The rain fell in relentless sheets, blurring the world into a gray, dripping haze. I had never liked rainy days, never understood why, but today it pressed down on me like a weight I couldn't lift. Each drop seemed to pierce through me, making my chest ache, my heart throb as if it might burst. Everything felt unreal, distorted, as though the world itself were trembling, and I was powerless to stop it.
"Again busy with your daydreaming."
Something hit my head. When I looked back, it was him.
"What are you looking at?"
I stared at him for a moment and said, "Nothing."
After a while, though, it felt like I'd been a bit rude, so I corrected myself.
"Nothing much, just the rain."
"The rain? Do you like it?"
"I don't know. What about you?"
"I think I like rain, but not that much."
"Oh, I see."
I glanced at my watch. It was 02:24.
It was getting late, yet our homeroom teacher still hadn't come back. I wasn't worried, more annoyed by the noise in the classroom. Everyone was talking in groups, laughing and chatting, while I sat alone on my seat, watching the rain fall outside.
After an hour, our homeroom teacher came back and told us that it was a half day and there would be no more classes due to a lack of teachers.
I got up and put everything into my bag when a hand reached out to me.
"Yuuki," he said, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Wanna go home together?"
He was the only person in this whole classroom no, in this whole school who talked to me, who even knew I existed.
"I have some work to do," I said, avoiding his gesture. It wasn't really kindness anyway. He just wanted someone to keep him company and carry his heavy bag.
"Aww, man."
I walked away, but after taking a few steps, I stopped. I looked back and said, "Let's go."
He's the only friend I have, so I guess there's nothing wrong with helping him. And I don't think I have anything better to do. At least I'll have some company and won't feel alone.
After taking a few steps, we noticed that the rain had almost stopped. I realized I didn't have an umbrella in my backpack, so this must have been some kind of good luck. Smiling, I asked him to hand me his backpack, hoping he'd give it to me immediately. He didn't. That wasn't very surprising, but it still caught me off guard.
"What do you think, that I wanted to make you carry my backpack? I'm not that kind of friend."
I immediately felt ashamed. I stayed quiet for a moment, then said, "I just wanted to help."
I really wanted to help. I wanted to help... right? What did I want again?
"Let's go. The bus arrived."
Without saying another word, I got on the bus. There was a seat available right in front of me, and I took it immediately without wasting any time. I looked around and saw him standing at the very back of the bus. He waved at me and said, "Don't worry about me. Don't leave that seat."
He wasn't just being humble like anyone else would be. No one is that humble. It was simply him knowing me better than anyone else. I nodded and looked away, not trying to meet his gaze anymore.
For a while, I kept looking at people without realizing I was actually staring at them. I was in my own world, I think. I quickly tried to shift my gaze, but before I could, someone said, "That guy has been staring at you for a long time."
The other girl looked at me. I froze immediately, thinking she might report me for being a pervert, or call my parents, or do something worse. Thought after thought crossed my mind until I snapped back and tried to look away. But that girl was still looking at me, with those pretty eyes of hers.
Pretty? Why did I call them pretty? I don't know, but my heart started to feel heavy. My eyes were stuck on hers, it was purple, a hue of purple, She kept looking at me with her deep purple eyes, wait was it blue? It was hard to tell from the distance and she was constantly smiling, and I didn't understand it. Was she trying to make sure I wouldn't run away so she could report me, or was she interested in me?
It was hard to tell. But why would a random guy like me be interesting to anyone? Was she just being polite? But why, just because I had been staring at her?
My mind was crowded with questions. Why smile at me? Why even look at me? She had been looking at me for too long, even now.
Is she blind? No, that can't be. I can feel her looking straight into my eyes. I don...
"Dumbass wake up from your day dreaming"
I looked back and it was Rei. He pulled me up, and we got off the bus. It all happened so suddenly that I couldn't even process what had just happened.
"I"
"You wanna use the toilet?"
"No... Why would you even ask that"
"Just a guess, was it right?"
"No"
"You're no fun to be honest"
He's right. Even I know I'm terrible at conversations. Humor and jokes are almost nonexistent when I talk to him, unless he forces them in himself, and even then they usually collapse halfway through and leave us staring at nothing.
While we were talking, we arrived at Rei's house. Or maybe we weren't really talking at all. He patted my back and said,
"Get home safely."
He's kind. No, that's wrong. He was just being polite.
Or maybe kindness and politeness are the same thing and I'm the only one trying too hard to separate them.
I nodded and said, "You too." That didn't make sense. He was already standing in front of his house. I realized it a second too late. Maybe he realized it too. Maybe he didn't care. I cared.
Feeling awkward, I turned around and started walking
toward my own house. It wasn't far. About ten minutes, if I didn't think too much. Of course, I thought too much.
