's wife, and even Mr. Taryo's goat. What did you think they eat? Fruit juice?]
"Geez Tem, I was just asking. If mosquitoes drank juice, that'd be called dieting! But wait, if I think about it... my blood and Cruel's blood are in there too, right?"
[Of course, Deadweight. If your blood wasn't in there, it'd mean even mosquitoes have standards and found you physically unappealing.]
"Are you insulting me? You're insulting someone as handsome as me? Are you blind? Can't you see this face? If my blood is in there, that makes me a mosquito's side piece!!"
[Huh? A mosquito's side piece? What do you even mean?]
"Well, the mosquito sucks my blood, then she has babies. That means those baby mosquitoes are mine, right? Not her mosquito husband's? Boom! I'm an interspecies home-wrecker!!"
[Can you please not be this stupid? I'm literally embarrassed for you.]
"Whatever, man! My mouth, my rules!!"
After that, Baskara went silent and stared at the plastic bag again. He froze.
"Wait... if I fry these, that means this is human blood protein? Whoa, crazy! This isn't just regular peyek, this is a blood-booster supplement!"
[Your sin balance is vibrating violently. Infamy points: -9000. Deadweight, aren't you tired of carrying sins this heavy? Whatever, you're the one dealing with it anyway. Just keep frying. Who knows, maybe this will be a new menu item in hell.]
Baskara didn't care. Humans are meant to sin, right? He wasn't naive enough to cry about it—crying doesn't change your reward points anyway. So, he started making the rice flour and coconut milk batter. Instead of peanuts or anchovies, he dumped a handful of those bloated mosquitoes into the mix, added some sliced lime leaves, and started frying.
SRENGGG!!!!
The smell coming from the pan was super weird. Savory and fragrant, but with a hint of irony/metallic scent (classic blood smell) mixed with lime leaves. Baskara's mouth started watering; the crackers looked so crispy. Once the first batch was done, he put them in a container.
"Damn! This smells amazing, Tem! I'm getting hungry," Baskara cheered, lifting a piece of peyek covered in crispy fried mosquito dots.
[You honestly have a talent for concocting poison. You'd probably thrive in the military as a bio-warfare specialist.]
"Shut up! You think I'm an object you can just sell off? You're no fun, Tem. Forget it, I've got a riddle for you since you love nagging so much."
[What riddle, Deadweight? A riddle about which widow is the prettiest to marry?]
"Hey! Don't just accuse me like that! I'm not girl-crazy!! Fine, I'm in a bad mood now!!" Kara turned his face away from the system.
[Aww, look at you sulking like a toddler.]
"Yeah, 'cause you're annoying! I'm done talking to you."
[And yet, you're still talking.]
Kara's face turned bright red from embarrassment.
"Forget it, I'm tired!!" he snapped while focusing on pouring the batter into the hot oil.
[Why don't we do an 'At Least' battle, Deadweight? It was trending on that one app a while ago.]
"At Least? That's so old, man! That was months ago! But whatever, I'm bored anyway. I'll start! Listen up, get your ears ready!"
[I'm a robot. I don't have ears,] the system snarked. Kara rolled his eyes.
"If not ears, then turn on your speakers or whatever so you can hear me!! Ahem!! I'm starting."
"At least I have a physical form. I can eat, drink, hang out, breathe. Slay!" Baskara shouted while flipping the peyek so it wouldn't burn. Not only was he frying crackers, he was frying the system's feelings.
[Oh, so we're talking about physical forms now? Fine, you asked for it. At least I didn't die a pathetic death getting crushed by a neighbor's laundry rack with a pair of panties stuck on my face. Slay!]
Baskara glared at the system. How dare this system bring up his biggest shame.
"At least I wasn't born from minimum wage money! Slay!"
[At least I've never scammed anyone. Slay!]
"At least I've never given someone a gift that was just the smell of satay without the actual satay! Slay! "
[At least I've never hugged a power pole for a box of knock-off milk. Slay!]
"At least in my first life, I was born in a normal world, not a crazy one like this! Slay! "
[At least I'm grateful for a second chance instead of just racking up sins like you. Slay!]
"At least I—"
[Deadweight, do you smell... the scent of immorality?]
The system cut him off, leaving Baskara confused. The scent of immorality? Does sin even have a smell? News to him. Kara sniffed the air. He didn't smell sin, but he did smell...
"Crap!!! It's burnt!!!!" Baskara panicked as he saw his peyek had turned pitch black like charcoal. He rushed to drain them and quickly poured more batter.
"Damn, it's burnt. What a waste."
[Just let it go, Deadweight.]
"You think letting go is easy?"
[Don't be dramatic. This isn't a movie or a novel. You're being such a drama queen.]
"Who's being dramatic? Besides, learning to be sincere isn't easy, dammit."
[Drama King.]
"Quiet, stop talking." Baskara continued frying. When he was done, he stood up to bring the peyek inside. Just as he turned around, he was startled by his younger brother standing in the kitchen doorway, nose twitching.
"Bro... what's that smell? Why does it smell like... a ritual sacrifice?"
