The first thing I realized was that I wasn't dead. The second was that I was lying on sheets made of silk so smooth it felt like I was sleeping on a cloud of liquid money.
"If this is the afterlife," I muttered, my voice raspy but surprisingly melodic, "I hope the Wi-Fi is decent."
I peeled my eyes open. A headache bloomed behind my temples, a rhythmic thumping like a dubstep bass drop gone wrong. Above me, a fresco on the ceiling depicted naked cherubs fighting hydras.
Tacky, I critiqued instantly. Structurally sound archways, but the color palette is criminal. Who puts neon gold next to pastel pink?
I tried to sit up. My body felt strange—lighter, taller, and brimming with a weird, buzzing energy I couldn't place.
[Synchronization Complete.]
A mechanical chime rang inside my skull, crisp as a notification bell.
[DING!]
[Welcome to Aethelgard, Host.] [System initializing... Soul Frequency match found: 'Architect/Engineer'.]
Memories that weren't mine crashed into my brain. Not a stream, but a violent download.
I was Caelus von Drakenhof. Third son of the Grand Duke of the North.
And I was... absolute trash.
I saw the highlight reel of my new life: Me, drunk at a debutante ball, insulting the Crown Prince. Me, spending the annual defense budget of a border town on a single pet tiger that ran away the next day. Me, trying to confess to the Saintess of the Holy Church while holding a bottle of cheap wine.
Oh god, I groaned, covering my face. I'm not the protagonist. I'm the tutorial villain. I'm the guy who gets face-slapped in Chapter 1 to show how cool the hero is.
"Young Master?"
A timid voice squeaked from the doorway.
I lowered my hands and looked. A maid stood there, clutching a basin of water like it was a holy relic protecting her from a demon. She was trembling.
"Put it down," I said. My voice came out different than I expected—smooth, deep, and unnecessarily attractive. "Before you vibrate that water onto the floor, Marie."
The name slipped out automatically. Marie froze, her eyes widening. The old Caelus never remembered servants' names. He usually just called them "Peasant" or "You there."
She scrambled to the table, set the basin down with a clatter, and fled the room as if I were radioactive.
I sighed and swung my legs out of bed. I walked to the full-length mirror standing in the corner.
I braced myself to see a pale, sickly, dissolute face.
Instead, I gasped.
The reflection staring back at me was... unfair. It was illegal.
Standing there was a tall, lean figure with snow-white hair that defied gravity, falling in messy, stylish bangs over his forehead. But it was the eyes that stopped me. They weren't just blue; they were a vibrant, crystalline azure—glowing slightly, like two dying stars trapped in ice.
I look like an anime protagonist who's about to drop a domain expansion, I thought, touching my cheek. This is the Gojo Satoru starter pack. How was the previous owner this unpopular looking like this?
"System," I whispered, testing the waters. "Status."
A holographic blue screen flickered into existence.
[STATUS WINDOW]
Name: Caelus von Drakenhof
Class: None (Civilian)
Level: 3 (EXP: 0/300) HP: 100/100 MP: 500/500 (Sealed)
Attributes:
Strength: 6 (You struggle with pickle jars.)
Agility: 8 (You run with grace, but not speed.)
Intelligence: 18 (Genius-level potential.)
Charisma: 25 (Natural Charm) [-20 Debuff Applied]
Traits:
[Mana Cripple]: Your mana veins are knotted. You cannot cast spells naturally.
[The Pariah]: Everyone knows you are trash. Your high Charisma only makes them hate you more because "It's a waste of a good face." (-20 to Reputation rolls).
[Celestial Gaze (Visual Only)]: Your eyes are unnerving. People find it hard to maintain eye contact.
Unique Skill:
[The Omniscient Builder (Grade: EX)] - Loading...
"Charisma 25, but a -20 debuff," I chuckled darkly. "So I'm basically a Ferrari with a 'Kick Me' sign taped to the bumper."
Suddenly, the text on the screen glitched gold.
[Unique Soul Signature Detected.] [Skill 'The Omniscient Builder' Activated.]
I looked at the mirror again. The world shifted. It was no longer just an object; it was data.
[Ornate Mirror (Grade C)]
[Durability: 92%]
[Material:] Silver-backed glass, Mahogany frame.
[Flaw:] The tilt mechanism is rusted. 3 drops of oil required.
A slow grin spread across my face. It wasn't the sneer of the old Caelus. It was the smile of an engineer who just realized he had admin privileges in a simulation.
Knock. Knock.
