"It's time for everyone to sleep, now that we've cleared up the confusion," said the old witch.
Where am I going to sleep? I want so badly to sleep with the girls.
"Dorian, you're going to sleep with me." Kokoro pulled my right arm.
Ah, how beautiful she is. Kokoro is wearing pink flower pajamas and tied her black hair with a pink ribbon.
"Me sleep with you? I can't. I'm a man of principles."
"No. He's sleeping with me." Yumi pulled my left arm.
Yumi is dazzling in her traditional, light cotton yukata.
Yua and Mio said together, "He's sleeping with me." The two stared at each other and started pulling hair.
How happy I am—four girls fighting over me. I ended up forgetting my problems.
"Since you're insisting so much, how about we all sleep together?" I asked.
Please say yes. Please.
"No."
Ugh. Pleasure ruined.
"So the hunk's name is Dorian," their mother asked.
I forgot to ask her name in the middle of this mess.
"Yes, that's my name. Is yours?" I held out my hand to greet her, but she refused.
"My name is Xi. . ."
"Mom, why can't Dorian sleep with us? He himself said he's a man of principles," Mio asked.
"Oh, I am. I really am." I gave a small smile.
"See, Mom? He said it himself," Yumi also backed her sister.
Xi laughed loudly in the room and said to her daughters, "If he's a man of principles, then I'm a man."
My ears hurt at the word "man," and the urge to run started creeping in.
"Ha ha ha… but you're not a man. Are you?" I asked Xi.
"Find out for yourself," she replied, after adjusting her dress.
"Y-you…" I held myself back.
"She's messing with you," Kokoro said, worried.
It can't get worse than this, I thought.
"Since you said that, then let's sleep—all together."
"No. You'll sleep somewhere more special," Xi commented.
If there's a place more magical than a bed shared by four girls, that place must be paradise.
". . ."
What am I doing here?
Right after the argument, the girls stepped away to rest; however, they told Xi to show me where I'd sleep.
But. . .
"Are you enjoying the comfort?" Xi asked with an ironic look.
All that's missing is a lid to make it perfect.
"You want to close the coffin?"
Damn her—I'll… Where did she go?
This basement is a real witch's basement. Look at these details: the air is thick, heavy with the scent of dried herbs. The walls are taken over by aged wooden shelves, packed with potion bottles, dusty scrolls, and leather-bound grimoires.
On the ceiling hang bundles of plants, plus bones and crystals meant to channel energy. In the center, an altar is arranged with symbolic objects—daggers, cups, and tarot cards.
Xi called me a pervert, but there's a huge portrait on the wall of a skinny man: messy black hair, thin beard, deep eye bags, and a robe—except he's also indecently posed, reading a magazine while sitting on a toilet. . .
No way. That's… obscene.
Even in another world they have this kind of thing. I'm surprised.
What a wonderful day! Dreaming too big wasn't my mistake.
Anyway. . .
With everything calmer now, I finally stopped to think about this world.
That voice that invited me didn't sound like a woman, but I was so euphoric—running from that idiot in the palace—that I accepted the invitation to come here.
From what it seems, this is a forest far from the city Asterium that Yumi explained to me.
That's enough for today. . .
I closed my eyes to sleep. This coffin is pretty comfortable.
AAAAh—what am I doing? I'm not sleeping inside this coffin. How are the girls now? Should I take a peek?
"Hey, Dorian."
I'm even hearing their voices inside my head. Yes, girls—call me.
"Hey, Dorian, can I sleep with you in this coffin?"
You can.
"Hey, Dorian."
I said you can.
I can even feel someone touching my arm. Such a soft hand. . .
A GHOST! I jumped up so fast that dust flew everywhere.
"Ah, it's you, Yumi. I almost had a heart attack."
She's wearing something so provocative I practically started drooling.
"Who did you think it was?" she asked, whispering.
"I thought it was Xi planning something against me."
Why is she here? If Xi finds out, this coffin will definitely become mine.
"What do you want, Yumi?" I tried to make conversation.
The basement echo made her heartbeat audible.
"Did you like the outfit I wore especially for you?"
She sat on the floor and I settled back into the coffin again. An owl's call echoed in the old basement.
"If I say 'liked,' that's not the right word. I loved it."
". . ."
Why is Yumi taking so long to answer?
"Don't keep me in suspense, Yumi." When I stood up, I saw her completely red.
