For the first time I'm sharing my feelings with people I do not know, for what purpose, I do not know. But all I know is that sharing my story might just be the one think you are looking for at this particular moment.
For the first time I can bring myself bare for you to understand better that one thing you are struggling with.
For the first time you can ignore all the bad bad things people are saying of you and focus just beyond their saying.
For the first time, I am learning how to put myself first above everyone else's say and listen to what I have to say to myself.
Most times, I focus on what people are saying that we ignore all what we are meant to do and be which poses danger on our lives and not in the lives of the people who are taking!
So, for the first time, I shut the world out and just LISTEN. You will be surprised at you will know about yourself and your environment when you do so.
Most people that about and to others about they see and feel is wrong - based on their examination - and try to guide you to the right path to make amendments. These set of people have gone through this before and are trying to help you NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AS THEY DID, PERIOD! But sadly, they are the set of people we hate the most!
These people tells you the better truth that pierce through your soul and cracks the barrier you have set for yourself of making excuses and in giving them too.
Look, I didn't like my my elder sister at first because I confide in her and she reprimands me which I think it's ought not be so. But she always find different ways to do so without -here comes the bummer - firstly, loosing my interest in what she is saying, secondly, giving me relevant examples to help me better understand what she meant, holding my that is, not judging but guiding, thirdly, being bare with me for me to know she was in my shoe and she made it out strong.
Now, having people in this category is quite rare and crucial! But many don't have these kind of people to guide them! That's the irony of life, most of us have these kind of people and we don't listen to them or we pretend to listen and still repeat the same thing. While of us don't have this kind of people and wished you have but you didn't so you went astray and loses track of everything.
I feel bad most times when I think of how many times I have been scolded about something and I still did it, not to make them feel bad but for them to know that they are taking their advice too far. But I feel most bad when I get to know of the few that no one to advice them and wished they did, I break down.
I am not saying I am perfect or in the right, but I am TRYING TO BE on the right. That's what makes me different.
So, for the first time, I listen to me to know what I want, so that when others try to talk to me about something, I will listen, appreciate them and try to do right not just by them, but by God as well!
To be honest, I didn't give God or still haven't truly given God all the credit he deserves in my love yet. And that's messed up. But recently I can to the realization that I am the one giving myself a tough time. Why? I do not know and trust when I say to you on this one, that I'm trying to find out why.
I may be lackadaisical about so many things I. my life, but there are a few that no matter how oblivious I try to be about them, I can't out run them no matter how much I try.
I don't know what what you are running or hiding or shielding yourself from, but I'm here to tell you, for the first time, take a leap of faith and TRY.
There are results, beautiful results in trying, I am a product of that result.
And trust me when I also say to you, I got you, I'm right by your side every single stride of your journey of self discovery. I am here for you.