"Lord Caelus," a gravelly voice barked. "The Grand Duke wants you gone before the noon bells. Move it."
Ah. The Exile.
I remembered. My father, tired of my antics, was shipping me off to the Hollowlands—a cursed territory bordering the Wilderness of Beasts. It was a death sentence disguised as a promotion.
I threw on the travel clothes laid out for me. A black high-collared coat that matched my eyes perfectly. I looked like I was going to a fashion week, not a monster-infested wasteland.
I opened the door.
Sir Gerrick, the Captain of the Guard, stood there. He was a mountain of muscle in silver armor. He looked at me, ready to scowl, but paused when he saw my eyes. He blinked, unsettled, before recovering his glare.
I just looked at Gerrick. Or rather, I looked at Gerrick.
[Silver Plate Armor (Grade B)] [Durability: 65/100]
[Flaw Detected:] Micro-fracture in the left pauldron strap. Three more days of friction will snap it.
[Sir Gerrick (Level 45 Knight)]
[Condition:] Chronic back pain (L4-L5 vertebrae compressed).
"Don't look at me like that," Gerrick grunted. "Your pretty face won't stop a goblin from eating it."
"Good morning to you too, Sir Gerrick," I said breezily, walking past him. "I see your left knee is bothering you again. You're leaning heavily on your right side. Bad for your combat stance."
Gerrick froze. "How... how did you know about my knee?"
I didn't answer. I just tapped my temple and kept walking. I can see the micro-fractures in your greaves, Gerrick. You need to fire your blacksmith.
I stepped out into the courtyard. The morning sun hit my silver hair, making it shine like a beacon. Servants stopped their work to stare. Some whispered.
"Is that really him?" "He looks... different." "Still trash, though."
A black carriage waited in the center of the yard. It looked gloomy.
I approached it, intending to just get in and sleep, but my [Omniscient Builder] passive pinged loudly.
[ALERT] [Object: Drakenhof Carriage] [Status: Compromised] [Critical Flaw Detected:] Rear axle bolts have been acid-etched. Structural failure imminent after 5 miles.
I stopped dead.
"Get in," Gerrick urged, coming up behind me. "We're burning daylight."
I activated [The Omniscient Builder].
The carriage lit up with red warning boxes.
[Drakenhof Transport Carriage (Grade D)]
[Status: Sabotaged]
[Critical Flaw:] Rear axle has been partially sawed through. Will snap after approximately 50km of travel.
I turned to him, my blue eyes narrowing. "Gerrick, do you value your job?"
"What?"
"I asked if you value your job as Captain of the Guard. Because if I die five miles down the road due to a 'mechanical failure,' my father might just hang you for incompetence. He wants me exiled, not martyred."
Gerrick frowned, his hand resting on his sword pommel. "What are you babbling about?"
I walked to the rear wheel. I didn't have super strength, but I had physics. I saw the stress point.
I lifted my boot—expensive dragon-leather—and delivered a sharp, calculated kick to the exact center of the axle hub.
CRACK.
The acid-eaten metal snapped like a twig. The entire back half of the carriage collapsed with a deafening crash, sending splinters flying. The horses reared, screaming.
The courtyard went dead silent.
I stood there, unbothered, dusting invisible dirt off my coat.
"S-Sabotage?" Gerrick whispered, his face draining of color. He stared at the broken axle, then at me.
I flashed him a dazzling, terrifying smile.
"Indeed. It seems someone is very eager to see me dead. How rude." I turned to the stunned servants. "You there. Bring me the cargo wagon. The reinforced one usually used for iron ore."
"The... the ore wagon, My Lord?" the stable boy stuttered. "But it has no seats! It's uncomfortable!"
"I don't care about comfort," I said, my voice projecting clearly across the yard. "I care about not dying in a ditch. Load it up. And throw in ten crates of lumber, a set of masonry tools, and three barrels of raw iron."
Gerrick stepped forward, confused. "Caelus, you're going to the Hollowlands. It's a ruin. Why do you need construction materials?"
I looked at him, my blue eyes glowing with a manic intelligence.
"Because, Gerrick," I said, channeling every ounce of my new charisma. "I'm not going there to rule a ruin. I'm going to play a game."
"A... game?"
"Yes. It's called 'Kingdom Building'." I adjusted my collar. "And I have the cheat codes."
[Quest Updated: The Foundation]
[Objective: Reach the Hollowlands alive.]
[Bonus Objective: Make Gerrick question his life choices.] (Completed)
"Now, chop chop!" I clapped my hands. "I have a dungeon to exploit and an economy to crash. Let's get moving."