CRASH!!!!
The bald ghost, who looked like a knock-off cartoon twin, hurled his bolster again at Baskara. Whether it was sheer luck or Cruel's summoning powers at work, Baskara managed to dodge the pillow just in time.
Phew. Talk about a near-death experience. He still had a massive bucket list to finish in this second life; it would be a shame to kick the bucket now.
"About that... uh, Mr. Ghost... regarding the 'Comfy Mattress Valley'..." Kara scratched his head (which wasn't even itchy) as cold sweat beads the size of corn kernels began to roll down his face.
"It's full, man! The hotel is totally fully booked because a bunch of government officials decided to take an early retirement!"
Rebahano, who was just about to 'glow up' with the excitement of eternal laziness, suddenly turned gloomy again. His cheerful face withered into something resembling a haunted doll found under a bridge. The black clouds above him thickened, and tiny sparks of lightning began to crackle around his bald head.
"LIAR!" Rebahano screamed, though his voice still sounded incredibly lazy.
Well, he is a 'Sloth Ghost' after all. If the ghost were hardworking, he'd be the author instead—haha, just kidding.
"I don't care! I want my sleep, or I'll turn this entire village so lazy they'll forget how to chew their own food!"
[Warning! Rebahano has entered 'Berserk Sloth Mode'! Village laziness levels are skyrocketing! The Village Chief has just decided not to bathe for a month because he's too lazy to grab a towel. Act fast, Burden! You don't want to spend your whole life being a couch potato, do you—]
'Actually, I wouldn't mind. Who wouldn't want to just lounge around all day? Sounds like a dream, System,' Baskara interrupted while the System gave him a judging stare.
[Dream on. I'm here to ensure you live a life of diligence and discipline. Do you actually want to end up in Hell?]
'If I go to Hell, I'll get to meet celebrities, right? They must be gorgeous. I mean, so many stars end up there... maybe I should get plastic surgery before I go so I don't embarrass myself.'
[Good grief. How did I end up with such an idiot for a host?]
"You're lying about that hotel, aren't you?!!!!" Rebahano's roar snapped Baskara back to reality.
[Served you right!!!]
"System, help! Give me an idea!" Kara panicked. And why wouldn't he? Rebahano was glaring at him like a teacher catching a student stealing a pen in class.
[Should I help... should I not... hmm...]
'Come on, System! Help me! I'll give you money to buy your boss some new underwear!'
[Fine, deal!!]
Baskara rolled his eyes. Of course, he had a money-grubbing System.
[Step one: Use your assets, Burden. Remember what's piling up in this elementary school warehouse?]
Kara glanced around. In the corner of the warehouse was a pile of giant plastic bags from last year's charity event and... thousands of mosquitoes having a literal party in the stagnant water behind the building.
A genius idea struck him.
"Okay, okay! Mr. Rebahano! I've got an even better solution!" Kara shouted, pointing at the swarm of mosquitoes.
"Do you know why you can't sleep? It's the mosquitoes! They are the ultimate enemies of the Laziness Squad. How about this mission: EXTERMINATE EVERY MOSQUITO IN THE VILLAGE! Once they're gone, you'll have the most peaceful sleep of your life!"
Baskara yelled at the top of his lungs, so loud that Cruel and Nyai Mangkududo had to cover their ears to keep from going deaf. Rebahano paused to think. The shaman has a point, he thought.
"Mosquitoes, huh... True. Yesterday, just as I was entering a beautiful dream, one flew right up my nostril..."
"Exactly! Deal?"
Baskara immediately approached Cruel. "El, help me out here, please," he whispered to Cruel, who still wore a deadpan expression.
Seriously, when will I ever get some alone time with my brother? After a long sigh, Cruel—who was basically bored with the drama—finally moved his hand. Instead of using an electric racket, Cruel used the "Shadow Vacuum" technique. He created a black vortex that sucked every single mosquito in the village into those giant plastic bags.
WUUUUSSSHHH!
In an instant, thousands—maybe millions—of mosquitoes were bagged. The village suddenly went silent, free from that annoying buzzing. Even the larvae seemed to vanish.
