"Wakey-wakey, you blocky Motherfuckers!" I yelled, kicking Aizen out of the 1x2 crawlspace. "The sun is up, the Creepers are mostly sizzled, and I've got a hunger bar that's flashing like a neon sign in a dive bar! tum, look at this place! It's beautiful, it's low-res, and I'm pretty sure I can see the edge of the world if I turn my 'Render Distance' up!"
Aizen stood up, dusting off his pixelated robes. He was staring at a Villager that had wandered near our shack. The Villager just stared back with a giant nose and a vacant expression.
"Hrmmm," the Villager said.
"What did you say to me, you long-nosed Bitch?" Aizen hissed, reaching for a sword he didn't have. "Do you have any idea who I am? I am the architect of the Arrancar! I am the—"
"Hrmmm," the Villager repeated, offering him a single Emerald for five stacks of String.
"He's low-balling you, Sparkles!" I laughed, punching a nearby pig into a cloud of smoke and a floating porkchop. "In this world, the economy is more broken than the DC Extended Universe! tum, watch this. I'm gonna go find their 'Blacksmith' and rob him blind before Goku eats the entire population."
The Village Raid (By Accident)
We followed the gravel path to a nearby Village. Goku was already there, trying to "spar" with a Iron Golem.
"Wow! You're made of metal and you have a flower!" Goku shouted, dodging a massive swing from the Golem's arms. "You must be a 'Steel-Type'! Let's see how you handle a Kamehame-Block!"
"Goku, stop! That's the only thing keeping the Zombies away!" I yelled.
But it was too late. Muzan had found the Village Bell. He started ringing it like a maniac, thinking it was a Blood Demon ritual. Instead, a giant red bar appeared at the top of the sky: RAID.
"Oh, great job, Michael Jackson!" I screamed. "You just triggered a Raid! Here come the Illagers on their big-ass pixelated rhinos! tum, grab a bucket of milk! Things are about to get chunky!"
The Redstone "Solution"
While the Villagers were screaming and running into their tiny houses, I decided to show off my "Engineering Skills."
"Don't worry, everyone! I've been watching YouTube tutorials!" I pulled out a stack of TNT, some Redstone Dust, and a Pressure Plate. "I'm gonna build a 'Landmine' to stop the invaders! It's foolproof! It's elegant! It's—"
CLICK.
I accidentally stepped on the plate before I finished the wiring.
"Wade..." Saitama said, standing three inches behind me, holding a loaf of bread he'd stolen from a chest. "Is that supposed to be flashing red?"
"No... no it is not, tum."
K-BOOOOOOOM.
The explosion didn't kill us (thanks to 'Creative Mode' logic), but it did launch the Village's Library, Aizen's dignity, and a very confused Chicken into the upper atmosphere.
When the smoke cleared, the Villagers were all staring at me.
"Hrmmm," they said in unison. It sounded like a judgment.
"Oh, shut up, you blocky Bitches!" I yelled. "At least the Raid is over! Also... does anyone know why the sky is turning purple and full of 'Endermen' eyes?"