The Nexus Mall suddenly felt a lot more... aesthetic. The harsh lighting of the Marvel Universe was replaced by a soft, cinematic glow. The floor was covered in cherry blossom petals for no reason, and every time someone walked, it sounded like a high-quality Foley effect.
"Finally!" Deadpool shouted, standing in the middle of the food court wearing a 'Team Sub over Dub' headband. "The lawyers are gone! I can feel my animation budget increasing as we speak! Look at my skin, Soum! It's cel-shaded! I'm beautiful!"
He looked over at Saitama, who was still sitting at a table, poking a piece of fried tofu.
"Hey, Cueball! The Mouse is gone! We're back to our roots! It's just us and about ten thousand Japanese teenagers with daddy issues!"
The Scouter Incident
Suddenly, a loud BEEP-BEEP-BEEP echoed through the hall.
Vegeta stepped out from behind a vending machine, tapping a green scouter on his eye. "Impossible... his power level... it's fluctuating between 'Depressed Grocery Shopper' and 'Absolute God'!"
"Vegeta, buddy, give it a rest," Deadpool chirped. "The scouter is so 1990s. We're in the era of 'Cursed Energy' and 'Quirks' now. Get with the program, Short-King!"
"Silence, jester!" Vegeta snapped. "I was told there was a legendary warrior here who could survive a planet-bursting attack. Is it the boy with the orange jumpsuit? Or the one with the green hair who keeps breaking his own arms?"
"Actually," Deadpool pointed at Denji (Chainsaw Man), who was currently trying to eat a piece of toast he found on the floor. "That's our guy. He's got the heart of a dog and the brain of... well, a different dog."
The Power-Scaling Debate
"Wait a minute!"
Luffy swung down from the second floor, his arm stretched out like a rubber band. He landed on the table, accidentally knocking over Saitama's tea.
"If we're going to stay in this mall for 188 more chapters," Luffy declared, his hat shadowing his eyes, "we need to decide who the real King is! And the King gets all the meat!"
"I don't care about being King," Saitama muttered, "I just want my tea replaced. It was 50% off."
"A challenge!" Tanjiro Kamado (Demon Slayer) appeared, smelling the air with his super-powered nose. "I can smell the competitive spirit! And also the scent of... chainsaws and wet dog? That's very specific."
Denji looked up, toast hanging from his mouth. "Did someone say meat? If I win, do I get to go on a date with a girl who doesn't try to kill me?"
"Statistically," Nano Eiai (100 Girlfriends) interjected, appearing with her tablet, "the probability of a girl not trying to kill you in this fanfic is approximately 0.003%. However, the probability of Rentarou-kun loving you is 100%."
"Wait, I don't want to be in the harem!" Denji screamed.
The Domain of Confusion
"Now, now, kids, let's not get ahead of ourselves."
Satoru Gojo leaned against a pillar, his blindfold pulled down. "If we're going to settle this, we need a fair fight. No planet-blowing, no infinite loops, and definitely no 'Talk-no-Jutsu' for at least five minutes. Deadpool, you're the ref."
"Me? Ref?" Deadpool pulled out a striped shirt and a whistle. "I'm biased! I'm incredibly biased toward whoever pays me in chimichangas! But okay! Soum! Give us the signal!"
Deadpool blew the whistle.
Immediately, the mall transformed. Goku and Vegeta started charging up, their auras turning the food court into a disco. Zoro got lost and ended up inside a 'Claires' accessories store. Power (Chainsaw Man) started throwing blood-hammers at Aqua (Konosuba), who was crying because her "Nature's Beauty" trick wasn't impressing anyone.
"BORING!" Deadpool screamed. "We need more stakes! Saitama, do something cool! Punch the genre or something!"
Saitama stood up. He looked at the chaos—the ninjas, the pirates, the sorcerers, and the girls who really, really loved their boyfriend.
"Fine," Saitama said. He reached into his bag and pulled out... The Remote Control for the Mall's Gravity.
"Wait, where did you get that?" Deadpool asked.
"I found it next to a 'Lost and Found' box. The box was labeled 'Plot Holes'."
Saitama pressed a button.