"Oh, El! Perfect timing! Here, try 'Big Bro's Innovation Peyek.' It's high-protein, keeps your eyes sharp and your body strong!" Baskara shoved a piece in front of Cruel's face.
Cruel stared at the peyek blankly. He was grossed out, honestly. He knew it was mosquitoes. He knew they were full of blood. But because his brother cooked it, he just grabbed a piece and ate it without a word.
CRUNCH!
"How is it, Dek?" Baskara asked nervously.
Cruel went silent for a moment, his eyes suddenly turning a dark reddish hue.
"Good. Savory. It tastes like... deep-fried grudges."
Baskara breathed a sigh of relief.
'See Tem? What did I tell you? My cooking is the best in the world,' Baskara thought proudly.
[Pfft, getting cocky over that? Sure, you're a genius at cooking... cooking the most abnormal things. Everyone else makes peyek with anchovies or peanuts, and you use mosquitoes. So illogical. Oh, by the way, here's your sin report. Sin Balance: About to explode because it exceeded the limit of sanity. Congrats, you are officially a cannibalistic fried-snack mogul!]
'Explode? Please. Just wait until I find a way to make money, then it'll really burn. Hey Tem, this is what you call "Profit Seeking," boss. If you're looking for "Loyalty Seeking," then I'm your man,' Kara bragged, only to be met with the system's blank stare.
In the afternoon, Baskara opened his "Sacred Khodam Peyek" stall in front of his hut. The price was cheap, but the requirement to buy made the villagers want to pray for their lives. Anyone who wanted to buy had to either answer or listen to a lame pun from the fake shaman.
The first customer arrived, a middle-aged man named Mr. Jundap who was craving savory snacks.
"Ki, let me get two bags."
Kara stared at him intensely.
"Wait, answer this first. Why do mosquitoes suck blood?"
"I don't know, Ki. Why?"
"Because they can't smoke cigarettes, it'd give them asthma! Hahaha!" Kara laughed loudly by himself, while Mr. Jundap could only give a sour smile as he took the snacks and paid.
Not long after, a young man named Galih showed up looking like he had a massive headache (rumor has it from gaming and reading novels too much).
"Ki, one bag please. My head is killing me." Galih looked pitiful.
Kara grinned wide. "Oh, perfect! But answer this first. What medicine likes to slap people?"
The guy thought hard. "Uh... what? Powder medicine?"
"Wrong! The answer is... Paracetam-POW!" (Parasetampol).
SLAP!
Kara mimicked a slapping motion in the air with enthusiasm, while Galih just stared blankly, holding back his headache.
[I swear, Deadweight, even as a robot, I feel my self-esteem dropping just hearing your jokes. Please stop before I go on strike.]
'This is called a marketing tactic, Tem!! Luring them in!!!'
Miraculously, despite the "mental" toll, the peyek sold like crazy. The villagers who ate it suddenly felt refreshed due to the hidden 'blood transfusion' they got from the fried snacks.
In fact, a week after Baskara started selling, a weird phenomenon occurred. Sukamaju Village was officially mosquito-free.
No more annoying buzzing at night. Because the villagers were so moved that they could finally sleep in peace, they actually raised money to build a Giant Copper Mosquito Statue in the middle of the village square. These villagers were truly something else.
"We must honor the service of our little heroes who have gone... wherever they went. Perhaps they have moved on to a better place," the Village Head said during the statue's inauguration while wiping away tears.
The villagers bowed their heads solemnly in front of the mosquito statue. It looked exactly like students at a Monday morning flag ceremony, except there was no flag.
What's worse, they had no idea that millions of those "heroes" had ended up as crispy crumbs in their own stomachs.
Meanwhile, at the village border, thousands of mosquitoes from the neighboring village could only watch from a distance, stunned.
They designated Sukamaju Village as a "Death Zone" for the next century.
There was a warning written on a banana leaf: "Do not enter! There is a crazy shaman there who fries our grandparents into snacks!"
Many mosquitoes who actually wanted to migrate there for prey changed their minds because they were terrified of becoming a meal.
Many children and grandchildren of the fried mosquitoes sobbed, mourning their ancestors who met a tragic end at the hands of Baskara.
On the other side, the culprit himself, Baskara, was currently sitting on his porch with his brother, busy munching on the last piece of peyek.
"Bang, the mosquito stock is almost out. Tomorrow, let's harvest green flies at the market. I think fly peyek sounds like a better challenge."
Baskara swallowed hard.
"Whoa Dek, flies aren't full of blood, they're full of bacteria! We'll give the whole village mass diarrhea!" Baskara couldn't believe his brother's mind was even more wicked than his own.
Cruel stared at Kara with those cold, piercing eyes, making Baskara shiver.
"It's fine. Then you can sell 'Khodam Diarrhea Medicine.' We profit twice."
'Tem... my brother is definitely a spawn of the devil, no doubt about it!'
[I never said he was an angel or a mosquito, did I?]
The system replied while busy eating a piece of peyek with its mouth. (If you're wondering how it can eat, it's because it forced Baskara to feed it; it wanted to know what the mosquito snack tasted like).
"I was just saying, jeez! Fine, here, taste it!!" Baskara stuffed the system's mouth with peyek, earning a sharp, cynical glare in return.