Inside the Mecha-Pool-Vindicator 3000, the air was vibrating. It wasn't the engine—it was Goku. He was doing one-handed finger-pushups on the ceiling, glowing like a 1000-watt lightbulb and sweating pure martial arts intensity.
"Man, this place is great!" Goku chirped, his voice echoing off the metallic walls. "The gravity is low, but the vibes are high! Hey, Red-Suit-Man! Do you have any senzu beans? Or maybe a bucket of fried Combusken? I'm so hungry I could eat a Snorlax!"
"First of all, don't call me Red-Suit-Man, you golden-haired Mother Fu*!" Deadpool screamed, frantically trying to keep the robot from tilting as Goku shifted his weight. "Second, we don't have 'Senzu Beans'! We have stale Cheetos and a half-eaten Protein Bar that James found in a dumpster! tum, look at this guy! He's a biological weapon fueled by carbs!"
The God of Manipulation (Fails)
Aizen stepped forward, his eyes narrowing. He adjusted his "Kyoka Suigetsu" (which was currently being used to stir a cup of lukewarm tea).
"Goku," Aizen said, his voice dropping into that 'I'm-a-villain-listen-to-my-monologue' tone. "You possess a power that transcends this childish world of pocket monsters. Join me. With your strength and my hair-care routine... I mean, my intellect... we could rule the Paldea region. I shall be your Master, and you shall be my... well, my 'Mega-Evolution'."
Goku dropped from the ceiling, landing with a heavy THUD that cracked the floorboards. He looked at Aizen, then at Aizen's slightly lopsided wig.
"Are you a Gym Leader?" Goku asked, tilting his head. "Because you talk a lot like the guys who lose in the first round. Also, your hair looks like it's trying to escape your head. Is that a Pokémon too? Is it a Tangela?"
"IT IS NOT A TANGELA, YOU INSOLENT BIH!" Aizen roared, his spiritual pressure flaring so hard the Mecha's "Check Engine" light turned on.
The Roof-Top Encounter
Up on the roof, Saitama knocked on the hatch. Clink. Clink.
"Hey," the bald hero said, his voice muffled. "The gold guy is shaking the house. Also, I can see a Miltank farm about three miles East. If we don't get there in ten minutes, I'm going to start eating the metal plating on this robot. It smells like copper and desperation."
"Saitama! My bald-headed savior!" Deadpool yelled, sticking his head out the window. "Stay calm! We're heading for the steak! Just don't punch the Mecha! This thing is held together by duct tape and Jessie's broken dreams!"
The Spar that Broke the World
Goku's eyes locked onto Saitama through the hatch. A grin spread across his face—the kind of grin that usually precedes a planet being destroyed.
"Whoa... your power level... I can't even sense it!" Goku shouted, his aura exploding into a violent blue. "Are you a Legendary?! Are you a Mew-Three?! FIGHT ME!"
"I'm just a guy who's a hero for fun," Saitama sighed, stepping down into the cockpit. "And I'm hungry. Let's just go to the farm."
Goku didn't listen. He threw a punch. Not a full-power punch, just a 'hello' punch.
Saitama caught it with his palm.
The shockwave didn't just rattle the Mecha. It ripped the arms off the robot, shattered every window in a five-mile radius, and sent Meowth flying into the next zip code.
"MY ROBOT!" Deadpool wailed, clinging to a stray wire. "You Mother Fu*ers! This is why we can't have nice things! tum, we're going down! We're crashing into the Miltank farm at Mach 2! BRACE FOR IMPACT!"
What happens in Chapter 38?
We are falling out of the sky and straight into a herd of very angry, very heavy cows.
The Miltank Massacre: The Mecha crashes into the farm. Goku and Saitama start "sparring" over the last steak, while Deadpool has to fight off a stampede of Miltanks using only a spatula.
The Demon King of Paldea: The crash-site happens to be the secret hideout of Muzan Kibutsuji (Demon Slayer). He's annoyed that a giant metal Deadpool head just crushed his gazebo.
Team Rocket's Revenge: Jessie and James decide they've had enough of "Gods" and "Super Saiyans." They steal the only remaining escape pod, leaving Deadpool, Aizen, and the two heavy-hitters stranded in the middle of nowhere.
How are we handling the landing, guys?