Ficool

The Narrativemancer

Slopwriter
14
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 14 chs / week.
--
NOT RATINGS
272
Views
Synopsis
The Narrativemancer  The Hero is here to save the world. Someone needs to stop him. Elian is an NPC. His job is simple: stand behind the counter of the Rusty Tankard, wipe a clean glass, and say, "The rats in my cellar are huge this year!" He has done this every day for ten years. He is bored. He is tired. And, unlike everyone else in the starter village of Oakhaven, he is awake. When Prince Valerius—a Level 1 Paladin with a jawline sharp enough to cut glass and an ego big enough to crush a kingdom—kicks down the door, Elian knows his quiet hell is over. Valerius isn't just a Hero; he is a walking catastrophe of main-character syndrome. He burns taverns for dramatic lighting. He murders quest givers to skip dialogue. He treats the laws of physics like mere suggestions. Destined to be "collateral damage" in the Hero’s tragic backstory, Elian snaps. He breaks his script. He evolves. Now, armed with the class [Continuity Editor] and the ability to see the "Plot Armor" protecting the Chosen One, Elian has a new quest: escort the Hero to the final boss without letting him destroy the world first. He can't fight Valerius directly—the System won't allow it. But he can edit. He can nudge a candle to burn a shoelace. He can sabotage a romantic subplot with a well-placed bucket of water. He can weaponize irony. The world runs on stories. Elian is about to rewrite this one, even if he has to kill the Author to do it. A Meta-LitRPG about survival, satire, and the horror of being a background character in someone else's epic.
VIEW MORE

Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: The Glitch in the Script

The universe smelled of burnt toast.

Elian knew the smell before he opened his eyes. It was a specific, artificial scorching—not the scent of bread left too long on a hearth, but the olfactory code for [Burnt_Crust_01]. He knew that in exactly three seconds, a rooster would crow. It wasn't a real rooster. It was a sound file, compressed slightly too much, looping on a four-second interval from the thatch roof of the barn next door.

Three.

Elian's mind woke up. His body remained paralyzed, locked in the [Sleeping_Villager_Pose_A].

Two.

He tried to wiggle a toe. Just one. A small act of rebellion. The System clamped down on his nerve endings like a vice. Not yet, designated entity. Wait for the cue.

One.

SCREE-AWK.

Elian's eyes snapped open. He didn't choose to open them; the script pulled his eyelids up like blinds. An invisible force, stronger than gravity and crueler than iron, seized his spine. It yanked him upright. It forced his legs to swing over the edge of the cot. It pasted a pleasant, vacuous smile onto his face—a smile that felt like it was cracking his dry lips.

This was the Loop.

Elian was an NPC—a Non-Player Character—in the starter village of Oakhaven. His official designation, buried deep in the metadata of his soul, was [Villager_Male_04]. His purpose was to stand behind the counter of The Rusty Tankard, wipe a glass with a rag that never got dirty, and wait for a Hero to walk through the door.

He had been waiting for ten years.

Step. Step. Stretch. Yawn.

His body moved on autopilot, a marionette dancing to strings made of code. He walked to the washbasin. The water in the ceramic bowl was perfectly still, reflecting a face that hadn't aged a day in a decade. Brown hair ("NPC Brown," the default shade), average chin, average nose. A face designed to be forgotten the moment you looked away.

He splashed the water on his cheeks. It was cold, but it didn't feel wet. It felt like a cold texture map applied to his skin. It didn't drip; it simply vanished after the [Wash_Face] animation completed.

"Another beautiful day in Oakhaven!" he said to the empty room.

He didn't want to say it. He wanted to scream. He wanted to say, "God, please let me die. Please let the server crash. Please let a dragon burn this inn to ash so I can feel heat instead of this lukewarm purgatory."

But his vocal cords were not his own. They were instruments of the System, tuned to a major key.

Elian dressed in his tunic—a beige, rough-spun garment that itched in places he couldn't scratch. The itch was part of the "immersive realism" update three years ago. It was the only thing that felt real.

He walked down the stairs of the inn. The wood didn't creak. It never creaked. Creaking implied wear, and Oakhaven did not wear. It was frozen in a perpetual, idyllic spring. The dust motes dancing in the shafts of light were the same dust motes from yesterday, following the same looped trajectory.

He reached the main floor of the tavern. It was empty. The tables were set with plastic-looking apples and mugs of ale that never went flat. He took his position behind the bar. He picked up The Rag. He picked up The Glass.

Wipe. Wipe. Pause. Wipe. Wipe. Pause.

Elian screamed internally. He screamed a long, jagged litany of curses that would have made a sailor blush. But on the outside, he hummed a folk tune about a maiden and a berry bush.

The door swung open.

Elian's heart hammered against his ribs. Is it him? Is it finally a Player?

It was the Baker.

The Baker was a large man with flour permanently dusted onto his apron and a smile that looked like it had been painted on by a committee. He carried a basket of rolls. His eyes were dead. There was no light behind them, no consciousness. Just a script running on a loop.

"Fresh rolls, Elian!" the Baker boomed. "Hot from the oven!"

Elian knew what he had to say. He fought it. He focused all his will, every ounce of his consciousness, on his tongue. He tried to say: "Thomas, your oven is cold. You haven't lit a fire in a decade. We are in Hell, Thomas. We are in Hell."

He strained. Sweat beaded on his forehead—not a scripted sweat, but a real, physiological reaction to the strain. The System pressed down on him, a heavy, suffocating blanket of code.

"They smell delicious, Thomas!" Elian chirped brightly. His voice was sickeningly cheerful.

The Baker beamed. "Best in the valley! See you at the festival tonight!"