"Dorian, I… want to sleep with you."
Hearing her plea, I lay down again.
Tonight!!!!
When I was about to say yes. . .
"Dorian, are you sleeping?"
"I'm not sleeping, Yumi." I got up angrily, ready to scold her.
That's not Yumi. Where is Yumi?
"I'm not Yumi. I'm Kokoro, Dorian. I want to sleep with you."
Didn't Kokoro see her sister?
"Kokoro, before you came here… didn't you see your sister?" I asked.
She whispered to me, "I saw her. But did you like my outfit?"
"Are you crazy? You're—"
She smiled slightly and answered, "I tricked you to see if you noticed me."
"If I were two hundred meters away, I'd still notice those two huge… things you've got." I replied, then lay back down.
". . ."
Again—these girls go silent in the middle of the night.
I lifted my head and called Kokoro: "Don't leave me here talking to myself."
I think this coffin isn't doing me any good.
"Dorian, Mio and I want. . ."
"I already know you two want to sleep with me," I replied to Mio and Yua.
"How did you know that?" Mio asked.
Don't even ask. . .
"I'm tired of you. Let me sleep. And since you two are here, please close the coffin," I asked them.
But they're slow.
"My beloved toilet—Dad will fix you."
What are those two talking about? Beloved toilet?
"What are you doing here, mortal?"
"I'm delirious. You're not real either," I answered the mirage.
The mirage burst into laughter, put the toilet on top of the table, flexed, and snapped back, "I'm not real, insignificant being? These muscles aren't real to you? Touch them."
And he continued: "I am Altus Pervertus, the greatest bodybuilder of all time. I'm adored by all the twenty-four heavenly kingdoms."
"I thought you were a mirage."
That name made me want to laugh.
"Do you walk around half-dressed because you don't have money for clothes?" I provoked him.
"Ha ha. From men I expect respect, and from women, idolization. I'm not naked—this is my alpha form," he said, striking an indecent, ridiculous pose.
What a character. I got out of the coffin and went to greet him. "My name is Dorian."
"My butt hurts—look if there are any arrow leftovers." He turned to show me something I absolutely did not want to see, so I looked away immediately.
"Not me. Don't get it twisted. I don't look at a man's butt. If it were a woman's, that'd be another story."
"Then you like women?" he asked.
I pulled a little notebook from my pocket and showed it. "Look at how many women contacts I have. Be jealous."
"That's it? I doubt you even have something bold enough for women to admire you. Like mine right here," he said, kissing his own portrait on the wall.
"You don't, do you?"
Damn him… I'll beat him up.
"Altus Pervertus, do you like hentai?" I asked him.
Suddenly, he stopped kissing his image.
". . ."
"That silence is a yes?" I poked again.
But he still wouldn't open his mouth.
"I bet you don't have the complete collection of: Master Piece the Animation, signed by the original authors, Mahaya/Kinniku Rashoumon."
Yeah. He doesn't.
"Looks like you don't… Calm down, don't do that, you lunatic!" I shouted for him to let me go.
"I'll let you go if you make a bet with me. I'll get in your face and—" he started, grinning.
I tried elbowing his stomach repeatedly, but I couldn't. I pulled my arms, but he's strong.
"Fine. Tell me what this bet is," I asked, furious.
"I don't know how you ended up here, but you already know there are five captivating women here with attributes that would make any man beg just to touch them," he told me.
"Don't say things like that. Just imagining it makes my legs shake, but what does that have to do with the bet?" I shot back.
"Huh? Right, I forgot—even I, with an IQ over 250, can have a memory slip."
Sure. . . memory slip.
"Straight to the point: in Xi's room there's a relic. If you take possession of it, all women won't be able to resist you—watch this!" he said, making a crude little gesture.
I dodged instantly. This guy swings to the worst side fast.
"A relic that makes women worship me—interesting. What is this sacred object?"
"Mmmph."
Why is he laughing?
He let me go and started wiping himself down. What prejudice—I'm not dirty.
"It's been over twenty years since I touched a man. When I leave here I'll have to purify myself with some beautiful girl. But what won't a man do for his favorite hentai."
I get it.
"I am Altus Pervertus, worshipper of hentais and girls with gigantic busts. The sacred relic that attracts women is Xi's black panties," he declared theatrically.
But. . . I already know what he wants. Shameless bastard.