After a ten minute walk, I arrived home and noticed the door was already unlocked. Without giving it much thought, I went inside and looked around. The entrance was dark. The lights were off for some reason. I was about to turn them on, but I didn't. There was enough light coming in from outside, just enough for me to see my shoelaces.
I sat down at the entrance and placed my shoes on the rack below. Then I realized I had forgotten to say that I was back home. But it felt too late to say it now, I guess.
"Welcome home."
I looked back. It was mo... mother.
I was about to reply, but there wasn't anything ready in my head. No proper response. So I waited, thinking she would say something else and save the conversation for me.
She didn't.
Three minutes passed. Or maybe it was less. Or more. I'm not sure.
I stood up and was about to head upstairs to my room.
"how was your day at school?"
"It was nice"
I should've used something like it was fun or i did that and this, but there was no taking back what I said already.
"Would you like chicken for dinner?"
"I do"
"Fried or?"
"Fried"
"Okay then, I'll call you when it's done"
I nodded and head back to my room, while standing infront of my room I can hear the noise from the tv coming down from the living room, it was probably father, did he come early today?
"It's locked," I muttered to myself while trying to find the key in my bag. After a few seconds, I found it. It had a purple, ruby like keychain, so it wasn't that hard to spot.
After opening the door, I stared at my room for a minute or two. I noticed I'd forgotten to clean my bed before leaving in the morning. I stepped inside and pulled out a rack of clothes from under the bed. There wasn't much variety, so choosing what to wear was easy. I placed the clothes on the bed, close to the locked window, and noticed how much dirt had piled up on it.
"I have to clean the window someday," I muttered to myself.
I started undressing. While doing that, I began thinking about the girl on the bus.
"She was weird."
Not the usual kind of weird, like me. More like the kind of weirdo who isn't aware of their own weirdness. Or maybe she was aware. Never mind.
I looked at the clock. It was around 07:34. That's when I suddenly realized I was sitting naked on my bed, spacing out again. I stood up and was about to change when I noticed something strange. My watch. It was still showing 02:24. It must be broken. I placed it on the desk and put my clothes back on.
After a few more minutes of spacing out, I sat on my bed, wondering what I should do. I didn't have any homework since today's classes were canceled. I thought I'd spend the time playing games. I don't really have a console or anything, just one laptop that I use to read, study, and play games. After a few hours of gaming, I started to feel annoyed. Not at the game itself, but at the people. The people playing against me. It was a PvP game, and I kept losing again and again. Honestly, I'm not very good at games like that. While I was thinking about what to do next, my phone started ringing. It was mother. She was probably calling me for dinner. I picked up the phone, and just as I expected, she asked me to come downstairs. I went down and entered the kitchen. Father was already sitting on a chair opposite mother. I immediately took the seat closest to him since there were no other seats left. When he noticed me sitting beside him, he didn't look at me. He just said.
"how was your day?"
I hesitated.
"It ended early" I said. That wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the whole thing. The whole thing felt unnecessary.
"Why?"
"Teachers weren't there"
Nothing but a simple nod, no, it wasn't even a nod just simple shake which was interrupted half way.
Mom started placing the plates one by one, no more talk, it was feeling a bit awkward so I started staring at the window close to me which was closed already, after a minute of waiting mom started serving the food, I waited until both of them started eating before touching my food. I don't remember when I picked up that habit, Or why. It just felt wrong to be the first.
There was an awkward silence for half an hour, we were all eating father was right beside me, and before i noticed I started matching my pace to his, whenever he drank water, i drank water, whenever he paused, i paused, maybe I thought if I synced myself properly, I'd disappear into the rhythm or maybe, nevermind.
Mother said after a while.
"You came home early"
"Yes"
"That's good"
I nod back even tho she wasn't looking.
No one mentioned the rain. No one mentioned the bus. No one mentioned the girl. It felt strange, like those things had happened in a different version of the day. One that didn't make it home with me.
Halfway through the meal, Father stood up.
"I'm done"
He took his plate to the sink and left the kitchen. I watched his back until he was gone. I don't know what I was expecting him to do. Turn around, maybe. Say something extra. He didn't.
Mother glanced at me then.
"Don't stay up too late."
"I won't."
That was probably a lie. Or maybe not. I hadn't decided yet.
Back in my room, I sat on the bed again. The watch was still on the desk, still frozen at 02:24. I picked it up and shook it lightly. Nothing changed. Time stayed where it was.
I lay down, staring at the ceiling.
For some reason, I thought of her smile again. Not clearly. Just the idea of it.
"She was weird" I whispered, just to hear a voice in the room.
The ceiling didn't argue.
"Good night" i muttered to myself.