The world tells us that our first love is the one that always leaves behind bits of itself in us. It also tells us that love makes fools of us all. It is a force that can make saints out of sinners and sinners into saints. We will bend over backwards for those we love until we each reach our limits and can go no further. My first love, like many can relate, was once one of my best friends. The boy next door, I thought that he was just a bit wounded and needed affection that came from our relationship to nourish the good bits of his soul. He had his problems, of course, all of us have our own flaws, but Anderson had complicated problems. Problems that were bigger than my teenage heart. I truly thought when he healed he would be my sweet Prince but rather he was the serpent I had raised in my own home. I had fed, clothed, and protected a serpent that would one day bite my back.The thing is, people like Anderson, is that they are as lovely as they are deadly. Their lovely visage hides the darkness lurking behind the spark of their eyes. Within them lies a deadly trap marked with the words, Danger. By time I knew and realized all of this it was basically too late, I had given him the right and ability to roam in my life with impunity and that he did. He consumed all that was once mine and then turned its treasonous maw at me to consume me.
Once upon a time I had a wonderful social life. Growing up I was always taught that a life lived solely alone was a life only partially lived. With that in mind, I was close to two people from a very young age, Amy and Sophie. Our friends seemed as strong and sure as the rising of the moon and the setting of the sun. We were a certainty in a Kindergarten world of uncertainties. Unlike others, our friendship never changed in a negative way, it only evolved and became more For whatever reason, when we found each other we clicked as if each of us were some missing piece of a puzzle that could now be solved at long last. Then, when we were in third grade someone new moved onto my street. He was both shy and kind as far as I could tell, though Amy always seemed to be cautious of him. This boy would grow up and eventually reveal that he was both witty and funny in addition to the things before and very quickly, with a great deal of encouragement, became a part of our group of friends.
Those were the good times. We explored our small college town togethers, swam on the swim team with one another, and hid away at the town library in our free time of Summer. In school we all tended to have classes together near each other due the massive influence our parents had on the PTO and thus school. Although, that worked as a double edged sword as we could rarely get into trouble and manage to keep it from our parents. We thought that nothing could change our friendship and really, it didn't, until we were much older. Shortly, after we turned thirteen Anderson's father disappeared and his mother was a mess. It was a big deal since his dad was the Chief of Police and now he was suddenly gone. After six months of being unable to find him or a body, slowly but surely the town moved on. A new Chief was picked and time moved on without him there in any of our lives anymore. It wasn't until later we found out Anderson's father had been a monster who battered his wife, his son, and even his seven year old daughter wasn't safe from the flails of his fits. He sought to control every bit of their lives. We had just assumed that his father was strict and cautious about his family's safety. But now all those demands for constant tracking of Anderson made sense. When that bomb fell we couldn't help but feel that the world was suddenly a better place for him being gone. We thought it would last forever, the good times.
In the early Summer of our eighteenth year, a new hell entered our lives. The bane of my very existence moved here and she moved fast at social networking, and so did her parents. She was all but shoved at us by our parents. Suddenly our little squad had a whole unknown member in it. One that had set her gaze on the only male member of our group, and also, my boyfriend. Like any logical being, I assumed he'd reject her, then it would be awkward for a bit and she would either get over it or leave the group in a huff. And at first that is how it went, until at the end of the Summer, while we were out at Sofie's greenhouse, locked hip to hip. Then the world cracked and fell to pieces just as if it was a mirror. I felt numb at the sight. After vomiting at the sight of the traitorous pair. I left and I haven't left my room since. Until to fucking day. The first day of school always sucks, even if it's the last first day of high school.