There was no festival. There was never a festival. It was just flavor text to make the world seem alive. A "Festival Coming Soon!" banner had hung over the town square for ten years.

The Baker turned and left, walking with the heavy, rhythmic gait of a low-level mob. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Elian stood alone in the silence.

This was the horror of Oakhaven. It wasn't the monsters; the monsters were kept behind the invisible walls of the "Zone." It was the safety. It was the crushing, absolute safety of a world where nothing ever changed, nothing ever rotted, and nothing ever mattered.

And then, the pattern broke.

It started with a scratching sound at the door. Not the rhythmic thump of the Baker, nor the heavy clank of the guard patrol. It was erratic. Scrabbling.

Elian froze. The animation loop for [Clean_Glass] paused halfway through a wipe.

The door pushed open a few inches. A dog squeezed through.

It wasn't one of the village dogs. The village dogs were Golden Retrievers with glossy coats and looped barking animations. This thing was a mess of mange and ribs, missing one ear, with mud caked on its flank. It looked... real.

It limped into the center of the tavern and collapsed, whining softly.

Warning, Elian's internal interface flashed. [Unidentified Asset Detected. Sector 4.]

The System didn't know what to do. There was no script for "Mangy Dog in Tavern." The Baker continued to walk his route outside, oblivious. The birds continued to sing.

Elian stared at the creature. It was suffering. He could see the rise and fall of its ribs.

Help it, his mind screamed.

He tried to step out from behind the bar.

His legs didn't move. The invisible barrier of his designated zone held him fast. He was a Bartender. Bartenders stay behind the bar.

"Come here, boy," Elian tried to say.

"Another beautiful day!" his mouth said instead.

The dog whined, frightened by the loud voice. It tried to stand but slipped on the polished floor.

Elian felt a crack in his chest. Rage. Pure, molten rage. He had spent ten years as a prop, watching the world spin in its perfect, shallow orbit. But this dog was real. It was hurting, and the System was ignoring it because it wasn't part of the "Aesthetic."

Move, Elian commanded his legs.

The System pushed back. It felt like walking through solid concrete. Error. Animation locked. Return to idle state.

Elian gripped the edge of the bar. His knuckles turned white. He wasn't fighting a physical force; he was fighting the laws of physics of his universe.

Move, damn you.

He threw his weight forward. A warning flashed in his vision: [Deviation Detected. Compliance Required.]

He didn't care. He leaned over the bar, reaching for a piece of beef jerky on the counter. His hand shook. The System tried to pull his arm back to the rag. It was a war of inches.

He grabbed the jerky.

He couldn't throw it. The [Throw] action was reserved for combat classes. He was a civilian.

Elian did the only thing he could. He bit down. Hard.

He didn't bite the jerky. He bit his tongue.

He clamped his teeth down on the soft muscle of his own tongue until he tasted copper.

[System Alert: Damage Taken. 1 HP.]

Pain. Sharp, blinding, electric pain.

For a split second, the System faltered. The logic of the world paused. NPCs don't hurt themselves. This is not in the script.

In that micro-second of confusion, the invisible strings went slack.

Elian stumbled forward. He fell out from behind the bar, crashing onto his knees. It wasn't graceful. It was the first unscripted movement he had made in a decade.

He crawled to the dog. The creature looked up, eyes wide with fear.

"Eat," Elian wheezed. His mouth was full of blood. He dropped the jerky.

The dog sniffed it, then snapped it up. It looked at Elian, tail giving a single, tentative thump.

Elian laughed. It sounded wet and choked, but it was his laugh. Not a sound file.

"Run," he whispered. The word didn't come from the dialogue tree. It came from his throat. "Run away. Before they delete you."

The dog seemed to understand. It scrambled to its feet and bolted out the back door, vanishing into the alleyway.

Elian sat on the floor, panting. The metallic taste of blood was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. He had done it. He had broken the loop.

Then, the music started.

It wasn't the folk tune. It was an orchestral swell, rising from the sky itself. Strings, brass, a choir of angels humming in perfect harmony. The light in the room shifted. The dust motes stopped dancing randomly and aligned themselves into golden shafts of "God Rays."

The air pressure dropped. The smell of burnt toast vanished, replaced by the scent of ozone and expensive cologne.

Elian looked at the front door.

A text box appeared over the frame, vibrating with importance.

[Event: The Hero's Arrival]

Elian scrambled backward, trying to get behind the bar, trying to hide. He knew what this was. He had read the lore books during the long nights of insomnia.

The door didn't open. It exploded inward.

Splinters of wood—which usually never broke—showered the room. Standing in the doorway, backlit by a sun that had suddenly moved positions in the sky to frame him perfectly, was a man.

He was tall. Impossibly tall. His armor was made of gold and white enamel, glowing with a soft, pulsing light. His hair was blond, blowing in a wind that didn't exist indoors. His jawline was sharp enough to cut glass.

He stepped into the tavern. His boots clanked with a sound that echoed like a war drum.

He looked around the empty room with eyes the color of a stormy sea. He didn't see a tavern. He saw a stage. He didn't see Elian. He saw a vending machine for experience points.

Elian pressed his back against the wine rack. A new UI window popped up in his vision, red and jagged.

[Target Identified: Prince Valerius]

[Class: Solar Paladin]

[Level: 1 (Scaled)]

[Plot Armor: 100%]

And then, a second text box, smaller, flickering near the bottom of Elian's vision.

[Threat Assessment: Existential.]

Valerius smiled. It was a perfect, white smile.

"Greetings, citizen!" he bellowed. His voice had a reverb effect. "I have arrived to save you! Now, direct me to the nearest thing that bleeds. I require loot."