Deadpool was sprinting across Route 1, his red-and-black yukata flapping in the wind, holding the Master Ball above his head like it was the Holy Grail.
"GET BACK HERE, YOU HAIR-PIECE WEARING BIH!" Deadpool roared, his lungs burning from the sheer lack of cardio in the Pokémon world. "I've got a 100% catch rate and a very small digital apartment with your name on it! You're going into the PC, Aizen! I'm going to name you 'Sparkles' and trade you for a Level 3 Caterpie!"
Aizen didn't even look back. He was gliding inches above the grass, his spiritual pressure (Reiryoku) causing the nearby Oddish to faint instantly. "Your persistence is as tragic as your facial structure, Wilson. You cannot contain a god in a plastic sphere manufactured by a man who can't tell the difference between a boy and a girl."
The Great Throw
"WATCH ME, tum!" Deadpool screamed. He wound up his arm like a Major League pitcher and launched the Master Ball with every ounce of spite in his body.
The ball streaked through the air, glowing with a purple, legendary light. It was a perfect shot. It was heading straight for the back of Aizen's head.
But then, the bushes exploded.
"PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!" "AND MAKE IT DOUBLE!"
Team Rocket—Jessie, James, and Meowth—jumped out of a hole in the ground, striking their iconic pose right in the flight path of the ball.
CLUNK.
The Master Ball hit James square in the forehead.
Wobble... wobble... wobble... CLICK.
"JAMES!" Jessie screamed, staring at the purple ball on the ground. "He... he's been captured! James is in the ball!"
"Wait, what?!" Deadpool skidded to a halt, panting. "No! No, no, no! That was for the slick-haired Mother Fu*! I caught the sensitive one with the blue hair?! That's a waste of a Master Ball! Give him back, you pixelated Bihes!"
The New Recruit
The Master Ball burst open, and James popped out, looking slightly dazed and wearing a tiny digital collar. "I... I feel a strange urge to obey the man in the red spandex," James muttered, blinking. "Master? Shall we go look for rare roses?"
"Oh, god dammit," Deadpool groaned, slapping his forehead. "Fine. You're my starter Pokémon now. James, use... I don't know, use 'Melancholy'!"
Meowth stepped forward, looking at Deadpool's scarred face. "Whoa, check out the mug on this guy! He looks like a Mewtwo that got ran over by a Rhyhorn!"
"Shut up, you talking fur-coat!" Deadpool snapped. "Where's the nearest town? I need to buy some Revives and maybe a wig for my friend over there before his scalp starts reflecting the sun."
The Serious Presence
Suddenly, the ground shook. A shadow loomed over the entire Route 1.
Saitama walked out of the forest, carrying a giant, defeated Onix over his shoulder like a log. He looked at Professor Oak, then at Deadpool, then at the talking cat.
"Hey," Saitama said, his face as blank as a fresh sheet of paper. "I found a giant rock snake. Does this count as 'discount protein' in this world? Also, I think I broke a 'Gym.' A guy named Brock is crying in the dirt because I punched his favorite rock."
"Saitama!" Deadpool cheered. "You're just in time! We're joining Team Rocket! They've got a balloon, uniforms, and zero health insurance! It's perfect for us, Tum!"