The Nexus Mall had become a swirling vortex of ingredients, debris, and screaming protagonists. Goku was still acting as a human jet engine, propelling the "Katamari" of junk around the food court at Mach 2.
"STOP SPINNING, YOU OVERGROWN CARROT!" Sanji (One Piece) roared, his leg igniting with flames. He wasn't affected by the zero gravity; he was a master of Sky Walk. He kicked off the air, dodging a flying Pikachu.
"You are wasting food!" Sanji screamed, watching a crate of eggs float by. "In this kitchen—I mean, mall—we do not waste a single grain of rice!"
The Diable Jambe Buffet
Sanji spun like a fiery top. "Diable Jambe: Air Fryer Shot!"
He kicked a floating chicken. He kicked a floating bag of flour. He kicked a floating bottle of soy sauce. With surgical precision, he was cooking a meal mid-air using the friction of his kicks and the ambient heat of Bakugo's rage (who was currently exploding in the corner because he couldn't find the floor).
"Dinner is served!" Sanji announced, kicking a perfectly plated (and somehow non-floating) roast chicken directly toward Nami.
"Sanji-kun!" Nami cheered, catching the plate. "I'll charge you 5,000 berries for the delivery fee!"
"Anything for you, Nami-swan!" Sanji swooned, immediately crashing into a pillar.
The Moss-Head Incident
"Hey, stupid cook," a muffled voice came from inside the ceiling tiles.
Zoro's head poked out from the drywall. He was upside down. "Which way is down? I tried to go to the basement, but I ended up in the skylight."
"WE ARE IN ZERO GRAVITY, YOU MARIMO!" Sanji yelled back. "THERE IS NO DOWN! HOW DID YOU GET LOST IN A ROOM WITH NO DIRECTIONS?!"
"I followed my instinct," Zoro grunted. He pulled out Wado Ichimonji. "I'll just cut the gravity."
"DO NOT CUT THE PHYSICS ENGINE!" Deadpool screamed, paddling through the air using Happy (Fairy Tail) as a flotation device. "We barely have a budget left for background art! Look at that background character! He doesn't even have eyes!"
The Zing Heard 'Round the World
Meanwhile, Rentarou Aijo was floating peacefully, holding hands with Karane, Hakari, Shizuka, Nano, Kusuri, and the rest of the 100-girlfriend chain. They formed a human safety net.
"Rentarou-kun," Hakari cooed, floating upside down in front of him. "This zero-gravity is dangerous. My skirt might... fluctuate. You should hold it down."
"I will protect your modesty with my life!" Rentarou declared, his eyes burning with sincerity.
Suddenly, a crate of nails and a hammer floated past them. Following the hammer was a girl with short orange hair and a school uniform that looked suspiciously like it belonged to a sorcerer.
It was Nobara Kugisaki (Jujutsu Kaisen). She was trying to nail a straw doll to a floating piece of drywall to exorcise a "Cursed Mannequin."
Rentarou looked at Nobara. Nobara looked at Rentarou.
ZING.
The sound was louder than Goku's screaming. A pink shockwave rippled through the zero-G environment, knocking Deadpool into a floating slushie machine.
The Negotiation
"Huh?" Nobara blinked, lowering her hammer. She looked at the boy with the intense eyebrows. "What was that? Why did my heart just go doki-doki? Are you a Curse? Because you're radiating some serious 'Simp Energy'."
"I am not a Curse!" Rentarou shouted, swimming through the air to bow in front of her (which looked ridiculous in zero-G). "I am Rentarou! And seeing you wield that hammer with such violence... it moved my soul! Please, become my girlfriend!"
"Hah?" Nobara scoffed, hands on her hips. "You got money? I like shopping. And if you're gonna date me, you gotta handle my baggage. And by baggage, I mean the fact that I hammer nails into people for a living."
"I will buy you every nail in Home Depot!" Rentarou promised.
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Karane propelled herself forward using the sheer force of her tsundere rage. "Who is this hammer-girl?! You can't just pick up a sorcerer in the middle of a gravity crisis! It's not like I'm jealous or anything, but she has a WEAPON!"
"I like her vibe," Maki Zen'in (Jujutsu Kaisen, and ironically Rentarou's cousin in this fanfic purely for chaos) said, floating by. "She hits hard."
The Cabbage Conclusion
While the romantic drama unfolded, Saitama finally saw his opening. Sanji's cooking kick had sent the Legendary Golden Cabbage flying toward the ground (which was now the ceiling).
"Serious Series: Serious Hop."
Saitama pushed off a floating Snorlax. He grabbed the cabbage. He grabbed a bottle of Sanji's "All-Blue Dressing."
He took a bite.
CRUNCH.
"Mmm," Saitama chewed. "It's... average. Needs more salt."
The moment he said "salt," the Plot Hole Remote in his pocket short-circuited.
BOOM.
Gravity returned instantly.
Everyone fell. Goku crashed into the buffet. Zoro fell out of the floor (don't ask how). Deadpool landed softly on top of Totoro, who had just appeared to take a nap.
"Oof," Deadpool groaned. "My spleen. Soum, remind me to add 'Health Insurance' to the next chapter."