"How's that, man? Nice, right? Now you can lounge and relax without anything flying up your nose," Baskara broke the silence.
Rebahano closed his eyes. "True. So peaceful."
"Alright!! We're done here! You can just sleep here now. No more mosquitoes. Heck, I don't think even the wind would dare to disturb you."
Rebahano, already basking in the tranquility, simply nodded and went back to his nap in the warehouse. Baskara breathed a sigh of relief. He was alive. But wait... he felt like he was forgetting something. He glanced at the pile of mosquitoes and remembered his 'Sin Balance.' He needed money and a better reputation.
'Hehehe, I've got a plan, System. This is definitely going to make me rich. Mwahahaha!' Baskara smirked, laughing internally.
[Stop that laughter. It's disturbing the local ecosystem and causing sound pollution. You sound more like a trapped gremlin than a villain. By the way, what are you going to do with those mosquitoes, Burden?]
'I'm starting a business. It's going to be pure profit, baby.'
As Baskara plotted his "unholy" business ideas, he didn't realize that the Village Chief and the locals had gathered around, staring at him in confusion. Did he forget to take his meds?
Realizing he was being watched, Baskara snapped out of it. Embarrassing. Totally not classy.
"Ahem!!! Why are you all staring? Am I that handsome? I know, I have a lot of fans," he said narcissistically.
[Gross. You're delusional.]
'Can you just let me have my moment?! You're just jealous!!'
[Who's jealous? Not me.] The System looked away, clearly annoyed.
"Ki Kara..." the Village Chief called out, breaking Kara's daydream.
"Oh, yes, Chief? What is it?"
"Well... first of all, I want to thank you for chasing those ghosts away. We don't know how to repay your kindness, but here is a little something for your journey." The Chief handed over a brown envelope that made Baskara's eyes sparkle like he'd won the lottery.
'Jackpot!!!' Baskara cheered internally.
"I helped out of the goodness of my heart, Chief. But since I wasn't alone and I nearly died back there, I shall accept this gift for... uh... my 'khodam's' needs," Baskara replied while snatching the envelope.
"Ki Kara is not only talented but truly kind-hearted," one villager smiled.
"Of course! He's my future husband, after all!" Nyai Mangkududo chimed in.
"I want to set him up with my mom!" another added.
"What about your dad?"
"I'll just kick him out of the family tree!"
"What a rebellious kid," the crowd joked.
"But seriously, Ki Kara is amazing. Truly powerful."
Kara's face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and pride. He wasn't used to such praise.
[A guy being a tsundere? Isn't that a bit much?]
'Shut up! Go find another job, like a roast host for celebrities or something. You'd be perfect at that.'
Meanwhile, Cruel, who had been listening silently, clenched his fists in annoyance.
"Oh, Chief, by the way, I'm taking these mosquitoes with me," Baskara pointed to the plastic bags.
"What for, Ki?"
"It's a secret..."
'I'm gonna turn them into crackers (peyek). Why not? Free snacks,' Baskara's thoughts were a complete contrast to his face. The Village Chief nodded, thinking Baskara might be a collector. Little did he know, he was a mosquito-cracker collector. (Oops, spoiler alert).
After grabbing the bags, Baskara looked at Cruel. "El, are you sick?" He pressed his forehead against his younger brother's.
"Nope," Cruel replied, stepping back. But before Kara could move, Cruel grabbed his wrist.
"Let's go home, Brother. I'm tired," Cruel said, dragging Baskara away. What was he planning? Only God and the Author know.
"Ki!! Don't leave me—"
Wushhh!!! THUD!!
Cruel released a puff of black smoke from his hand, instantly putting Nyai Mangkududo and all the villagers to sleep. Nyai Mangkududo slumped over, hugging a nearby banana tree.
"Mas Kara... Mas Kara, don't go~" she mumbled in her sleep.
"El!! What are you—"
"Going home."
Baskara swallowed hard. Cruel's deep voice was a sign that he wasn't taking 'no' for an answer. He felt a bit sorry for them, but what could he do?
"Okay, okay. Let's go home."