Akihiro Yamagi, 1 year old, nursery.
"So shite, dare ga koko de tote moka wai ide suka?" Said the woman looming over me, probably a Japanese woman.
"Agu-agu." What did you just call me?! Come here!
My attempts to wriggle out of the blanket and reach her only amuse her. Hmm, you bitch yourself. I'm offended.
Akihiro Yamagi, 2 years old, kindergarten playground.
Sitting by an anthill, poking it with a stick, watching. Mesmerizing activity, even for my already… 28+2=30. Hmm, 30-year-old consciousness.
But it's not just mesmerizing, it also provides an alibi—playing with an anthill is natural for a child! A child staring at one point for hours with an absent look—that raises questions. So everything for the sake of cover. Shame I don't have water, would be interesting to pour it into the anthill… hmm…
Pull yourself together! Ahem, while there's time I should assess the situation I'm in—first, I'm Japanese! In theory. Well, everyone here is narrow-eyed, chance it's China or Korea—also exists. But Truck-kun that sent me here narrows it down to one option—I'm in Japan. And that's wonderful!
The only question is which Japan exactly? Like—is this a harem anime, slice-of-life, or are there magical girls? And to figure that out—I need to find the local average anime protagonist! A non-trivial task in its complexity.
Carefully surveyed my kindergarten group.
Hmm, no one stands out yet—all black-haired and look alike, even the girls. Means I ended up in the background mob group. Well, need to try to find the local MC—so keep eyes peeled, average anime protagonist has many signs! Like a lonely playing child with no friends, immediately reminds of Naruto… and in a way me. Hmm, in theory I myself might be a future average anime protagonist, brrr—need to chase these thoughts away!
Ahem, continuing—also bright appearance, here I immediately fail, phew. And yes, bright appearance for some reason must be perceived by everyone as normal! Some green hair, if a girl with such appearance shows up—means I'm on the right track and it's either a future harem member of the average anime protagonist or a main heroine herself! Chance this is a magical girls story isn't small. Hmm, I could end up in a yuri shoujo about unrequited love…
The engulfing thought that I ended up in a yuri anime caused stupor. And horror. Brrr, in any case it's another world! Possibly… Pull yourself together—there must be magic here! Hopefully…
After a couple minutes of staring into nowhere.
Ah. Ahem, seems it passed. Well, and the third sign—loud shouts and delusional ideas like—save, protect, help everyone and anyone for free! Only a true average anime protagonist would spout such nonsense even as a child. Hmm, suppose I find him—what next?
I might be able to befriend him, but do I need that? No, of course anime often showed how priceless childhood promises between brats are and that it's ONE of the pillars of an average anime protagonist's personality!
But I can't stand ordinary kids, and pretending I'm interested in his nonsense 24/7… yeah I'll snap and beat him. Means I'll watch him and try to steal whatever deus ex machina will rain on him from the horn of plenty.
Having made such a valuable decision, I continued poking the anthill.
Akihiro Yamagi, 4 years old, home, TV room.
Sitting assembling Lego—truth be told, the first 45 years of a boy's life are the hardest! Having built Batman's car from different sets and stuffed a Lego motor into it, then letting it ride across the room floor. I'm an engineer at mom's!
And also a genius. And overall a handsome guy, yes. Proud of these shocking revelations—stood up and went for the car. Passing the TV heard some panicked screams from the anchor, making me turn around.
On screen they showed some red fog, giant tentacles bursting from it and smashing the ground, and an unclear silhouette of some gigantic creature in that fog. Suddenly a stripe of golden light cut through the fog dispersing it, and I saw something… first thought was—Cthulhu. But had to admit I was wrong, more like an ancient god from WoW!
At that moment I was picked up and carried to my room while something was wailed. But I managed to glimpse how that thing sliced in half by the beam quickly regenerated, a bunch of eyes crawled out of it, and then it fired a red beam…
Already lying in bed, I slowly melted. Well, clearly there's magic here! But this abomination doesn't ring any bells, though something flickers on the edge of consciousness. All the following days I constantly hovered near the TV hoping the news would show something else. And I was a bit bothered that to my question—"what was that?" I got the answer—"what are you talking about?"
Hmm, well memory wiping and some kind of secrecy status wasn't a shock to me, but I decided to keep quiet and not stand out. Let them write it off as a child's vivid imagination, but those who did it…
Fifty-fifty, if I dig and ask—might get noticed. Chance I just slipped through memory wiping exists, or maybe they just ignored kids. So I shut up and waited for something like that to flash on TV again.
And I waited, one unremarkable evening urgent news came on again—in **** a fuel plant exploded? Part of the city destroyed, eyewitnesses talk of a red moon and something flowing from it. But it's written off as hallucinations from poisonous gases.
Hmm, red moon? Staring at the wall I racked my brain—something about this rings a bell. Red moon, some monster… surely there are battles and magic. Think. Battles, magic, Servants… Servants? Hmm, Servants"… summoning? On the edge of consciousness a picture flickers of some woman in armor with a sword.
Another couple minutes sorting memories… okay, what if hentai? Racked my brain more—woman with a sword, knight? Hentai with knights? Hmm, well that moment doesn't narrow the suspects at all, afraid it even widens! Well then this tentacle monster fits the picture perfectly! Though unlikely, it was still killed by Saber. Stop. Saber? Knight. Why did I say Saber, not knight? And the word itself—Saber.
For some reason in my head it equals knight, but knight is knight. No one would use a similar but unused word. Alien. Think—Saber, knight… Saber, Saber… in my head a picture appears of a woman in blue armor—getting close… Ar… Arturi… Artoria? And immediately following comes—Pendragon.
In my head a bright image of a blonde in armor with a sword flashes. And right after the image comes my inner scream—fuuuuuck.
***
Go to my patreon if you want to support me and get access to more chapters: https://www.patreon.com/Granulan