That night, Baskara's hut was suddenly filled with the sound of chk-chk-chk. Every corner of the walls, from the living room to the bathroom, was packed with lizards that looked bone-dry and severely malnourished.
Well, obviously. Their entire food supply had been turned into crispy crackers in the villagers' stomachs—all thanks to Baskara.
"Tem, look at that. The lizards are literally protesting. Their faces look as pathetic as yours when I don't give you money to buy your boss's underwear," Kara teased while watching a limp lizard dangling above the door.
[That's because you've destroyed the food chain, Deadweight! You've created a mass famine in the small reptile world. Your sin balance is now branching out! You must take responsibility! This is a violation of animal rights!]
"Relax, Tem. Enjoy the ride, don't be so cranky. I've got a new business idea. Instead of letting them die for nothing, I'm opening an International Lizard Museum! I might even export them; I heard dried lizards are a hit abroad!" Baskara started daydreaming about his nonsensical business while putting on his "CEO face," only to be met with the system's blank stare.
Without wasting any time, Baskara immediately launched his mass "breeding" operation.
Instead of feeding them mosquitoes (since they were extinct), he fed them the leftovers from yesterday's peyek flour. As a result, the lizards didn't get healthy—they became obese. They were so fat that their bellies literally dragged on the floor when they walked. And if you're wondering how he fed them... he hand-fed them one by one. Crazy, right? Talk about being extra.
It didn't take long for the news to spread. Sukamaju Village, which was already buzzing over the mosquito statue, was now in an uproar because Kara's hut was crawling with lizards. The neighborhood moms—especially Nyai Mangkududo—were panicking like they'd just seen a flash sale. Seriously, it's just a lizard, not a Komodo dragon.
"MAS KARAAAA! WHY IS THERE A LIZARD THE SIZE OF A CROCODILE ON THE WALL?!" Nyai Mangkududo screamed while jumping onto a table in terror.
She had originally intended to deliver food to her "crush," but the moment she stepped inside, she lost it. She ended up chucking the food through the hut's window. It wasn't even her cooking; she just ordered catering and claimed she made it. Typical.
Baskara stepped out with his signature narcissistic flair, wearing black sunglasses.
"Chill, Nyai. Those aren't regular lizards. Those are 'Khodam Lizards' from my private ranch. This is the Sukamaju Export Museum! Five thousand for a photo op. For international exports, contact my agent, El!" Baskara pointed to his brother, who was busy prepping bamboo cages. El could only resign to his fate.
"Bang, are people in China actually gonna buy these, or are we just gonna get beat up?"
"They'll buy 'em, El! Trust me! We'll call it a health supplement: 'Happy Reptile Extract'."
[System: I can't do this anymore. My Host has officially lost his mind. From mosquito crackers to obese lizard exports... the world is ending. Honestly, I should just work without thinking; otherwise, I'll get stressed out.]
'As if you ever think anyway,' Kara thought. The system glared at him with pure cynicism.
Kara didn't care. He started making up new riddles for the villagers visiting his museum. For some reason, he'd been obsessed with puns lately.
"Ladies, do you know why lizards always fall on people's heads?"
"Why, Ki?" Sarah asked, curious.
"Because if they fell into your heart, that would be falling in love! Just kidding, it's love!"
Nyai Mangkududo, who was still terrified on top of the table, immediately jumped down and ran to hug Kara the moment she heard that. Even though Baskara was just joking.
"Aaaaaa, Mas Kara! You're such a flirt! I don't care if the lizards are gross, I'm ready to fall into your heart!"
Baskara swallowed hard.
'I'm the one who made the joke, but I'm the one getting the creeps.'
That morning, Sukamaju Village hit a massive traffic jam. Not because of a parade, but because a van with a giant antenna labeled "Silet-Silit TV" was parked right in front of Baskara's hut.
A reporter with high-teased hair and a red mic stood in front of the copper mosquito statue.
"Viewers, we're back with 'Kupas Tuntas Kasus Terkupas.' Today we are in Sukamaju, a village that just made history as the world's first mosquito-free village, thanks to the mosquito cracker innovation by a young man known as Ki Kara. You must be curious about him, right? Me too, hehe," the reporter said dramatically. Honestly, she looked more like a pickpocket than a journalist.
"Alright viewers, let's ask Ki Kara directly about his secret."
Baskara, who was busy sunbathing his lizards in the yard, was startled. He rushed inside—not to hide, but to find his sunglasses and borrow Nyai Mangkududo's shiniest robe (she'd left it behind yesterday).
"El! Strike your most handsome pose! Big Bro is going on TV! Finally, my handsomeness is being recognized by satellites!" Kara cheered.
[Notification! Detected an extreme surge in self-confidence (Acute Narcissism Level). Careful, Deadweight. Usually, after the news airs, it's not fans who show up—it's the Health Department or the police.]
The system snarked, though deep down, it probably wanted to be on TV too.
"Shut up, Tem! This is personal branding!" Baskara whispered.
The camera zoomed in on Kara's "mysterious" face.
"So, Ki Kara, what is the secret behind these Mosquito Crackers that everyone says makes them feel so refreshed?" the reporter asked.
Kara cleared his throat, making his voice intentionally deep.
"Actually, it's a heritage recipe from my lazy Khodam. The key is... the mosquito's sincerity while being fried. And don't forget, the requirement to buy is answering a health pun."
"Wow, how unique! Can you give us an example, Ki?"
Kara grinned at the camera. Time to spread the chaos—I mean, the humor.
"Alright, for the folks at home. Do you know why lizards like to drop their tails?"
The reporter thought for a second. "Because they feel threatened?"
"Wrong! It's because they know that finding a new tail is way easier than finding a sincere partner! Hahaha! Just kidding, it's sincerity!"
Baskara laughed alone, while everyone else just stared blankly because his words hit way too close to home for their own love lives.
[Stop it, Deadweight!! Because of that joke, the TV ratings just plummeted. Viewers all over the country are experiencing sudden mental fatigue.]
'Whatever, it's their fault for being heartbroken over the wrong person, hahahaha.'
Man, he's got a savage mouth. The interview didn't stop there; the camera panned to the "Obese Lizard Ranch" destined for export. The reporter gaped at the lizards that looked like snack-sized Komodo dragons.
"And this is our export asset. Lizards raised on peyek flour. I plan to send them to outer space to keep lonely astronauts company," Kara continued, talking total nonsense. Who knows, maybe it'll come true.
After the interview, the crew packed up and left.
The news aired that night with a massive headline: "DIVINE YOUTH OR FRAUD SHAMAN? THE MYSTERY OF MOSQUITO CRACKERS AND OBESE LIZARDS IN SUKAMAJU VILLAGE."
The whole village watched together at the town hall. The Village Head was proud, but Nyai Mangkududo was hysterical.
"Look! My future husband is on TV! He looks so hot talking about lizard tails!" Her excitement earned her some major side-eye from the other moms.
"Relax, sweetie. As long as the wedding bells haven't rung, he's still up for grabs," Sarah whispered to her daughter.
Back at the hut, Kara watched the broadcast through the system's interface. Not bad.
Cruel, watching from the corner, just covered his face with a pillow.
'I want to move to another planet. Having a brother like this is too much... the embarrassment has officially reached the Palapa satellite.'