The first thing Mineatty noticed when she woke up was the floor.
It was too clean.
Not just clean—suspiciously clean. Like someone had polished it five minutes ago and then told everyone, "No one walk here. Ever."
She blinked at it for a few seconds, then slowly pushed herself up.
"…Okay," she muttered. "Either I died, or someone kidnapped me into a hotel commercial."
"Same."
She turned her head.
Five guys.
Five very confused guys.
All standing—or in one case, lying—on the same shining marble floor as her.
There was a massive hall around them. Tall pillars, golden decorations, dramatic red carpets. The kind of place where important people made speeches about destiny and taxes.
Mineatty stared at them.
They stared at her.
There was a long, awkward silence.
Then—
"Did anyone else just get kidnapped," Meemz said, sitting up and dusting himself off, "or is this like… a group hallucination?"
"I knew it," KosmicPen said immediately, pointing at the ceiling. "Aliens. I've been saying this for years."
"That is not proof," Small Infinity snapped, adjusting his glasses like that would somehow fix reality. "This is clearly a controlled environment. Likely a summoning mechanism. There are too many consistent architectural details for it to be—"
"Bro," Meemz cut in, "we're in a palace."
"I am aware," Small Infinity said, offended.
Mineatty rubbed her face.
"Okay. Everyone stop talking for one second."
They didn't.
"I think we're in a game—"
"—if this is a dream, I refuse to wake up—"
"—statistically speaking—"
"—what if we have powers—"
"—does anyone have food—"
"STOP."
Her voice echoed through the hall.
Silence.
Five heads turned toward her.
She pointed at herself.
"I am already tired," she said. "We've been here for ten seconds."
"…That's fair," Meemz admitted.
"Good," she said. "Now. Roll call. Who's alive?"
"Pretty sure all of us?" KosmicPen said.
"That was not the question."
They went around anyway.
"TheSilentQuill," said one, crossing his arms like he was about to give a speech.
"Hush," said another.
"…Mineatty," she said.
"KosmicPen," said the loud one.
"Meemz," said Meemz, doing a small wave.
"Small Infinity," said the last one, nodding seriously.
Mineatty looked at all of them.
"…Why do your names sound like usernames?"
"Because they are," Meemz said. "You think my mother named me Meemz?"
"That explains nothing."
Before anyone could respond—
A loud trumpet blast echoed through the hall.
Everyone flinched.
"…Okay, that's new," KosmicPen said.
At the far end of the hall, massive doors swung open.
A group of guards marched in, followed by a man in an overly decorated robe who looked like he had personally invented dramatic entrances.
He spread his arms wide.
"Welcome, chosen heroes!"
Mineatty stared at him.
"…Yeah," she muttered. "We got kidnapped."
---
Ten minutes later, they were standing in a neat line like a group of students who had been forced into a school assembly.
The king—because of course he was the king—was still talking.
"…summoned from another world… destined to save our kingdom… defeat the forces of darkness…"
Mineatty zoned out after "destined."
KosmicPen raised his hand.
"Question."
The king paused. "Yes?"
"What if we don't want to?"
The entire hall went silent.
Mineatty slowly turned her head toward him.
"Why," she whispered, "would you say that out loud?"
"I'm just asking."
The king coughed.
"…You have been chosen by fate."
"That sounds like a yes but forced," Meemz said.
Small Infinity stepped forward.
"Your Majesty," he began, sounding way too formal for someone who had been kidnapped ten minutes ago, "could you explain the mechanics of this summoning? Specifically, the power distribution system and—"
"You will each receive divine blessings," the king interrupted quickly.
"Ah," Small Infinity said, satisfied. "That answers nothing, but I accept it."
Mineatty pressed her fingers to her temple.
"This is not happening."
"It is," TheSilentQuill said quietly. "And if it is… we must adapt."
He stepped forward slightly, his expression serious.
"If we truly are heroes, then we must—"
A bright light exploded in the center of the room.
Everyone flinched.
A voice echoed in the air.
> [SYSTEM INITIALIZING…]
Mineatty blinked.
"…Oh no."
> [ERROR DETECTED]
[ROLE MISMATCH]
[CORRECTING…]
"Why does that sound bad?" Meemz asked.
> [ALIGNMENT: VILLAIN]
"…What?" Mineatty said.
> [SYSTEM ACTIVATED: VILLAIN PROGRESSION SYSTEM]
Silence.
Then—
"Wait," KosmicPen said. "Villain?"
> [REWARD: EVIL ACTIONS]
[PENALTY: KINDNESS]
Mineatty stared at the invisible air like it had personally offended her.
"…No."
> [WELCOME, USERS]
"NO."
---
"Your blessings have been granted," the king said, smiling like nothing was wrong.
Mineatty looked at him.
"Sir."
"Yes, hero?"
"…I think ours is broken."
He blinked. "Broken?"
"Yeah," KosmicPen said. "It says we're villains."
The king laughed.
"Oh, you jest."
"We do not," TheSilentQuill said seriously.
"…You jest," the king repeated, but this time it sounded less confident.
Mineatty turned away.
"Okay. Ignore him. Let's just… test this."
She looked around.
There was a guard nearby, holding a spear.
Mineatty walked up to him.
"Hi," she said politely.
The guard blinked. "Uh… hello?"
She smiled.
"Nice armor."
> [PENALTY APPLIED: -10 HP]
Mineatty froze.
"…What."
Her knees almost gave out.
"Why did I just feel like I got hit by a truck—"
"WHAT HAPPENED?" Meemz shouted.
"I COMPLIMENTED HIM!"
KosmicPen burst out laughing.
"No way—"
"TRY IT," she snapped.
He grinned and walked over to another guard.
"Hey," he said.
The guard sighed. "What?"
KosmicPen grabbed his helmet and threw it across the room.
The guard screamed.
> [REWARD: +50 EXP]
Everyone froze.
KosmicPen slowly looked at Mineatty.
"…Oh."
Mineatty stared back.
"…Oh."
Meemz stepped forward.
"No, no, no. Let me try something."
He turned to a random noble and shoved him lightly.
The noble yelped.
> [REWARD: +20 EXP]
Meemz gasped.
"I LOVE THIS SYSTEM."
"NO YOU DON'T," Mineatty yelled.
Small Infinity stepped forward, frowning.
"This is illogical," he said. "A system that encourages negative behavior will inevitably destabilize—"
He turned to a servant.
"…Are you okay?"
> [PENALTY APPLIED: -15 HP]
Small Infinity dropped to one knee.
"…I take it back," he said weakly.
Hush, who had been silent the entire time, walked past them.
He picked up a random expensive-looking vase…
…and dropped it.
It shattered loudly.
Everyone turned.
> [REWARD: +80 EXP]
Hush blinked.
"…Hm."
Mineatty pointed at him.
"DON'T 'HM' THAT."
---
Five minutes later, the royal hall looked like a disaster zone.
Broken objects.
Panicking nobles.
Guards running everywhere.
And six "heroes" standing in the middle of it.
"…We didn't mean to do this," Mineatty said.
"Speak for yourself," KosmicPen said.
"This is bad," TheSilentQuill muttered. "Very bad."
"Actually," Meemz said, "this is kind of amazing."
"WE ARE DESTROYING A PALACE."
"AND GETTING STRONGER."
Mineatty grabbed her head.
"I hate this world."
The king was staring at them in horror.
"…You are not heroes," he whispered.
"No," Mineatty said tiredly. "We figured that out."
Guards rushed forward.
"Seize them!"
KosmicPen grinned.
"Now this looks fun."
"DON'T—"
Too late.
Chaos exploded.
---
They ran.
Through hallways, past screaming guards, knocking over anything that got in their way.
Every crash—
> [+EXP]
Every accident—
> [+EXP]
Every attempt to help—
> [PENALTY]
"STOP BREAKING THINGS!" Mineatty shouted.
"I'M LEVELING UP!" KosmicPen shouted back.
"THIS IS NOT THE TIME!"
Meemz tripped over a carpet and took down three guards with him.
> [+120 EXP]
"I DIDN'T EVEN TRY!" he yelled happily.
"This is a nightmare," Small Infinity said, running beside them.
"This is efficiency," Meemz corrected.
They burst through the palace doors into the open air.
Guards were still chasing them.
Mineatty stopped for a second, breathing hard.
"…Okay. New plan."
"What plan?" KosmicPen asked.
"We survive," she said.
"And?"
"…And we try not to become villains."
Everyone looked at her.
Then—
> [PENALTY WARNING]
She sighed.
"…Or we just don't die."
Hush finally spoke.
"…Food?"
Mineatty stared at him.
"…Yes," she said. "Let's start with that."
Behind them, the palace burned slightly.
In front of them, a kingdom that now saw them as criminals.
And above them—
A system that rewarded the worst in them.
Mineatty closed her eyes briefly.
"…This is going to be a long story."
KosmicPen grinned.
"Yeah," he said. "It's going to be fun."
Mineatty looked at him.
"…I hate all of you."
They ran anyway.